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CIO Night No.5

CIO Night No.5 - Much the same thing happened last night. James went down at 8:00pm, and woke up somewhat early for his bottle, around 10:45pm. After that he went back to sleep, and woke up sometime around 5:40am. He whined a bit, and then slept on-and-off until about 6:15am. Then he started to cry, but we just left him alone, and around 6:30am he fell asleep again until 8:00am.

We were supposed to go out tomorrow night with friend's, and leave James with a grandma, but I've decided not to do that. I think I would rather get this nighttime routine established first. We were also supposed to spend Sat.-Sun. night at a Motel for a family reunion, but again I don't think we will. I don't think the Motel neighbours would really enjoy hearing a baby crying at night! I think we'll just come home for the night, and go back the next day. I really would hate to see him backtrack at this point - he's doing so well!

One commenter on my last post asked how I am feeling after getting some good sleep. I feel AMAZING! I have energy for James through the day, and I don't get nearly so frustrated with him when he gets fussy. I've made a decent supper two nights in a row, and have supper planned for tonight too. My laundry is caught up. I feel emotionally more stable, and I feel like I can THINK. There is no longer a fog around my brain. I also feel more relaxed, and less irritated (I think my husband must be thankful for that). I just thank God for these last few nights of rest, and just pray that we will have more to come. It is incredible what a little sleep can do. Thanks for asking!

Another commenter encouraged me with an email this week. She stressed the importance of training up my child, and to NOT feel guilty about doing it! It was a big eye-opener for me, because I hadn't thought of letting James CIO as training. I sort of felt guilty about it because I thought I was being selfish, not wanting to get up for him all night. This friend just reminded me that it is my RESPONSIBILITY to train and discipline James, and that there is no time like the present to start molding him into the obedient little boy I want him to be. I appreciated hearing that so much. I also want to be able to enjoy helping James become a loving, caring man-of-God. I now see it as a joy to train James rather than something to feel guilty about. Thanks for that great reminder!

CIO Nights No. 3 & 4

CIO Night No. 3 - Night number 3 was not too bad. James went down at 8:00pm, and woke up for his 11:30pm bottle. He went back down to sleep, and then woke up at around 2:20am. We let him cry for a bit, and when we went in to check on him he was not standing up in his crib - he was just on all fours. Hopefully that means that the new trick has grown old already! We laid him down, rubbed his back - and he would actually almost fall asleep, but as soon as we would leave the room, he would cry again. It lasted just over an hour, but finally he fell asleep and woke up at 8:00am.

CIO Night No. 4 - Night number 4, which was last night, is giving us some hope! We put James down at 8:00pm, he woke up for the 11:30pm bottle and went back to sleep without a problem. He slept until... drum roll please... 6:20am! I heard him peep a few times through the night, but he seemed to just put himself back to sleep. So, at 6:30am my hubby was going to go give James a bottle, but I said, "No, don't do that. We want him to learn to sleep until at least 7:00am, so let's just let him be for a bit". We whined and cried a little, but we DID NOT GO INTO HIS ROOM. It only took about 20 minutes, and he went back to sleep - and slept until 8:30am, when I woke him up! Heehee - it almost makes me giddy! I'm actually excited to see what he'll do tonight.

CIO Nights No.1 & 2

Well, we did it folks - we started letting James cry-it-out. First off I have to say that it totally SUCKS! It breaks my heart every second that James is crying. I stand at his door in torture waiting for each interval of ten minutes to pass with tears streaming down my face. Here's the story...

Up until now, my hubby and I didn't really agree on how we wanted to handle James' night waking. My hubby was not interested in letting James cry-it-out (from here on in CIO), but I was ready to try anything. However, I felt we HAD to be on the same page before we could support each other through it. Finally, on Saturday night, after trying to put James down after a 12:00am bottle, Ryan walked out of his room while James wailed away in his crib. He refused to fall asleep, and the minute we would put him in his crib he would be up again. It was finally enough, and we agreed that he had to cry. We did decide though that because he is standing up in his crib, we would go in every 10 minutes, lay him down, and then walk out.

So, we did it. The first night was terrible. He went down to sleep around 8:00pm, and then woke up at 12:00am for a bottle. We had decided he could still have the usual 11:00pm bottle - but that night it was 12:00am. Then that whole fussing thing started, so it was time to let him CIO. He cried hard when we left the room, and immediately stood up in his crib. We waited ten minutes, went in, laid him down, patted his head, said "shhhhhh" and then walked out. He WAILED. He COUGHED. He GAGGED. It was BAD. My heart was aching, but I willed myself not to go in - and reminded myself that in the end, this pain will pay off. It took an hour, but finally he settled down (with those heart-wrenching after-cry hiccups), and fell asleep. He slept until almost 7:00am!

Last night was a little different. We were in the city for supper, and James slept on the way home so it sort of messed up his bedtime. He finally went down around 9:00pm. He was up at 11:00am for his bottle, which was fine, and he seemed to go down again relatively easily. He woke up at 4:00am. It was time to let him cry again. It was much the same as the previous night. We went in at 10 minute intervals to lay him down, pat his head, etc. It took an hour, but again he finally settled and slept until 8:00am.

So, tonight we will continue with CIO. The plan remains to put him down around 8:00pm, let him have the 11:00pm bottle, and anything after that is CIO. I am just praying it won't take more than a week to have him sleeping from 8:00pm to 11:00pm, and then 11:00pm to 7:00am. After that, we hope to work on eliminating that 11:00 bottle. If you think to pray for us too, that would be great. I can't remember the last time I had to have this much will power. It hurts this mommy's heart to hear her first born cry like that, but I know that we all need to start sleeping - so this is our last resort.

Another Sleep-Deprived Week

Are you sick and tired of hearing my complaints about the sleep issues at our house? If yes, please skip this post. If no, and you care to read about what is going on and either want to help or empathize, read on!

