I'm exhausted, which is likely why I can't seem to keep from crying today. Last night was just... useless. I wish James was like a car - we could just take him in to the "shop", plug him in and a computer would tell us what was "mechanically incorrect". He went to sleep at my parent's place WAY too early, just before 7:00pm and we let him sleep until 9:00pm when we left. He fell asleep in his carseat again, so we just put him in his room for the night. He woke up at 12:00am very angry, and he didn't nurse well. The rest of the night is a blur, I was up crying, my husband rocked James for hours, it just SUCKED. Honestly, I can almost understand why some babies end up with Shaken Baby Syndrome after a night like that. So, this morning I opted for the suppositories, thinking it was merely constipation. He pooped almost instantly, but it really wasn't very hard. I would describe it much like soft ice cream from the machine. Anyway, he had a few more smaller poops, and then that was it. Today he is back to nursing badly, on and off, on and off, and unhappy and crying at the breast. He is happy if I just give him his soother! Is this teething? My milk supply seems low too - I tried pumping, and got a piddly 1.5 ounces after pumping both sides, and I do think I had a let-down. HELP ME! I just can't think anymore, and I feel so stupid that I can't help him sleep better. He has napped well this afternoon, so I did get a little rest. We'll see what tonight holds. It can ONLY be better than last night. I think we might try putting him in his carseat to sleep. I don't like that idea at all, but it's better than no sleep. If you have any insight, please share... otherwise, please keep us in your prayers as I try to keep my sanity, and figure out my "weirdo" son!!! Sorry for the vent, again, but until the nights get better I think I'm just going to be moody.
Monday, March 12
In Tears
I'm exhausted, which is likely why I can't seem to keep from crying today. Last night was just... useless. I wish James was like a car - we could just take him in to the "shop", plug him in and a computer would tell us what was "mechanically incorrect". He went to sleep at my parent's place WAY too early, just before 7:00pm and we let him sleep until 9:00pm when we left. He fell asleep in his carseat again, so we just put him in his room for the night. He woke up at 12:00am very angry, and he didn't nurse well. The rest of the night is a blur, I was up crying, my husband rocked James for hours, it just SUCKED. Honestly, I can almost understand why some babies end up with Shaken Baby Syndrome after a night like that. So, this morning I opted for the suppositories, thinking it was merely constipation. He pooped almost instantly, but it really wasn't very hard. I would describe it much like soft ice cream from the machine. Anyway, he had a few more smaller poops, and then that was it. Today he is back to nursing badly, on and off, on and off, and unhappy and crying at the breast. He is happy if I just give him his soother! Is this teething? My milk supply seems low too - I tried pumping, and got a piddly 1.5 ounces after pumping both sides, and I do think I had a let-down. HELP ME! I just can't think anymore, and I feel so stupid that I can't help him sleep better. He has napped well this afternoon, so I did get a little rest. We'll see what tonight holds. It can ONLY be better than last night. I think we might try putting him in his carseat to sleep. I don't like that idea at all, but it's better than no sleep. If you have any insight, please share... otherwise, please keep us in your prayers as I try to keep my sanity, and figure out my "weirdo" son!!! Sorry for the vent, again, but until the nights get better I think I'm just going to be moody.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(
Atom
)
20 comments :
Is it possible that James may have thrush? Or do you drink a lot of milk products? He may be allergic to milk. My friend switched to soy formula for her boy and has had better nights and better everything ever since.
Yes. What does his tongue look like? Sam and Ben both had thrush and the classic white tongues were the first signs.
Also. Not to freak you out. Don't freak out. I read or heard some story on the news about a baby that stopped breathing on a long trip in his/her carseat. Apparently, sleeping upright was the problem? (Which seems weird to me... How could that make it harder for him/her to breathe? Sam slept upright on us for like the first two months. It was the only way he would sleep. ON someone...) Anyways, don't freak out though. I let my babies sleep in their carseats all the time, I just kept a close eye on them.
How about a swing? Do you have one? I had this great fisher price one that swung both ways (side to side and front to back) and the boys loved it. The reason I recommend the one that swings both ways is that sometimes only one way would work for them. Don't ask why. We've already established that babies are weird. All I know is that in the swing they would frequently sleep five hours at a time. Yes. We spent a fortune on batteries, but it was worth every stinkin' cent. They loved that thing cranked to the max, lighted mobile going, music going, sucking the power from the batteries faster than you can imagine... But I got to sleep for five hour stretches.
My friend's baby was lactose intolerant and they did a test to find out. When they switched him to soy formula or something it made a big difference... Has James been tested for that?
I'm just throwing out ideas though. Of course I have no real idea. Just things you could try.
