Well, I wish I had some great news to report - but I don't. Sleep is still not something that anyone seems to be getting around here. My little plan worked for two nights, and then James caught on and now he just cries and cries until he gets fed. My hubby isn't a big fan of me always asking for advice on my blog, but here is my question... should we just suck it up, and say, "Alright, so James eats 3-4 times at night, big deal"? Or should I/we be taking continued steps to finding out if there is something that we can do to help him sleep longer? The consensus about "sleeping through the night" seems to be about 50/50. Some say their babies slept through the night at this age, others say not to even think about it until he is a year old. All I know is that I'm a mommy who needs sleep, and I'm not getting it - and the anger gets vented at everyone around me. I feel like I have a million questions, and naturally, no one can answer them because "all babies are different". Is he uncomfortable at night? Too hot? Itchy? Is it the formula? Should I try soy? Seriously, my brain hurts. I'm still thinking maybe I need to get back on the anti-depressants, as it would seem that all these "problems" started shortly after I went off of them. *sigh* I just want to be a happy mommy for James!
Monday, March 19
Wish It Was Good News
Well, I wish I had some great news to report - but I don't. Sleep is still not something that anyone seems to be getting around here. My little plan worked for two nights, and then James caught on and now he just cries and cries until he gets fed. My hubby isn't a big fan of me always asking for advice on my blog, but here is my question... should we just suck it up, and say, "Alright, so James eats 3-4 times at night, big deal"? Or should I/we be taking continued steps to finding out if there is something that we can do to help him sleep longer? The consensus about "sleeping through the night" seems to be about 50/50. Some say their babies slept through the night at this age, others say not to even think about it until he is a year old. All I know is that I'm a mommy who needs sleep, and I'm not getting it - and the anger gets vented at everyone around me. I feel like I have a million questions, and naturally, no one can answer them because "all babies are different". Is he uncomfortable at night? Too hot? Itchy? Is it the formula? Should I try soy? Seriously, my brain hurts. I'm still thinking maybe I need to get back on the anti-depressants, as it would seem that all these "problems" started shortly after I went off of them. *sigh* I just want to be a happy mommy for James!
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13 comments :
Sorry sweetie. My advice is still the "All babies are different" bit that drives us all crazy. Sam is almost a year and he still doesn't sleep through the night. I know that isn't encouraging, but I think sometimes there really is no good answer. Things got easier for me when I had to stop nursing (the thrush got to unbearably painful) and he went on formula. He still woke up all the time, but at least with formula Glen and I could take turns getting up with him. That helped a lot. And the swing. That's all I can tell you except I'm praying for you and your little man.
too painful. Proofread Becky!
Hey Heather...sorry to hear that the plan only worked for 2 nights! Sigh. Is James having any trouble with gas at all...like does he look like he's pushing, or arching his back and stuff? Because that's what my little guys problem is at night sometimes...he will wake up 3-4 times and the only way to get him back to sleep often is to feed him! Does James go right back to bed after you feed him, or does he stay up longer? Tate, my boy, usually goes right back to bed after I feed him, but NOT always! And I definitely know how you feel with the sleep deprivation!! Anyways, I don't really have any other advice for you...but maybe he is waking up because he has gas, or a sore tummy (if he's acting like it?) Because I know that Tate slept like a charm for the 1st 3 months and then all of a sudden he started waking up all the time...usually because of gas/sore tummy...but sometimes I am stumped too as to why he wakes up now, especially when he doesn't seem to have gas! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers though!
I know all this analyzing gets exhausting! I had a chart with Micah and I would list everything that we did that night and then report how he slept. I wrote every detail - right down to whether or not he wore little mitties at night (maybe he scratched himself awake! - ha ha). I never really discovered much but I found that bath nights seemed to be slightly better as well as him being swaddled and warm.
With Keziah it's a little frustrating to see how she's regressed but I figure if I have to get up with her twice right now, then so be it. BUT if she was getting up 3-4 times like James, I would probably be asking myself the same questions - do I just feed her or try some other means of getting her to sleep? I'm guessing James probably doesn't NEED to eat that often especially if you've started solids. I'm not sure how you feel about letting him cry it out a bit - maybe go in every couple of minutes and stick his soother in, rub his head, etc. It could take a few nights of LESS sleep but maybe would make for a long-term solution. My sister's pediatrician told her that babies don't need to eat in the night after 6 months so she let her first baby cry and it worked. Her next baby (a boy) would scream for hours at night and she just ended up feeding him until he was close to a year. It could be that he was actually hungry - or maybe he was just that much more strong-willed! It's hard when we can't read their little minds!
There could be something to the anti-depressants. I know when I'm feeling moody all the little problems seem really magnified... Would you consider going on them again or are you trying to avoid it?
Oh and you asked about Keziah rolling - she hasn't yet. I checked Micah's calendar and he rolled over (tummy to back) at about 3 months & 1 week. So Keziah's already behind him in that. She arches her back to the side when she's on her tummy, but it seems like her arms still get in the way.
Anyway, that's enough of an essay for now. I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of ((hugs))!
Annika HAD been sleeping through the night the last month or so, but now that she's teething she's up at least once or twice in the night...I don't know if you like nursing laying down, but I just bring Annika into bed with me and let her nurse herself to sleep when those nights happen. At least then I know I'm comforting her, AND I can be lying down...I totally agree with Becky, "all babies are different..." So although you're getting so many people's advice, don't fret if it doesn't work for your little guy. Babies are stinkin' hard work!!