The last week has been the roughest we've ever had as far as sleep goes. Not only was this a week of milestones and many bumps and bruises, but it has also been exhausting. During the day, James is basically happy, energetic and wanting to learn, touch, explore EVERYTHING! It's crazy! He has another tooth coming in now, and possibly more on the way. He is crawling full speed, and starting to pull himself up on things - including his CRIB. Last night he was up from 4:00am to about 6:30am. Every time he would finally fall asleep in our arms, and we'd put him in the crib, it wouldn't take more than a few minutes before he was standing and crying. At one point we finally laid him down, and walked out of the room. He cried hard for 10 minutes, and I couldn't take it any longer so I went in. He hicupped after that for almost an hour! I felt terrible, but even worse is this shadow over us that is our lack of sleep. My hubby is finally fed up too, but we don't know what to do. Can we assume that he is really not suffering from any unseen problem, and just let him cry? Having no sleep, it is hard to make decisions, and it is difficult to be rational - particularly at 5:00am. I am surprised we are not divorced yet.

Seriously, I find this sleep situation distressing now. At first I was able to somewhat embrace it, but it has progressively gotten worse and worse. I am very officially at my wits end, and I don't know what to try next. I think everyone I know is just sick of me by now, so I feel somewhat abandoned with this problem, and on top of it we get very little time by ourselves. Time without James has now become almost a necessesity. Things sort of feel very fragile around here right now. Even this post doesn't entirely make sense in my opinion. Anyway, he is down now for the night (9:00pm), so I am going to end here and try to get some sleep before the party starts.

World's Worst Mother Moment

Ah, the blissful sound of a quiet house as little James takes his morning nap. Mom is happily checking up on her emails when suddenly the silence is broken by... THUMP! Mom's heart stops momentarily as she realizes the "thump" can only be one thing. The silence in the house is no longer blissful, but rather panic-inducing as mom rushes out of the office and down the stairs as fast as possible. Upon reaching the bottom stair the scream errupts, and the wailing follows. Mom (feeling like the world's biggest failure), rushes into her bedroom to find her dear little James on his knees on the laminate floor. His little nogan is garnished with a sizeable purple welt, as he decided that his adventure over the pillow-fence onto the floor should be head-first. As mom wipes tears (some of her own), kisses the "boo-boo" and rushes to find a cold compress, the world slowly becomes a happier place again. Little James will no longer take naps on Mom's bed. Mom also decides to play it safe, and calls Health Links, just to make sure she shouldn't go to the hospital. She also has grandpa come over to wire the phone shelf to the wall, and puts up the baby gate at the stairs. At least there were some smiles afterwards...

We Need Skidpants!

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F.R.O.G.

*NEW* Update at the end of this post!

I love it when God gives me one of the those ever appreciated slaps upside the head! I got one yesterday, and although I know I will likely need a reminder again, I sure hope that I've learned my lesson this time. It's pretty incredible that God chose to give me a miraculous answer to prayer in order to teach me this particular lesson. When will I ever learn to just trust Him, and stop relying on my own (failing) knowledge?!

As you may have gathered, if you read my blog regularly, James is not exactly a champion night sleeper. Over the past few months his nights have seemingly gone from okay, to not great, to pretty bad. We were feeling pretty tired, and it's been taking a toll on us emotionally, physically, socially... and for me, spiritually. This sleep-deprivation problem became magnified this week as James came down with a bad cold, began teething hard core, crawling, etc. I don't believe I got more than about 3 hours of (unrestful) sleep over the last week. We were both, to term, absolutely exhausted - almost to the brink and teetering on complete melt down. This is NOT a good state for any parent to be in at all. I kept praying for sleep, and each night I would crawl into bed with dread in my heart for the up-coming night. Anxiety would keep me from falling into sleep, and before long James was awake and crying - and the night adventures of sleeplessness would begin again.

Yesterday afternoon I went on a walk with my amazing neighbour and friend Rebekah, and she prayed with me about the problem. I felt slightly lighter as I made my way home, and just asked God to help me make Him a part of the rest of my day. As I walked through the yard, I decided that I would eliminate ALL medications for James that day. I would also make sure he didn't get any other sources of sugar. I had sort of figured lately that the meds were making him hyper, and he had also been getting a lot of unauthorized sweet treats from grandparents lately too.

Around 8:00pm I began to get that lump in my throat as the dread of the night started to sneak into my soul. Aloud I told Satan to stop attacking my mind, and immediately I felt that I needed to go to James' room. I stepped into his room, and almost felt the hand of God Himself push me to my knees. I sat on the floor and weeped, and asked God to be present in that room. Again, I asked God out loud to get rid of all evil in that room. I prayed and quoted Scripture over James' crib, asking God to make it free of sickness, fear, and insecurity. I asked that his room be filled with the peace of God, and angels of protection. I prayed in his room for about 45 minutes, and was left with a four-word phrase that I had heard many years ago - "Fully Rely On God". You may remember the days of W.W.J.D., and one of these such phrases was F.R.O.G. I went to bed, and had continuous urges to feel anxiety, but I would say to myself "fully rely on God, fully rely on God". I fought Satan's attacks on my mind, and with God's help, I fell into a GOOD sleep and decided to let God be in charge of the night.

I woke up around midnight to a silent house. Before I had a chance to fret, the phrase came into my head "fully rely on God". I stopped my negative thoughts, chastized Satan for tempting me to worry, and went back to sleep. I woke again at 2:00am, to a silent house! I went back to sleep. Finally, at 3:00am I actually awoke to James' soft crying - but Ryan was on his way in with a bottle. James was quiet within minutes, and back to sleep quickly. I fell back to sleep. My next awakening was at 6:50am, when James woke up for the day. He played happily in his crib until 7:15am, when I went in to get him and brought him into our bed to play.

PRAISE BE TO GOD - THE HEALER, THE MIRACLE MAKER, THE CREATOR - MY SAVIOUR!

I can only hope and pray that we continue to improve our sleep, and James' nights. I am going to do the same thing again tonight, and just hand over this problem to God. Please pray that I will not be discouraged even if tonight does not go well. I hope I've encouraged you today to F.R.O.G. It worked for me!