Also, Heather, I know exactly how you are feeling. Before I had babies I couldn't understand shaken baby syndrome. How could ANYONE shake a tiny helpless baby? Sheesh. I've been very close to that myself and said on many occasions, "I SO get how a mom could end up feeling so tense and frustrated and tired and overwhelmed that you just want to shake the kid till he stops screaming at you". At times like these I would take my baby and put him in his crib and close the door. Much better that he cries alone, safe, than continues to frustrate me. I usually found that just a few minutes away was all I needed to calm down and tell myself that he couldn't help it and that my anger was only making the situation worse, but if it had taken longer it still would have been better for him to be in his crib alone. I just want you to know... I've been there. I know how horrible it can feel to be so angry with your precious innocent baby that you want to shake him. I'm actually so thankful that I wasn't a mom when they didn't know about shaken baby syndrome... I wonder if I would have shaken my baby if I didn't know how dangerous it is? Anyways... You are not a bad mom for feeling that way, you are not abnormal, you WILL make it through, it absolutely WILL get better sooner than you think. I promise.
I wish I was nearby and I could come and take care of him so you could have a nap or a bubble bath or just sit there and someone else could hold him while he fusses, I had a few friends from my church do that for me on a couple afternoons and it made a big difference to know I wasn't all alone... And yes, God is there, your husband is there, but it is still so easy to feel all alone when you are taking care of a newborn... I feel for you.
(((BIG HUGS)))
Don't feel bad for trying to get him to sleep in his carseat....sometimes it gets to the desperate point (at least it does for us!!) and you just gotta try SOMETHING! For a while when Hailey was really little she slept in her swing for nights on end (gasp! bad, I know....but it didn't harm her and we could wean her off the swing eventually, but it was the ONLY thing that seemed to work for that time) Ya, it's hard when you know you are "creating bad habits" and obviously the ideal situation would be them sleeping in their crib, but we all know that most of the time the ideal situation doesn't work out! So don't feel bad! Experiment and find what ever you need to do to get some zzzz's - for all 3 of you!
I may get nasty comments from other mommies for approving your car seat idea- but come on. Sometimes you just get desperate! And things we have tried out of desperation usually end up working for a short period of time. Long enough at least for you to get your sanity back, regroup and try other "proper" methods of getting your baby to sleep.
Heather, hang in there - take it one night at a time. That's what I have to tell myself too, as Hailey continues to stump us on & off, even at 2 years old. (that's not meant to discourage you, it's meant to let you know that I feel right along with you!)
Big hugs to you in your sleepless state. I am with the other moms with the swing idea. Maybe the swing didn't work the first couple of months but I found at about 3 months my kids started to like it. Dakota camped out in her swing for a very long stretch. I started to wonder whether she was capable of sleeping without motion. I agree too that I should have invested in Duracell stocks. I don't know how stable James's head is but you can put the headhugger from the carseat in the swing to keep their head straight and I reclined it as far down as possible. I am glad that you are starting to get that you do what you have to do to get by. Before you know it you will be breastfeeding while riding a bike and pulling 2 more in the bike trailer. HaHa!
I don't have any helpful advice but I will be praying for you tonight. I know what those nights are like. And there have been times that I understand why people shake babies too. It might be a milk allergy. I had a friend whose baby had similar difficulties and once she put him on soy formula he got a lot better. Have you talked to your pediatrician? I would definitely give them a call too.
i am with you and praying for you.. my first thought was the thrush too..we went through it and it makes BF hard...you do what you have to do to get sleep... and stay sane.. oh man i feel you so much. somedays all i could do was just put the boys in there crib for them to scream.. they were safer that way. you are in my thoughts..
We let Rowan sleep in his carseat a lot when he was little too. We would rock him and swing him and bounce him forever it seemed... I'd rather just forget those moments!
Do you swaddle James? You could always try that. I know on Drea's blog she talked about ribbon swadling, which apparantly her baby really loves. I know Rowan never liked being swaddled, but he still liked to feel secure. We used the headhugger in his bed to help him feel more secure, and it seemed to help.
Hang in there! I remember feeling so jealous of all the moms whose babies would sleep and nurse well. Rowan took til 7 months to finally sleep through the night, so I understand the getting up every three hours thing. NOT FUN!
My first thought was also thrush...I thought for a while with Preston that he had that, but it ended up being something else minor. I think I would have to lean more towards the milk allergy thing as well. It could be that if you love dairy so much and he's alergic than that's what's making him so fussy when nursing.