Welcome to the world of motherhood! You're no the only one to go thru it and it too shall pass. That is the life of a mom. Gracie
I think it's still totally normal and expected for a baby so young to get up at night to eat. Their little tummies are so small and can't hold very much food to last them for long periods of time. I guess some babies are just heavier sleepers and can sleep through the hunger pangs. In all of the books I've read, it says only between 6-9 months is the regular time for most babies to sleep an 8 hour period or so, and even then they can be unpredictable. I think the best advice I was given was not to focus on what you feel your baby SHOULD be doing but try rather to adjust yourself to what they ARE doing and how you can best care for them and meet their needs. I know it's hard to relax - especially when you're not getting enough sleep. I had many nights where I got very frustrated and wondered what I was doing wrong. Whoever made up the phrase "sleeps like a baby" obviously never had one!!
hmmm.....I'm kind of floating between agreeing with Jamie, that James probably doesn't NEED to eat, and Brandi, and how we need to adjust to what our babies are doing.
I don't know, what anonymous said is quite black and white. I seem to think that if your babe is doing something that is just not working with you, then we as mother's can usually do something about it, after all, we are supposed to be the boss of them, not them to us, although many parents out there obey their kids!?? (It's not like you're trying to starve him, you just want a little more sleep!)
Most of what babies do, they do because that's what they have been taught or trained to do. SO when we come rushing to them in the middle of the night 3-4 times a night to feed them, it's usually because they've been taught that they can wake up and be fed. On the other hand, maybe he is really hungry. PRAY ABOUT IT WITH YOUR HUSBAND, and let the Holy Spirit tell you what to do. We can give you all the silly answers in the world, but only God can give you the answers you need. He cares about all these details of James life, and all the details of your parenting, even something as simple as middle of the night feedings. Also, a real good book that I recommend is The Power Of A Praying Parent. There are some awesome foundational truths in there that every parent should know. Your prayers over James are more powerful than anyone else on this earth!!
Hi Heather, you asked "is it the formula"...
As a formula feeding mom, I can tell you that my little guy went through 4 different kinds before we found one that worked for him. That, from what I've heard, is completely normal... although unless you know something is absolutely wrong, to NOT swtich them constantly as that is harsh on their tummies.
I know he's not "plugged up"... but is his formula iron fortified? My little guy can't handle that... and not cause it plugs him up... it just upsets his tummy. He cried and cried while he was on an iron fortified. I switched to Enfamil Lower Iron (which still has iron in it) and he was 100 times better. Even I (nor my mom) cant' handle iron... makes me nauseaus.
Although with all that said, don't know how that would effect him up to feed 3-4 times... unless, like you said, he doesn't need to eat!
My baby's no where close to sleeping through a whole night... I'm not too worried about it either... I've also been told not to pay attention till 6-9 months although your frustration is probably more that you seem to be "backpeddling", hey?
Hang in there.
I am definately one who needs her sleep. When my third girl was born I needed to care for baby, get one up and ready for school, and run a small business. There is no way I could do this without sleep. So hence the do what works for you at the time speil. My husband was totally in charge of the two older girls during the night. We rarely slept together because I had a new roommate. The baby woke up several times during the night. She slept with me and I breastfed her while laying down. When she would wake up 2 hours later I would simply move her to the other side of the bed and feed her the other breast. Everytime this happened I would snooze threw most of it and so did baby. When I look back I was very fortunate to have a husband that did not complain during this phsychotic time. It was short lived and it worked for us however I am glad to have things straightened out and my old roommate back and a little girl who sleeps in her own room. Heather this is extreme but maybe it is something you would want to try once in a while to get a good sleep in. Take care of yourself!
Hi Heather,
I am a lurker (mother in law of another blogger). I sometimes browse the blogs of new parents to "keep in touch" with what is going on in their lives, because I am one of those "lactation consultants and a health nurse". I was so sorry to hear about the negative experiences that some of the mothers had with those that were supposed to be able to help them. All I can say is that whenever we seek help from someone and it does not work out, it does not mean that "they are like that".
One of your bloggers mentioned sleeping with your baby. I also came to that conclusion with my third baby. In order for me and the rest of the household to get some sleep, it just worked better for that period of time.
As far as the whole breast vs. formula discussion, I believe that you are a mother first. And it does not have to be breast or formula, it can be a combination.
I noticed that your baby is 3-4 months old. Has anyone mentioned to you that a breastfeeding mother's progestone levels drop at about 3 months? This hormone is what keeps up milk supply in the first months. After that, it is the babe's good latch that keeps up the milk supply. What I have sometimes seen is that when a baby has not had a deep latch (that is, baby is pulling the milk out and not just relying on milk from the letdown), the milk supply drops at about 3 months. There is medication you can take (domperidone)which is a prescription, which increases milk supply.
Sorry, I did not intend for this to be so long. If you want to talk to me on the phone or my email (I do not have a blog, let me know your email) I will check your blog.
Take care, and God bless!
Correction - I just read my blog. I meant to say "they are not all like that". I guess what I was trying to say is that we are not all "nipple nazis". I think that sometimes when a professional is unable to help someone, they blame the person, instead of acknowledging their own inability to help them. I also believe that before any advice can be received, we need to have an attitude of honoring and respecting each individual mother, and to "mother the mother" first.
Hi Heather. You don't know me but I love to read your blog. I found it through Amber's blog. I have a 13month old son, and he was up eating 3-4 times a night until he was probably 7 months old! I know that doesn't sound very encouraging! When he was really little I knew it was b/c he was hungry, but as he got older, it was more of a comfort thing. He didn't start sleeping through the night until he was around 8 1/2 months old, after I weaned him.
Just know that you are not alone and that every mother feels what you are feeling! I know I did! I does get better and then you look back and think, "it wasn't that bad!"
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