UPDATE: Once again, I prayed over James' room last night. James went to bed at 8:30pm, and woke up at 11:00pm for a bottle. He had a little bit of a tough time getting back to sleep, but finally was asleep by 12:00am. He slept until 6:00am, and then was up on-and-off until about 6:45am. I caved in at that time and went to get him. All in all, a pretty good night once again! A bit of an early morning, but oh well!

8 Month Monkey

Wow - I wish I had more time and energy to post about my amazing 8 month old. Unfortunately, he has come down with a nasty cold, and has kept us up for almost a week now. He has started crawling. He has one tooth, and I think three more on their way. He is hilarious. He is still smiley and friendly as ever. He laughs a lot. He makes us laugh a lot. I've been trying to cherish these last few nights, thinking that someday he won't call out for me when he doesn't feel good. He's still so small, and yet I know that these days will pass quickly and I'll wonder where my little boy went!

I'm still very seriously thinking about shutting down the 'ol blog. It's draining me of precious time and energy, and yet I hate to miss out on the many friendships I've made. As I prayerfully consider what I need/want to do, I just ask that you please keep coming back to check in on us!

Sick Little Monkey

Last night was really bad, but at least I now know why! I put James to bed, and he seemed to go down relatively fine - but I did notice that he sounded congested. An hour later he was up, and he was crying very hard. I decided to let him cry a bit, thinking that I was finally going to "lay down the law". After 10 minutes I couldn't take it anymore, and he was coughing and breathing really hard - so I went in to rescue him. He fell asleep in my arms within a few minutes, so I put him back into the crib. He woke up the instant his head touched the mattress - so I attempted this three or four times before I finally had success. I had to prop him up on his side, and that worked. That was around 10:00pm. At 1:00am he woke up again, and again he was crying hard. The crying is unusual. His night wakings are usually just whining until he gets a bottle, so when he cries hard like that and has tears it means he's really upset. I went in and picked him up, but he wasn't even really awake. He kept his eyes shut, and just kept trying to bury his head into my neck. I felt so bad for him - he sounded extremely congested. Finally he fell asleep with his head on my chest, arms over my shoulders. It was really priceless, and although it was 1:30am I didn't want to put him down. I kept telling myself to cherish the moment. Someday he'll be too big to sleep on me like that! I carried him around like that until 2:00am, and then got my hubby to help me set up his rocking chair to sleep in. The rocking chair has a "brake" so that it doesn't rock, and then he is at least propped up enough to breath easier. Once I finally had him in there, he slept until 7:15am!

So, this morning I took him to the Dr. to have his ears checked. Thankfully his ears are clear, but the Dr. did say that he may still have fluid putting pressure on his ear drums - and that could give him an ear ache. I gave him Tylenol for the discomfort, and Dimetapp to clear up his congestion and he seemed to be happier. Tonight I gave him a cough/cold medication, and put him to bed in his rocker again. I feel confident that we all may sleep pretty well tonight... and then when he is healthy again, I WILL lay down the law!

P.S. Thanks Erica for sharing with me how to do this cool effect on photos. I love it!

Just Venting... Again.

The last three nights have been almost the worst we've ever had with James since he was born. I just don't know if I can blame it on teething, or what?! He had a good night from Friday to Saturday. He was up only once between 11:30pm and 7:30am. Then we went to a cabin from Saturday to Sunday, and he was up several times between 8:00pm and 1:00am, and then finally slept until about 6:30am. I figured it was just the strange surroundings, and the playpen that he slept in. Then came Sunday night, which was really bad. He woke up numerous times throughout the night, and then woke up early. So then there was last night. He was up three times between 8:00pm and 2:00am, and at that point I told my hubby I was ready to just let him cry. I should mention that before bed I gave him teething tablets, and Motrin in the case he was having teething pain. My hubby didn't want to let him cry, so he went in at 2:30am and tried to give James a bottle. I should also mention that during all of these night wakings, James hasn't wanted a bottle or a soother - he is just awake, and upset. I fell into bed exhausted, and didn't hear anything until I woke up this morning. However, my hubby reported that James was up numerous times during the night after that - and he held him and let him sleep in his arms for a few hours. This is seriously NOT working for us right now!

In all other regards, James has been great. He naps well during the day (usually two 1.5-2 hour naps). He eats well, and is happy and content for most of the day. He seems to be going down relatively easily at bedtime, around 8:00pm. I know all of the usual suspects too: it's a habit for him, he is teething, he's gassy, etc, etc. He hasn't been gassy, and although it may be a habit - it's not a habit for him to be up THIS much!

I'm actually not really seeking advice this time around. I know that I need to just implement a plan and go with it - and be CONFIDENT in my decision. I don't want to let him cry though if he is having teething pain - but I find it curious that he would have that much pain even after the teething tablets and Motrin? I never imagined being this exhausted. I want to have fun and have energy to play with James during the day, but I feel like I am just dragging myself around. I know many people tell me this is normal, but it sure doesn't feel normal. In fact, it doesn't feel healthy at all - and I think it is even bad for our marriage at this point! Basically, I can say I am looking for comments from anyone who can relate. Don't tell me if you can't relate, because that isn't what I need right now! Where are you tired, not-sleeping-through-the-night mamas?! Let's join forces, and fight the evil lack of sleep!

Gazebo

I just picked up this new screened gazebo at JYSK this week. I was pretty stoked that it was on sale for $99.99! The mosquitos are so bad here I was never able to take James outside. Now with this nice little shelter, I will be able to play outside with him. Of course I woke up this morning and it was raining, so I can't even use it today! By the way, click here to enter into a draw for some really, REALLY cute onesies from Blessed Baby Blessing. I hope I win, so if you DON'T enter, I'll have a better chance. Hahaha! Just kidding, go and enter (and if you win you can just give me the prize).

James' New Trick

Sadly, he basically does this almost constantly now throughout the day. It was funny at first... This is also medium volume, and medium pitch. It fluctuates from low volume, low pitch to HIGH volume, HIGH pitch.

Just Had to Share

Thanks to Jeremy for sending us these great photos he took while we visited them last week. In the one where I am kissing James, if you look REALLY close at his mouth, you can see his little white tooth!