For sleeping...how do you lay him? They say this and that about babies need to sleep on their back or their sides, but to be honest with you Preston slept WAY better when we started laying him on his tummy to sleep. I started out just doing it at his naps during the day, so I could check on him now and then...after I realized he was fine then we did it at night. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but Preston was sleeping through the nite at 8 weeks and he never woke up more than once a nite before that, so I don't know exactly what it's like to have sleepless nites that long. But I have also gone through teething stages, or being sick where then he'll wake up lots. Personally I have never been a fan of letting them sleep in the car seat when they're not in the car, but I guess I also haven't had an over 3 month old not sleeping through the nite.
My first instinct would be to try all the other options first before doing the swing or car seat, but you have to do what's best for your baby.
My biggest advice would be to pray about it. Maybe it is something so little, but you're just not thinking of it. God will tell you what the best thing for your child is. And if it is something that you're overlooking than He'll be able to bring it to your attention far faster than you could remember it! lol
Keep praying and don't get discouraged...God will bring you through this rough patch!
I've known a lot of people who had their babies in a carsear sleeping. They were okay. I think since the carseat isn't in the base, and it's not quite so upright, you don't need to have too many fears about that.
Have you tried putting him on his tummy to sleep? I know back is best, but with Zach, that was the only way he would sleep for any decent amount of time. He was around 3 months old at the time. We had the motion monitor so I felt better about doing that with him.
As for nursing - have you given him a bottle to see what he does? I'm just wondering if he does better with that. Also, you can't judge your supply by how much you pump. Pumping isn't the same as actually nursing. Apparently :)
I'm so not an expert on nursing but I'm thinking gassiness. My kids were never like that when teething. If they were hungry, they'd eat. He might just need to suck so that is why he's happy with the soother. Maybe try a little Tylenol before bed to see if that helps if it's teething pain.
Good luck! I so know what it's like. I had 3 night with Zach not sleeping at all. I reclined on the couch with him and maybe got 3 hours sleep between the 3 nights. We figured out later it was probably from switching him from the bassinette to the crib. We origianlly though colic. Maybe James has that? I know it's usually only in the evening though but you could look into it.
I know i went through a stage where Taeya was not nursing well at all and my milk supply was low (i pumped a really small amount too), and I wanted to give up. But the most simplest thing made a difference to me: i increased how much water i was drinking. Honest to goodness, if I was not having at LEAST 8 glasses of water a day, my milk supply was affected. you may drink lots of water, which would blow my theory to pooh, but it worked for me.
Oh, and i had to cut out spicy foods, beans, cabbage (not that I eat it anyway).
I am glad I stuck through it in that really trying period though. I thought my milk was getting too low, so i was supplementing her with formula, but that just ruined my milk supply even more! So i cut her off formula completely, and gave her boob only. The first few times she wasn't very interested, but when she realized that was her only option, she picked it up again and things really improved.
The other thing is...try to relax. I know that may sound weird, but the more uptight i am about a feeding (ie, if she is super cranky and i dont' think she'll nurse), she can TOTALLY sense it, and she'll get more frustrated, i won't get let down, and that's the end of that feeding!
Well, whatever it is that's causing him to be like this, i hope it ends very soon!
Hi Heather,
I found your blog through Erica's and have been lurking! Hope you don't mind... Thought I'd leave a comment as I am a brand new mom to a son born Jan 10 and I had one of those days too!
My little guy is formula fed (I breastfed for 4 wks, got mastitis (not fun) and gave up!). His poop is always the consistency of peanut butter or soft ice cream. He goes every 24-48 hrs... I have been told this is completely normal. he just "stopped" pooping one day and that was when I was weaning so he only had about 1 bottle or maybe 2 a day at that time. Then, he just went a couple days later. And he's fine.... I was completely freaked out and upset too! Because it just all of the sudden happened... he went form numerous a day to none a day!
Other thing I've been told (didnt' work for me though) is that soy formula is easier on tummies and easier to digest. I know people who when they stopped nursing, used a cows milk based formula then just switched to soy to try it and it worked like a charm. Doesn't mean they have a problem w/ cows milk... its just easier on them. Their kids had no problem swithcing to regular milk when they could start drinking it and not formula around 1 yr.
