Sick Babes

James seems to be getting a little better already - thank goodness! He is supposed to go for his 4 month immunization shots next week, and I don't think they give them the shots if they are sick. Anyway, we have continued to give him the Infant Dimetapp drops before bed (they are just for the congestion, not for cough), and we've been putting him to sleep in his rocking chair as it is a good way to keep him reclined instead of flat on his back. We've kept the humidfier running in his room all day and night, and other than that - we've just been making sure he stays hydrated, as he only eats a little at a time. Otherwise, he has been his happy, active self with just a little more fussiness than usual. Here he is, watching TV with daddy last night... (not a regular habit).

Two Firsts

James had two 'firsts' last night. He had his first night with a cold. I feel so bad for him, he is completely congested, coughing, sneezing, and a little pukey. Both Ryan and I have had this same cold, so it's no wonder he got it. How can you prevent those little guys from getting your cold when you are holding them all the time - and basically sneezing and coughing over their heads all day?! In any case, he still slept okay - but I kept a close eye on him, made sure he had no fever, and gave him Infant Dimetapp Cold Drops and a little Tylenol. He is trying so hard to be a happy boy, but he is obviously under the weather. I have to watch him really close, because at his age I got Strep Throat but it went immediately into the Rubella stage.

James also had his first night with a lightning storm! We had rain, thunder and lightning for a good portion of the night last night. I always love the first lightning storm - but this one was quite early in the season. Again, James didn't seem to notice.

Here are some pictures of James 'helping' me wash the dishes yesterday. He actually sat in the Bumbo for almost 10 minutes without complaining.

Hand-Me-Down Kid

The Latest

So, the latest news is that James has weaned himself. He simply just refused the breast, which has caused my milk supply to plummet, and thus he is now a formula-fed baby. I am only a tiny bit disappointed, but honestly, I'm quite content. I now feel a lot more freedom, and we have been out and about a lot more. I am happier, James is happier, and daddy can help with the night feedings - so it's actually pretty great. He seems to like the Similac Advanced formula with Omega 3 & 6 - which I am using because I had a free sample of it, and 3 coupons worth $5 each. The last two cans I bought came with 2 free cans of the premade stuff, so that was a bonus.

James is now usually up for the day at about 7:30 or 8:00. He is awake a lot during the day, and is amiably described as a "spirited c hild". He likes activity - but is only entertained for a few minutes by each toy. This is fun, and yet exhausting. He isn't happy to just sit and watch me - he needs to be moving. This makes housework, cooking and baking and all those other things basically take a back-burner right now. He naps for about an hour from 11:30-12:30 and then is up until about 2:00 or 3:00 when he goes down for a 2-3 hour afternoon nap. He is then up until his bedtime, which sort of varies from day-to-day. Most days it ends up being around 8:30. He usually sleeps until about 12:30-1:30am, and then eats. He is then up consistantly every 3 hours to eat after that. Thankfully he usually goes down to sleep again without a fuss, so this schedule isn't TOO bad. We seem to be managing, and it's nice that daddy can take one of the nighttime feeding shifts.

Interesting fact: Since James has been on formula, the eczema seems to be clearing up! I usually try to give him a bit of my stockpile of breastmilk every-other-day as a sort of laxative, and on those days he seems to flare up. It will be interesting to see if he completely clears up after the breastmilk is all gone. He gets a little fruit now too, also to help keep him from getting constipated. He loves pears. He also gets a little rice or oat cereal which he also loves. None of the solids seem to help him sleep any longer though. We also upped his formula intake to 6 ounces, which he doesn't always finish, but it doesn't help him sleep any longer either. I guess he just likes to eat, and have our company in the night!

Bumbo

James is loving his new Bumbo seat - he is so proud of himself when he is sitting in it!

A New Mommy Blogger!

Welcome to Bloggerland Jeryn! Can't wait to read all about your adventures with Hayden (seen below, holding onto James' hand).

4 Months Old!

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

Happy four months Jamesy-babes! We love you!