Self Doubt

I am having a bit of a complex this week. One of my greatest weaknesses is that I compare myself to others a lot, not physically, or anything like that - more often, I compare my accomplishments with others. I tend to be very competitive, but I do it somewhat quietly, and a lot of it is in my head. I get hurt easily and begin to doubt myself, especially if I think someone else is doing a better job at something than I am - and then I decide I should probably just quit. This is how I feel about my blog this week.

It may be hormones, but this week I just feel like giving up my blog. I feel like I have no time to read other peoples' blogs, and comment the way I would like to. I also have noticed that I am seemingly posting things here for an audience of about 5-10 bloggers. Maybe there are hundreds of lurkers, but I seem to have lost my initial motivation for blogging. I started it as a place to vent my feelings, and to record my pregnancy. It was just for me, and I didn't care if anyone read it at all. Now I feel like I am sort of doing it for response. If I get a lot of comments, I'm happy. If I get few, I'm discouraged. And then, if I go to another person's blog and they have tonnes of comments, I'm downright upset. This is craziness - and I don't think it's healthy!

So, don't suddenly feel like now you have to flood my comment box with comments! Hahaha! I just wanted to let you know that I may be shutting this part of my life down. Possibly permanently, maybe just temporarily, maybe not at all. But one of my other goals was to use my blog as a place to be real and open, and now I am sharing something that I struggle with. I am trying to give it to God, and see in what direction He will lead me with it. For now, I just thank those who have been walking with me on this journey up until now. I truly love each of you so very much, and your words over the last 2 years have been incredibly helpful and encouraging.

Sleep Update

Considering that we were just about to embark on our trip to BC, I decided to wait on letting James "cry-it-out" until we were home. It seemed unfair to expect him to start sleeping longer hours, and then mess it all up almost immediately with a trip. I also decided to go against my rule of "no books", and ordered two. These books are totally opposite of each other. I bought Dr. Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". The one I got in the mail just before we left is called "The No Cry Sleep Solution". The basic elements of the book are:

• Uncover the stumbling blocks that prevent baby from sleeping through the night
• Determine--and work with--baby's biological sleep rhythms
• Create a customized, step-by-step plan to get baby to sleep through the night
• Use the Persistent Gentle Removal System to teach baby to fall asleep without breast-feeding, bottlefeeding, or using a pacifier

I read the book while we were away, and I liked a lot of the ideas. I decided that I would try it when we got home. James slept really well on our trip though. Maybe it was just that he was so tired each night, or maybe it was that he liked knowing we were close by, but he did really well. Amazing, considering how many places we ended up staying for the night - and each one different than before. It also amazed me that he slept so well in a totally different time zone. He basically switched over to BC time on the first night.

Well, we got home on Wednesday night, and it was a little rough for James. I didn't blame him though, his day was pretty hectic - and we got home quite late. On Thursday night I wasn't ready to start my new sleep program (too tired from the night before), and we took him to his first Bomber game. Again, a really weird day for James - and a little late again too, but because he was on BC time, he did okay. I put him down to bed at 9:15pm (which would be 7:15pm BC time). I usually give him a bottle before bed, but he didn't really seem to want it. I put it away, and he fell right to sleep. We didn't hear from him again until 5:30am!!! I was SHOCKED! This was a pretty major deal - because he hasn't slept 8 hours since... it's been a long time!!! In fact, he hasn't slept more than 5 hours for the last few months. I am a bit suspicious if he has been waking up because of teething. His bottom two teeth just popped out past his gums this week... coincidence? Anyway, Ryan gave him a bottle - he nearly finished the 6oz. - and then slept until 8:00am! Beautiful.

Anyway, I don't want to get my hopes up. I put him down again tonight at 9:00pm, and he didn't even really want his bottle - he just wanted to sleep! I'm praying that we have turned a corner, and that we may be on to some better sleep in the near future.

Update: Last night wasn't great. James was up at 11:45pm, 2:30am, and 5:30am. On the bright side, he didn't seem to need a bottle to fall asleep. He would take his soother, but also needed to be rocked. He did also sleep until 8:15am again, which is nice compared to 6:00 or 7:00. Today we have kept him up almost all morning (as the day before he napped for almost 4 hours altogther), and just put him down for his first nap at 2:30pm. I'm hoping that if he naps less he may sleep a little better. He seems to be in good spirits, so we'll see...

BC Trip Update

Our trip to BC was really great. We sort of pulled it together very last minute, as my brother came home from Mexico and could look after Ryan's business for a week while we went away. So, off we went.

We flew to Kelowna, spent one night, and then drove from Kelowna to Vancouver. Being one to relish a moment, and totally forget my camera, I have no pictures to prove any of this. All my memories are in my head.


On the drive, we made a pit stop in Abbottsford so that we could meet Jamie, Micah and Keziah! It was so neat to meet them, and the best part was that it felt totally normal.

We spent a few days in Vancouver. We went to Stanley Park, and took James to the Vancouver aquarium. He seemed to like the big fish tanks.

Then we were back on our way to Kelowna again - which was not a great drive. We got stuck in some pretty heavy traffic, James wouldn't nap, and then we hit fog, and a big downpour. It wasn't fun.

Once we were settled in Kelowna though, things were much better. The weather was perfect, there were ZERO mosquitos - and great friends. Again, I took very few photos - but I caught this beauty of James and daddy, and we did snap a few at the Red Rooster winery, and on Canada Day at the beach.

I also got to fulfill a life-long dream of mine. I picked and ate cherries right off the TREE! It was amazing!

All-in-all James did awesome on the trip. By the second night he was totally on BC time, which is 2 hour earlier than here at home. However, the last two days of the trip and travelling home have really thrown off his schedule - so nights have been pretty rough. Oh, and I made a quick IKEA stop too. I didn't get much, due to limited luggage space - but I did pick up this thing for James, and he LOVES it! Fifteen dollars well-spent.