I find your blog so helpful... I have my days where I swear I'm the only mom going through issues! Thank you for your openness and honesty.
first things first... look up La Leche League, and get them to help you find a lactation consultant in your area. she will tell you if there's thrush, a latch problem, etc.
then, ditch all bottles, formula, soothers and solid foods. get into bed with your baby for the next 3-4 days, with as much skin to skin contact as possible, and just get rested, and nurse on demand (don't look at the clock, just nurse whenever he seems to want it). babies often sleep much, much better next to their mothers, and this will also increase your milk supply.
the more formula you supplement with, the more your breast milk supply goes down. drink lots of water, and nurse as much as possible to bring up your supply.
remove dairy from your diet.. i know it will be hard, but really, really try. it's often the root of eczema issues. i know it's awful.. my son had bad eczema when he was young too. part of the bad sleeping may also be due to itchiness. giving him children's antihistamine meds may temporarily help stop itchiness (check with doc), but you do need to address the source.
finally, visit www.mothering.com/discussions .. they have both a Life with an Infant and Breastfeeding Boards, both of which may help you. There's also a Health and Healing board that you may find useful eczema info on.
it feels like FOREVER ago since Kamryn was a baby. so i have no great advice...
as you've heard 10000's times...i'll just say it again in hopes that it gives you SOME kind of comfort.
IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs my dear. i love ya.
HI Heather,
Just curious...have you gotten your period back since having James? My mom said that some babies don't like the taste of their mother's milk when their mom's are ovulating. PLUS it really sounds like he's teething. You can get great tablets for teething at a health food store...they're completely natural and it doesn't feel like you're drugging your baby all the time (even though sometimes I do just so my baby sleeps), but these tablets are simply called Teething Tablets. And they dissolve instantly...they REALLY help Annika to quit fussing because of her teeth. I know how you feel, Heather. Some nights I just cry...and thats okay. Some nights I just let Annika cry for a few minutes too so I can just calm myself down before I tend to her. And I will echo many of the bloggers comments on the swing and carseat...I'll bring Annika's swing into our room on bad nights to let her sleep...at least she'll give us a couple hours of rest that way. At this point you just need to surrvive, so do whatever it is that works. Experiment with several different things to see what James likes best...I hope you can get a nap or something in today. You've gotten a lot of comments and suggestions today, but know that if these suggestions don't work for you its not the end of the world (even though it feels like it)! Mothering is tough, and sometimes we just have to call someone up and say, "please come over and hold my baby!!!" I would if I wasn't dealing with my own baby... :) Praying for you.
Just some reassuring news. I just got back from a group that I go to, where we had a public health nurse talking about babies and food allergies. (There were also two nutritionists there) Anyway, she said that less than 2% of the time can a baby be lactose intollerant, or have a milk allery. She said almost all of the time it is something that the mother is eating that is causing the problem for the baby. So, start experimenting! I know Rowan couldn't handle tomatoes, onions, pineapple, chocolate, and the list could go on and on. I felt like I was depriving myself so often, but he grew out of that within a few months, and then he was fine!
Whoever annonymous is, I think she gave great advice.
I agree. I'm with annonymous. It would be worth a try if you could get the nursing going really well... It's so much easier than trying to feed such a little baby solids...
But if you are going to feed him stuff I have a little tip... When Sam was 5 months we started him on some solids (rice cereal) and he still had a lot of trouble with his tongue pushing the food back out. We got a syringe (for free) from the drugstore (the kind you use to give them medicine) and used that to squirt the food in. It worked great. Sometimes when Sam is being a pain I still use it cause it is so much tidier. He can swat at it, or grab it, or fling it across the room and there's no mess. Works great. But of course, we did that at five months... I'm not sure what you should do with little James.
Also, MAN does he ever look cute in those pictures! What a sweetie pie!
wow Heather, you've got quite the advice column going on here! I think a lot of it is great, and some of it.....meh. ;)
I pray that the Holy Spirit would minister to you as you sift through it. Keep on praying, He loves it when we come to Him with our greatest needs. "And God is able to make ALL grace abound to you, so that in ALL things at ALL times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
hey, just a short comment, when Kalia had thrush, there was no white in her mouth (she showed only the other signs) so I couldn't know until the doctor swabbed her.
i thought that the horrid close-up I emailed you would solve everything! Can we just pig out on icy squares and laugh all this confusion away!? I miss you and love you.
I realize that everyone is genuinely trying to be supportive and helpful by offering suggestions and diagnosing 29 possible things that are wrong with James or your approach...but seriously, I'm just shaking my head here. My hunch is that:
A) You're not doing anything wrong.
B)There's nothing wrong with James.
Babies eat oddly at times, and most sleep badly -- at least the real-life ones I know (not the mythical ones who eat and sleep perfectly). It sucks, but it's so normal, and ups and downs will continue to be your reality...probably for years.
By all means, keep trying different sleep/eating strategies in the spirit of experimentation and curiosity, but maybe it will help more to simply accept that babies are terrible, terrible roommates. Thank goodness they're so cute. Have a big, big glass of wine and try to relax...if crying and/or laughing helps, that's all good too.
Post a Comment