Hit Upside the Head

Okay, so how many times does God have to literally smack me "upside the head" in order to finally surrender my problems to Him? Last night after putting James down to sleep (after a bath, a big 6 oz. bottle, no swaddling, and with his favourite blankie), I read my chapter for Bible Study in Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind". It was a completely perfect chapter, and basically I want to re-write it here for you to read. It was Chapter 4 I think, called "Little by Little". In a nutshell the book is about renewing your mind, and learning to think positively. The statement that stuck out most to me in this chapter was something like, God does not condemn us, even when we make mistakes. He does not want me to feel guilt, anger, failure, etc. I need to say to myself daily "I'm going to be fine - today will be a GREAT day". I put this phrase on a post-it note next to the microwave. I want to think this way every day, instead of getting all anxious about the "bad" day or "bad" night I'm about to experience. Needless to say this chapter was exactly what I needed to hear, and I spent a long time in prayer about it last night.

So, we put James down at 8:30pm and went to bed. At 11:45 he woke up, and we were about to go in to feed him when we realized he was making quiet happy sounds - not crying. We peeked into his room, and he was happily playing with his blankie! We crawled back into bed, giggling at his happy noises. Eventually, he fell back asleep until 1:30am! I went in to feed him, and he fell right back to sleep. He woke up next at 5:30am, and Ryan fed him. He woke up again at 8:00am, but was happily playing quietly in his crib until 9:00am! WOW! That was a great night, and today I feel 100% renewed - and ready to face the next week. All it takes is one good night, you know? James has been an extremely little happy camper all morning too. We had lunch at the local Café with my mother-in-law, and he was simply a little social butterfly. He's also gone down perfectly for his naps. Anyway, I'm going to try repeating the same pattern tonight, and see what happens. I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, however, I am going to THINK about tonight being a GREAT night. "I'm going to be fine - tonight will be a GREAT night..." Thanks Lord, for the hit upside the head. I needed that.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

James 1:5 (The Message)

Sick of Me Yet?

So, how sick of hearing about all my problems are you? I don't blame you, but I guess you have the freedom to choose whether or not you read this, so it's sort of your own problem. Tonight's game plan is this:

1. Give James a nice warm bath, and lube up with moisturizer.
2. Feed James a nice, big, warm 6 oz. bottle of formula (until today he was only getting 4 oz.).
3. Burp frequently to avoid tummy issues (I often wouldn't burp him once he fell asleep).
4. Put him down to sleep with just a small, thin blankie draped over him (no swaddling).
5. PRAY for him - I often forget to do this in regards to his sleeping.
6. Hope for the best... but try to accept the fact that he may eat every 3 hours all night, and not expect anything more or less... okay, maybe less.

Will update you tomorrow sometime. I have also made an appointment to see the Dr. again on Friday. I'm going to talk to her about getting back on the meds... I think I am probably needing them, as I am having trouble rationalizing again. Something I'm usually almost TOO good at. Thanks for listening. Good night friends.

Wish It Was Good News

Well, I wish I had some great news to report - but I don't. Sleep is still not something that anyone seems to be getting around here. My little plan worked for two nights, and then James caught on and now he just cries and cries until he gets fed. My hubby isn't a big fan of me always asking for advice on my blog, but here is my question... should we just suck it up, and say, "Alright, so James eats 3-4 times at night, big deal"? Or should I/we be taking continued steps to finding out if there is something that we can do to help him sleep longer? The consensus about "sleeping through the night" seems to be about 50/50. Some say their babies slept through the night at this age, others say not to even think about it until he is a year old. All I know is that I'm a mommy who needs sleep, and I'm not getting it - and the anger gets vented at everyone around me. I feel like I have a million questions, and naturally, no one can answer them because "all babies are different". Is he uncomfortable at night? Too hot? Itchy? Is it the formula? Should I try soy? Seriously, my brain hurts. I'm still thinking maybe I need to get back on the anti-depressants, as it would seem that all these "problems" started shortly after I went off of them. *sigh* I just want to be a happy mommy for James!