BC Trip

Hi everyone! We are having a fabulous time on our trip out here in BC. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera cable - so I can't upload my photos right now. I will have to do a big post when we get home. We are currently in Summerland, which is near Kelowna. We are staying at a friends' place tonight, and then will be at the local Motel for the rest of our trip. James has been a total trooper, and really only complained yesterday during the 7 hour drive from Vancouver to Kelowna. It would not have been that long, but we got stuck in a traffic jam due to a car accident - and then ended up in some dense fog in the mountains, followed by a lot of heavy rain! Crazy!

AND James has sprouted two teeth! They are just peeking through his gums now - but definately can feel two little razors in there. He hasn't been too cranky about it, which is great. I've been using the teething tablets, and they seem to help.

Tonight we are having a BBQ here with a few other friends - which I'm really looking forward to. The view from the window I'm sitting next to is amazing - I wish I could share it with you.

See you soon!

A Great Week

Well, where to start? Let's start with Father's Day. James and I had a lot of fun celebrating Ryan, and his first Father's Day. Below is a picture of him and James in their matching Father's Day t-shirts.

Then, Uncle Matt finally arrived home from Mexico after being away for four months! He was so excited to see James, and they have been having a lot of fun together.

James also got to go in grandma and grandpa Plett's pool for the first time! He squealed with delight the whole time, and loved splashing in it. He also loved the floats that grandpa bought for him. We'll be spending many more afternoons there this summer.

I finally got my IKEA bedding set, and changed up our room for summer. I LOVE the change, and it only cost me $25.




On Thursday, Rebekah and I had the privilege of meeting one of our fellow blogging mommies - Erin, and her son Noah! Erin's blog is private, so I can't share the link. We had a great time together, and we hope to make it a regular practice! Her little Noah is SO cute!

AND... James is basically crawling! I can't believe how fast my little man is growing up. It's crazy! He is getting more and more mobile, which beats having him clanking his head every few seconds.

Thus, the crib had to be lowered this weekend. He is attempting to pull himself up, so we could no longer risk leaving it in the highest position. Ah, it seems like yesterday I was putting it all together - and now I am lowering it!

And, just to finish it off, I thought I'd post a pic of James' most favourite current toys.

Seven Months Old - Road Trip

Could it be that my little newborn babe is over half a year old now? Wow. I always heard people say "they grow up so fast", but nobody ever said "they grow up at the speed of light"! I can't believe how fast James is growing up. I can so clearly remember every detail of his birth (it was not traumatic for me at all, I enjoyed my labour and delivery immensely and can't wait to do it again), it seems like it was yesterday.

He is such an incredible kid. Ryan and I always say he is a great training baby - he is SO easy. Other than his nighttime sleep issues, this kid is almost too good! He is happy almost always, and is very easy to diagnose if he has problems. A good toy will cheer him up almost instantly, and has saved me on many occasions. Particularly during needles (he didn't even cry for more than 30 seconds at his 6 month ones), and when he face-plants while trying to crawl. James wants more than ANYTHING to be MOBILE! He is getting himself on his knees and hands now and rocking back and forth. His attempts at crawling so far have only resulted in going backwards, and some pretty painful forehead-meets-hardwood falls. He is trooper though, and he keeps on trying. He also loves to hold our hands and walk. He takes these huge steps that make us laugh every time.

He is loving solid foods, and eats literally anything. His biggest treats are anything that come off of our plates. He thinks that is the BEST! My mom just made him some yummy homemade food, and he loves it.

Happy seven months Monkey! Daddy and I love you so much, and we are so thankful that we have been blessed to have you in our lives for seven months.

We are leaving next week for a vacation. Does anyone have any tips for travelling (both by air and by car) for a bottle-fed baby? How many bottles do I bring? How do I prepare them on the road? How do I get them washed (bathroom sink)? Also, any tips on how to prevent and treat mosquito bites? I think there must have been one in James' room at night, because he has little red bites all over his bald little head. Can you use spray on them? How about After Bite?

Bomber Baby!

I was pretty surprised when I tried this outfit on James today, as the tag says 18 months! But it fits (with the legs rolled up). Daddy will be so proud of his Bomber baby! We can't wait to take him to his first game, unfortunately most of them are late evening games. I might just have to take him, and then leave early. The last game I was at I was nearly due, and I was huge, and I had to stop a few times getting up to our seats to huff and puff. I thought climbing all those stairs would put me into labour!

Too Personal

I just wrote a big long post pouring out my soul, and then realized that it probably wasn't right for me to "air out my dirty laundry" here on the WWW. Can I just ask for your prayers instead? I'm in a bit of a valley here, and I'm not sure which way to turn. Satan is attacking my heart, I'm hurting, and I need to know what to do. Any prayer will do - short and sweet - but could you just send one up when you are done reading this post? Your prayers have helped in the past, and I'm hoping they will help again.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

~ Psalm 121 ~

Milk Dilemna II

I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do regarding James' milk. I prayed about it too, and asked God to give me a clear sign of what I was supposed to do, and then to give me peace about my decision. In the back of my mind, I was kind of thinking that if James started to sleep better at night, I would feel that was my sign from God not to start whole milk - but I did not ask Him for that, and decided I would let Him be the judge as to how He would show me what I should do. Wouldn't you know that James had a good night that night! He didn't sleep through the night, but slept from 8:00pm - 8:00am with just two brief bottle wake-ups in between. The next night was the same, and again the same the following night. Praise God! My answer was clear, do not start James on whole milk yet. I also felt completely at peace about it, and I am so thankful that God answered my prayer for a sign. God is good, and I want to make sure He gets all the glory for His faithfulness to me!

On the downside, James seems to be napping less now. I don't know which I like better! The better nights, or the longer naps! He was napping two times a day for two hour stretches, and was very easy to put down. Now he seems to be napping for only half an hour, to an hour, and makes a fuss before falling asleep. The last two days he has also been spitting up a lot, so I think I will just go back to the regular 0-12 month formula, and take him off the 6-18 month one.

I've included a photo of yesterdays "mommy" lunch. Nice, hey? James has been loving being on solids. I don't think he has refused anything, except for the plain strained meats. Everything else he loves, and also loves getting little pieces of things off our plates. He still seems to prefer the organic fruit and vegetables. I am hoping to start making some of my own baby food now too, but so far I've been too busy, and a little too lazy to do it. I'll probably start with doing some meat and veggie mixes in the slow cooker. Does anyone have any recipes for that kind of thing?

Pics from James

Hi! Here I am taste-testing my crib. Check out my big blue eyes!

This is me with my grandma Kroeker.

Here I am chilling out in my high chair.

Ha! Ha! Ha! This is me being goofy!

Milk Dilemna

Alright, so here's the story... for the last three months, since James has been on formula, he hasn't been sleeping very great. He was napping awesome though, until about three days ago when he just stopped going down to nap easily. This is when I switched to the 6-18 month formula. Now I fight with him to nap, fight with him to take bottles, fight with him to sleep at least 4 hour stretches at night... fight, fight, fight. He is plenty happy though. He is almost ALWAYS happy. He is just hyper and active, and I feel drained by noon. So, my mom has been telling me that our family has a history of reacting with hyperactivity to the vitamins in formula. She even went to the point of calling the formula company, and asking them some questions. She also did a comparison of the formula to her daily vitamin. James gets almost the same, and sometimes MORE vitamins and minerals per day than my mom's daily supplement! My grandma's kids, my mom, my cousins, my brother and I all went on whole milk (mixed with water, and a little corn syrup) from a few weeks old. Of course, we all are FINE, with no allergies, etc. According to my aunt, when she finally switched my cousin from formula to whole milk at a few months old, she slept for a full 12 hours straight! Anyway, my mom is convinced that James will sleep better, and be less hyper if I switch him over to whole milk now, at 6.5 months. I am SO scared to try, because as you all know, the websites and books say NO whole milk until 1 year old. I just don't know what to do. I feel caught between what "they" say, and what my mom and my family is telling me. If I knew that it would do NOTHING to James, I would try it in an instant - in the hopes that he would relax more, and sleep better. I've prayed about it, and I don't feel like I am getting a clear answer. I haven't been able to get much sleep, as I stay up all night analyzing what I did that day, and what James did that day. I feel like I am sort of teetering on the brink of insanity. What would YOU do? My mom is sort of suggesting doing the whole milk for a 24 hour period to test her theory. Would you do it? I just hate that I am still so influenced by "the experts" to the point where I can't even trust my own mom. I'd love to hear from you guys on this one. I feel stuck.

Sleep, Oh Precious Sleep!

So... last night we took James over to my mom and dad's for a sleep over. I had to laugh at the amount of stuff I had to pack just for one evening, night and morning! We packed the playpen, baby monitor, food, bottles, blankets, diapers, clothes, extra clothes, toys, medications, bath stuff - it likely looked like we were going to leave him there for a month! However, I felt it was all necessary. We brought him over there around 5:30pm, and I gave my mom the "schedule" I had prepared - asking her to please stick to it as much as possible. She complied. So, we left. I missed him almost immediately, and wondered if he would sense abandonment. I knew he was having the time of his life though, and that he was in the best possible hands he could be in - besides my own. When we got home, I didn't really know what to do with myself at first. The house just felt so quiet! I wondered if it had really felt this way before we had James. I couldn't remember it being so quiet. In any case, we had supper and then went outside to work on the yard. I began to feel a little emotional about having left my son. I wanted to go back to say good night to him, kiss him one more time, tell him I love him, just make sure he was okay. I stopped myself though, and told myself to enjoy my time without him. It just felt weird to be responsible only for myself. I eventually went inside, and did cleaning that I usually can't do - like dusting James' room, and things like that. I also got the counter completely free of all dirty dishes! I couldn't believe I would wake up to a clear counter top! Ryan had rented a movie, but by the time we were ready to settle in for the night it was 11:00pm - and we realized we shouldn't spend our night without James by staying up all night! So, we had some relaxing time together and then went to sleep. I did wake up a few times in the night, but it felt nice to just be able to stay in bed. We slept in until about 8:30am, and I had a nice quiet breakfast. Finally, at around 9:30am I couldn't wait any longer and went to pick up James. Of course, he was all smiles when I got there. He had a totally "normal" night, and got up for my mom at the exact same times he would have at home. This was a relief to me - I would have been disturbed if he had slept through the night for her. He was a perfect angel for my mom. Wow! It was so great! Now we know we can rely on him being there for the night if we needed to. All in all, I am so glad we did it - I'm already looking forward to the next time, but I don't want it to be anytime soon. It's great to have the house noisy again! I definately thank God that life doesn't feel right without James there to be part of it. I wouldn't go back to that life for anything.

A Full Night's Sleep

James' sleeping habits have been so hit and miss lately - it's driving me nuts. One night he'll sleep well, with just his usual feedings, and then the next he'll be up numerous times for no apparent reason. Some say gas. Some say growth spurt. Some say teething. Some say it's time to implement the "cry it out" strategy. I just don't know.

In any case, my mom has offered to take James for the night tonight. We are taking him over there around 5:00pm, and leaving him for the night! Ack! I'm partly excited, and partly nervous. I know my mom will do a great job with him, but I have NEVER been away from him that long - let alone during the night. I just don't want him to be afraid. Moreso, I don't want to hear that he slept through the night for her! Wouldn't that just be my luck?! I have to collect all his stuff for tonight - track down the playpen, make bottles to last the night, put a bag of clothes and toys together, plus pack his towel and other bath stuff as he needs the ones that have been washed in baby detergent (due to his rash prone skin). It will probably be fun for them, but I still can't shake my nervousness. I doubt I'll even sleep well, because I'll be wondering how things are going! Don't worry - I will enjoy my night of rest, and hopefully Ryan and I will have a chance to watch a movie and relax together.

So, wish me luck as I am about to go back to life without a child... for one night!

Finally, a Hot Day!

(Please excuse the pastey thunder thighs to the right.)

An accidentally well-positioned hippopotamus.

Got Milk?

Scammed!