Screamer

My Psychic Son

James has this uncanny ability to sense change - and then make the change before I get a chance to implement it! After a few more nights of sleep-deprivation, and sheer exhaustion I just couldn't do it anymore. I realized that I was going to have to push past the blurry veil of information that I had in front of me, and just formulate my own plan of action. First, I had to rationalize the situation. James was not waking up because of hunger (he has gone at least 8 hours without eating in the past). He was likely not waking up because he was itchy (I lube him up every night with enough lotion to moisturize the Sahara). I took every possible idea that came to mind, and decided whether it needed to be dealt with. I also decided that he doesn't have thrush, but rather has been frustrated by the slow let-down (sometimes non-existant let-down), hence his terrible eating as of late. Well, what did I want to do about it? I decided I would start pumping, and give him a combo of breastmilk and formula in the bottle, as he seems to be taking the bottle just fine. Secondly, I decided I would play soft music in his room so that it wasn't completely quiet anymore. Thirdly, I decided that I needed to try and introduce a more rigid "schedule". I have never been one for putting such a young baby on a specific schedule, or forcing them to go certain amounts of time without eating. However, when it comes to the nighttime, I need to get rest - so it was time to teach James that he needs to sleep at night. My game plan was as follows:

1. Put James down to bed around 9:30pm after a bottle feeding, with music playing.

2. If he would wake up before 2:30 -3:00am, I would give him a sip to drink and then put his soother back in - but NOT take him out of the crib if possible.

3. 2:30-3:00am he would get another bottle.

4. If he would then wake up before 6:30-7:00am, I would give him another sip and the soother.

So, that was my big plan. I wasn't looking forward to putting it into action, thinking that James would just end up crying until he got fed. The evening came, and we gave him a bottle and he gobbled it up, and went to sleep. At 1:30am he woke up, so I just went in, gave him a little sip and put his soother back in. He drifted right back to sleep! He woke again at around 2:45am, so he got a bottle and went right back to sleep. He then woke up again around 5:00am, so again I just gave him a little sip and the soother. Once again, he drifted right back to sleep until 7:00am. By 7:00am I was pretty engorged, so I offered him the breast and he took it no problem. We've had two successful nights this way so far, and I'm hoping for more! This is MUCH more manageable than trying to nurse him every hour! I am also loving him on the bottle too. I feel so free, and yesterday I spent the day at the mall with my girlfriend and never once felt any anxiety! Not to mention that after shopping all day, I called my hubby and we all went out for a spur-of-the-moment supper. Something we have not done for a long time. I'm much happier, and I love it that I can see how much James is drinking (right now about 4 ounces per feeding, but I'm going to try 6 ounces tonight). I'm also pretty much over my guilt about giving him some formula. He seems to be handling it fine, and has been having poops every-other-day. As far as his eczema goes, it seems to be under control now. I haven't been eating chocolate as per one person's suggestion, and easing up (but not giving up entirely) on the dairy. As well, I have been using the dye free/fragrance free detergent, and bathing him in colloidal oatmeal baths. I saw my Dr. today and she seemed to think that what I was doing was fine. Basically, when it comes to parenting you just have to do what works for you. I don't know why it took so long for me to learn that. So, to say the least, I think things are looking up.

On a whole different topic though, I think it's a little bit sad that although "breast is best" there is often very little to encourage women who choose formula over the breast. I also think that the pressure and guilt put on women to exclusively breastfeed is sort of sad too. I have a few friends with babies who are also feeling like they would like the freedom of using formula every now and then, but they can't do it because they feel guilty. I think it is great to encourage breastfeeding for as long as possible - but I also think it's important that women still feel that they are good moms, even if they have to use formula. I don't think it is a cop-out. I, for one, needed to supplement just for my own sanity. I believe there is something to be said for that as well. So here's to all those moms out there who had to go to formula, or chose to use formula, or who are using it to supplement. You are doing a GREAT job, no matter how you choose to feed your baby. I hope you never question yourself or your decision - because it is a tough one to make.

Happy Times...

James in my homemade t-shirt sling.

"Mmmmmmm... prunes!"

James in his NEW Excer-Saucer!

Fun with Daddy & Grandpa Kroeker

Grandma Plett

Beating up Buzz Lightyear.