I think I've been scammed! Read about it here.

James' New "Word"

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos Sometimes I just stare at this kid, and wonder how on earth I got so incredibly blessed. He is my life.

Random Pictures

6 month photoshoot

Little tush!

Blowing raspberries.

Playing in grandma and grandpa's bed.

Cutest sandals ever!

A Whole New Thang!

WARNING: This is a long post, with no pictures, hope you have some time. It even has chapter headings.

Gangsta'
So my husband had to laugh at me yesterday because apparently I've picked up some gangsta' slang, and he doesn't think it really suits me. I don't know what he's talking about. I was certain that I was really pulling off the whole gangsta'-from-the-ghetto thing pretty well. Maybe not.

Props
My husband laughed when I said, "I had to give this mom in church props...". Anyway, besides my new habit of using ghetto slang, I really did have to give a thumbs up to this mom who was in front of us in church yesterday. She has three kids, girls aged 6 and 2, and a son who is 4. Her son was getting restless half way through the message, and was starting to stir up trouble with his two sisters. It escalated until the point where people in the near vicinity were doing the disgruntled turn and glare. At that point, the mom (who is also pregnant with No.4) picked up her son, put him on her lap and started to give him a back massage. He settled down quickly, and she continued to give him a massage until the service was over. He didn't make another peep, and the two girls coloured quietly without disturbance. I had to say to myself, "Smart move lady!". I've been hearing more and more about infant/toddler massage, and here was evidence that it can also be used to settle a restless child, quietly! If you think about how a back massage relaxes your own body, it certainly makes sense that you could use it to relax a child. Of course, the child will have to be one that will sit and enjoy the back massage, and it may not be fool proof, but hey - worth a try, don't you think? I'm definately going to remember that.

New Baby
I was totally THRILLED that Erik, Amber, Hailey and JAYDA were also in church on Sunday! I don't know what it is about Jayda, but every time I've seen a picture of her on Amber's blog I have been moved to tears. It was no different seeing her in real life in church yesterday. I guess maybe I just think it's so special that Amber, my friend since... well, almost since we were born, now has two daughters, sisters. I think it also just seemed like such a long wait for this little one, now that she is here and just so perfect... well, just another example of God's amazing miracle of life. Even Ryan said that she really is perfect. She doesn't have that "newborn" look to her, she is already so beautiful.

Exhaustion
This past week was basically one of the worst I've had in a long time. James just wasn't sleeping or napping regularly, and I was absolutely exhausted. In fact, I was tell-husband-to-pack-bags-and-leave exhausted. Yes, at one point during the middle of the night when James was crying I actually told my husband that he could pack his bags in the morning and leave. How bad is THAT?! I did apologize later, because I knew I was speaking out of anger, frustration and pure lack of sleep. I'm so thankful that my husband has thick skin in situations like that. He did forgive me, and we are still together. (wink, wink) Some nights like that I just lose all control over my tongue, and I lash out at anything within hearing range - because I certainly can't lash out at James. The word exhausted has a whole new meaning to me now. The books are sure right when they say you won't know exhaustion until you are a parent.

New Scheduling
The worst night was Friday, when James was up every hour from 8:30pm until 2:30am. When he finally fell asleep, he woke up at 6:30am, and didn't nap more than an hour for the rest of the day. (insert scream and hair-pulling here) I was flipping out! What was going on? I prayed, and prayed just for enough energy to pull me through. Saturday evening we went to a local restaurant for supper with Ryan's parents. Due to the rain, and the fact that it was buffet night, the place was packed and we had to wait a long time for food. I was getting nervous about how James would handle it. At 7:00pm the place had pretty much cleared out, and I was walked around with James resting on my shoulder. He was out like a light by about 7:15, and stayed asleep while we put him in his carseat and took him home. When we got home, even though he was due to eat, we just put him in his room in his carseat. He slept until 10:30pm, and seeing as we were still awake, it didn't bother us one bit to go and feed him as usual and then put him in his crib. He slept until 3:00am and I went in to feed him again. He then slept until 7:00am, but stayed happy in his crib until 7:30am! WOW! We were stoked. He then napped in the morning before church from 9:00am to 10:00am (we had to wake him to get ready for church). He then napped from 1:00pm - 3:00pm. He was happy and content all evening, and we decided we would put him to bed last night at 7:30pm again. This is an hour earlier than usual. He went down fine, although he woke up at 8:30 and complained for some reason, so I had to do the pick up/put down thing. It worked the first try. Then last night was much more like his usual pattern, the one that we liked! He was up at 11:30, got fed, up at 3:30 and got fed and then up at around 6:30 - but happy to be in his crib until about 7:00. All in all, I think this new schedule is going to work out fine. Of course, I'm not crossing my fingers on this yet - you just never know, tonight may be a whole new story!

Encouraging Words
Even though James went down fine last night, I still broke down (still tired I think) after he was asleep. Somedays I just wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I wonder if he will turn out okay, and if he is truly happy. My husband did the perfect thing for me at that point. He just wrapped me in his arms, and told me how great a mom I was, and that he loved me and that James loves me. He told me how much he appreciates all I do, and he told me that it is evident by looking at James that he well taken care of, healthy, and content. It felt so great to be told that from my husband. So often I feel like no one notices how hard I work to try and be a good mom, so when it does finally get mentioned it renews my strength and my will to go on like nothing else could.

Bible Reading
Our Bible Study group is taking the book "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. We are really enjoying it a lot. The book has challenged me to think about being more knowledeable of the Word. I decided it was time to read through my Bible in a year. There is a schedule for that in the back of my Bible, so I have been doing that for about a week now. I currently have three days of catch-up reading to do, and I should be doing that NOW instead of blogging - but hopefully I will do it right after this. It already makes me feel better knowing that I am reading the Word daily, and filling my mind with it. I would highly encourage you to do the same thing. It feels so good. The idea is that by knowing the Word, you can use it to protect yourself from lies that the devil may try to tell you. The devil has been trying to convince me that I am not a good mother, and a terrible wife and friend, so I am going to surround myself with the Word, and watch as the devil flees from it.

Conclusion
Well, if you made it this far, I commend you! I guess I had a lot on my mind this weekend, and I just had to get it all out. I hope you have a blessed week!

World's Best Neigbours

You know you have the World's Best Neighbours when...

... you can call there anytime, and feel better when you hang up.

... you have children within 6 months of each other, and you know they'll be friends.

... you can go over there crying, and you get a free lunch.

... you know their garage door security code.

... they know where your spare house key is hidden.

... you know they would gladly lend an egg, or an extra cup of sugar.

... they let you plant things in their beautiful garden.

... you look out your kitchen window, and there are TWO mowers working on the lawn!

... this list could be filled with many, many more items, but I have to quit here.

Time to Vent

So I took a little break from posting about all my baby problems, but after reading a few other blogs today I realized that I am definately NOT alone. The big issue: James just doesn't sleep long. It's not that he doesn't sleep - he just doesn't stay asleep for long periods of time. The longest he'll sleep now at night is about 4 hours. That's not too bad - but that is the LONGEST, and it doesn't happen every night. I feel like I am at my wits end, but I just can't let him cry it out. I've tried that, and his whining escalates and escalates until he is totally wailing and then he is nearly impossible to get back to sleep in reasonable time. It's much easier on all of us to just feed him (if it's been at least 4 hours since previous bottle), or rock him (if it is less than 4 hours since previous bottle). At least if we do that we get to sleep for those precious few hours in between. I thought that once he was on solids he would do better, but that isn't the issue. He seems to be waking up with gas. We give him Ovol at each nighttime feeding, and that doesn't seem to be helping. We also try to burp him, but sometimes he is so sleepy that he just falls asleep - and doesn't burp. I guess we could try a different formula, but I wouldn't know where to begin with that. I have also been told to try different bottles (we are using Avent ones now), but it would be SO expensive to switch. I don't know what to do, I just know that I really don't enjoy being up so much at night. My hubby helps out, which is SO wonderful - but even when he goes in to take care of James, I am still awake - just in case I'm needed. I just keep thinking, when will I have that glorious moment of waking up to find that it's morning?! Otherwise, James is a great baby. He has been napping pretty well, especially since I started using Hyland's Teething Tablets. He naps 1 1/2 - 2 hours in the morning, and then again in the afternoon. Sometimes the naps are shorter, but that is the usual. However, if I even lay down for a second while he napping he will wake up within 5 minutes. I'm NOT kidding. That kid can sense when I am taking a break! I am literally afraid to lay down when he is napping, because it will cut his nap short. Isn't that weird? So I can't even nap when he is napping. Anyway, I just thought I'd blog about this so that some of you other moms would know that I'm in the same sleepless boat as you are!

Half a Year

Wow! Has it already been half a year since we were coming home from the hospital with a newborn? Somedays feel like it was yesterday, and other days feels like I've been doing this (being a mom) forever. I can't imagine life without James - he is my sunshine, my laughter, my entertainment, my SON. It would be difficult to make a list of great things about him, because I truly think he is outstandingly brilliant in every way. He is cute, smart, content, funny, happy, and getting more and more curious about life around him. My favourite times are after his naps, when he cuddles in my arms with his head on my shoulder. I also love it when I look at him, and he is staring at me and smiling. The last six months have been the hardest, the happiest, the most challenging, and the most rewarding. I have cried often, laughed harder, worried more, and thanked God daily. I have had to learn to "lean not on my own understanding", and try to rely on my God-given mother's intuition. If I had to give a new, or future mom a word of advice I would tell them not to read BOOKS! Just try and do as much as you can without others telling you what to do, and how to do it, and when. God will help you out - but sometimes it's hard to remember to rely on Him. He does care, even about how to treat a diaper rash, or how to get more sleep. I really appreciate all of your continued prayers, and readership. It is nice to know that I have a little Blogger army standing behind me in the battle for the Quest Through Motherhood. God bless you all dearly. I love you!

P.S. My plans for the Blogger Brunch fell through, but I am still in the planning mode.

Tagged

What would happen if I didn't blog...

1] I would be in bed earlier!
2] I'd have to look at books or call my mom for baby advice.
3] I wouldn't know all of YOU!
4] I would be cleaning my house.
5] I wouldn't be destined to need glasses soon.
6] I would be reading.
7] I would be taking a bath.
8] I would be a little bit bored when James naps.
9] I wouldn't worry that James isn't sleeping through the night.
10] I wouldn't have a cool way to share pics with distant friends and family.

I choose not to tag anyone - but if you want to do it, go ahead.

Big Boy

Having a great 'ol time!

First Mother's Day

Happy (somewhat belated) Mother's Day to all you mothers, soon-to-be mothers, future mothers, friends of mothers, etc, etc! I hope you had a good one.

We celebrated Mother's Day with a bit of a sleep-in after a HORRIBLE night with James. I'm not even going to talk about it, it was just that bad. We went to church, and Ryan's uncle Stan took care of James during the service - so we were free to actually listen to the sermon (which was quite good too). We then came home, got James packed up and took him to my parent's place while we took off to the city to go to the mall and for a little drive. We then met up with them, and my grandma for supper at a little Japanese Sushi & Buffet restaurant. All in all it was a good day. James wrote me a letter (it was very cute), my dad gave me a really cool plant, and Ryan gave me coupons for various things like back massages (from him), a family picnic, etc. It was very special to be honored in that way. I think I am really going to like Mother's Day in a long run.

In other news, James is basically sitting on his own! In the photo he has the Boppy for support - but that is more or less to cushion his occassional tumbles. He is doing really good with it though, and appears to be very proud of himself. He is also teething like crazy! This kid can soak a shirt in drool in two minutes flat! He pretty much slimes everything and everyone he touches. Not to mention the chewing! He chews everything right now, even the edge of his highchair when he can. I am just waiting now to see some teeth popping through. He's creeping up to that 6 month mark now at high speed - I can't believe it's almost been half a year! No one told me it was going to fly by at warp speed - they just said it goes by fast.