In Tears

I'm exhausted, which is likely why I can't seem to keep from crying today. Last night was just... useless. I wish James was like a car - we could just take him in to the "shop", plug him in and a computer would tell us what was "mechanically incorrect". He went to sleep at my parent's place WAY too early, just before 7:00pm and we let him sleep until 9:00pm when we left. He fell asleep in his carseat again, so we just put him in his room for the night. He woke up at 12:00am very angry, and he didn't nurse well. The rest of the night is a blur, I was up crying, my husband rocked James for hours, it just SUCKED. Honestly, I can almost understand why some babies end up with Shaken Baby Syndrome after a night like that. So, this morning I opted for the suppositories, thinking it was merely constipation. He pooped almost instantly, but it really wasn't very hard. I would describe it much like soft ice cream from the machine. Anyway, he had a few more smaller poops, and then that was it. Today he is back to nursing badly, on and off, on and off, and unhappy and crying at the breast. He is happy if I just give him his soother! Is this teething? My milk supply seems low too - I tried pumping, and got a piddly 1.5 ounces after pumping both sides, and I do think I had a let-down. HELP ME! I just can't think anymore, and I feel so stupid that I can't help him sleep better. He has napped well this afternoon, so I did get a little rest. We'll see what tonight holds. It can ONLY be better than last night. I think we might try putting him in his carseat to sleep. I don't like that idea at all, but it's better than no sleep. If you have any insight, please share... otherwise, please keep us in your prayers as I try to keep my sanity, and figure out my "weirdo" son!!! Sorry for the vent, again, but until the nights get better I think I'm just going to be moody.

THANK YOU!

First of all, thank you for praying that we would have a good night last night. I am going to be a little hypocritical here, and talk about the good night we had - but remember, this is following a string of almost two weeks of BAD nights! We went to our friend's place last night, and came home around 9:00pm when James needed to eat. He fell asleep on the way home, so we just put him in his room in his carseat. He woke up at 3:00am! I nursed him, and then put him in his crib where he slept another full 4 hours! It was beautiful! God is so good, and I'm so thankful he blessed us with a night of rest before the big day today. We badly needed it. We are not sure why James slept so well, but we closed a door into our garage where our cats can usually come and go during the night. This part of the house is right next to James' room, and we are wondering if the spring-time mating calls of the cats have been waking him up. No clue - but we'll try again tonight.

Thank you also for your words of wisdom and empathy as far as James' sleeping and nursing goes. Sometimes it just feels better to know you are not alone. I love how someone commented that they hoped we would soon figure out our little "weirdo"! We laughed at that - babies are TOTALLY weird. I think that James is definately teething. He has a tonne of drool, and he WANTS to nurse but starts to cry. Seems like it may be a top, front tooth. Does that make sense? I thought the bottom ones come in first. Anyway, I think you guys are right on about that. I also appreciate the constipation advice. I'm going to try orange juice tonight. Thank you for making me feel normal.

Thanks also for your support and prayers for James' baby dedication. It was a great day, and the service was really nice. We had the church filled with our family and friends - it was so special! We will continute to pray for you as well, and we love you all. Unfortunately, our photos of the dedication didn't turn out well - but here we are anyway...

Now it's his sleeping...

Here is a little run-down of what my night was like last night (it's been about like this for the last 2 weeks, give or take one or two night)...

- James fell asleep after a long cranky period, slept from 6:00pm - 9:00pm (this is unusual).

- At 9:00pm he nursed, and fell asleep, so he went into his crib for the night.

- 12:30am he nursed again, fell asleep, into his crib.

- 3:30am he nursed again, fell asleep, blah, blah, blah.

- 4:30am woke up, didn't want to nurse, gave him soother, rocked him to sleep, into the crib.

- 5:30am nursed again, fell asleep...

- 7:30am he is up for the day, happy as a lark.

This is how my nights have gone for the last 2 weeks or so. It doesn't make any difference what he eats before bed, if he gets a bath, or if we keep him up later. He is also very fussy at the breast again, and I am just exasperated, and beginning to think that I need to quit the breastfeeding! Am I losing my milk? Or what? Also, he hasn't pooped now for almost 3 days, so I am guessing the formula I was giving him got him plugged up. How do I relieve him? I decided no more rice cereal (he was getting approximately 1-2 tbsp. of rice cereal two times a day, and a little bit of pears too) or formula until he poops again. I've also been lathering him up in moisturizer before bed too, for the eczema. I just keep praying, and praying every night (and throughout the day) for a better night, but so far no luck. I'd really love to get a good sleep tonight before James' dedication tomorrow. Please pray for us, that I will know what to do to help him sleep! I'm coming close to my wits end on this one, I just want to get some sleep!

I should mention on top of all this, that despite what my blog may be portraying, I AM enjoying James a lot. He is a happy little guy, and he gives me the sweetest smiles. I just need you to know that all of these problems do not affect my love for my little babe!

Note: I've been off the anti-depressants for about 3 weeks. I'm beginning to wonder if my anxiety is causing the feeding/sleeping issues? Maybe messing with my milk supply? I see my Dr. this week, so I may have to go back on the meds to fix this. If you are on/were on anti-depressants, I'd love to know if you experienced anything similar.

Eczema Issues

So many of you are asking what I've been doing with James, that I'll just post about it instead of making a comment. As far as James' laundry goes, I used Ivory Snow from day one with all of his stuff. Everything got washed in it - and I never used fabric softener in his clothes. I do use fabric softener in our clothes, however, if it is contact dermatitis then it wouldn't make sense that it was a reaction to fabric softener, because our clothes almost never touch his ENTIRE body. In fact, the parts of him that do touch us are the parts with the least eczema. That is why I'm now going to use this Tide Free for Sensitive Skin to see if it a reaction to the Ivory Snow.

There also does not seem to be any correlation between the eczema and using formula/rice cereal. I used some formula back in January, and then stopped using it - thinking it may be a reaction. However, his eczema has some of it's worst flare-ups several weeks after I had quit using formula. I also didn't start the cereal until this week, so it can't be the cereal either. (On a side note, my brother and I both got cow's milk and solids from two months of age and we both have no allergies - the same goes for my husband).

I do LOVE dairy products though. I drink a lot of milk, and eat a lot of dairy. I have NO idea how to stop consuming it! The health nurse recommended to stop eating chocolate, so that will be my first try. If that shows no improvement, then I may have to quit the dairy. But does it make sense that he could have formula, but not handle dairy in MY diet?

Anyway, that's where we are at. I'm trying everything I possibly can - even according to the health nurse, so that's the best I can do, right? Hopefully we will find a solution. My next big issue is why he is now eating every 2-3 hours day and night! It's been going on for almost 2 weeks now. Man, being a mom is hard work.

What's Up

Hey everyone - how are you? There hasn't been anything really going on around our place lately, but I thought I'd give you a little James update - those are always fun, aren't they?! James is doing great, but I've been playing detective lately, trying to find things to help with his eczema. The itching seems to now be waking him up at night (or so I have concluded), so he's been nursing up to three times a night. I know it's not that he's that hungry, because I've been loading him up before bed. First, he gets some rice cereal, then I nurse him, and then he gets some formula on top of that. He still wakes up after 3-4 hours after all of that, so it has to be something else waking him. So, I've now purchased some dye free/fragrance free Tide for his laundry. I've also bough some colloidal oatmeal bath, and some heavy duty dermatological moisturizer and I'm hoping all of this will help to relieve the itch, and help him to sleep. Other than that, he's active as ever, and happy as can be. He's getting cuter, and more fun every day - and we are just totally loving him!

You Are Invited

You are all invited to attend James' baby dedication this Sunday, March 11 at our church at 10:45am. If you are unsure of where that is, please email me for directions. We would love to see you there, and have you stand behind us as we commit our son to the Lord, and promise to teach James in the way of Christ.

Train a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not turn from it.

– Proverbs 22:6 —

Farewell to a Loved One

My great-uncle George passed away this week after a long battle with cancer. I didn't see him often, but he was like a father to my mom - and much like an uncle to me. I was sorry that he did not get to meet James, but he did get to see me close to the end of my pregnancy - and told me I was "a most beautiful creature". I will miss him. I prayed that our Baby Plett would be among those to greet him at Heaven's gate. I'm a little jealous that Uncle George will meet Baby Plett before I get to! Here is his obituary as it appeared in the Winnipeg Free Press. We are all very thankful that his suffering is over, and in many ways we are celebrating the fact that he has now gone Home. Please pray for my great-aunt Donna, and the kids, David, Dana (a stepdaughter) and her husband Stephané, and Reid (a stepson).