I just need to vent - I hope you don't mind. This has just been a bad week - and it's only Wednesday! James is still fussing a lot when he is nursing, and it's almost impossible to burp him because he gets so upset. He pops on and off my breast constantly, and now he's started to "bite" me - it doesn't really hurt, because he has no teeth - but it is starting to take a toll on my nipples. Then, he has started sleeping even LESS at night - going from an average of 5-6 hours to 2-3 hours. It could be a growth spurt, but the problem is that he now does this fussy nursing thing all night (he used to only do it in the afternoon and evening), and then doesn't want to go back to sleep. Argh! So just when I thought that was enough to deal with, he has now broken out in a rash all over his body. It started on his cheeks, and a little patch on his forehead. He now has red little bumps all over his head, patches on his neck, a really big patch on his shoulder, and all over his arms, tummy and legs - none on his bum, back, hands or feet though. He seems to be scratching it - so it must be itchy. So... I decided enough was enough, and took him to the Dr. yesterday afternoon. She simply said that he has infant reflux, and eczema - and then gave me some things to try. Well, it wasn't helpful at all - because I already feel that I was doing everything she suggested - and it isn't improving! ARGH!!! I told her that, but she didn't really seem to have anything more to add to that. SO... today James got his first vaccinations from the health nurse. She sort of thought the rash was a little odd too - I can't think of anything that I have changed since he was born, so who knows. Thankfully she seemed to take the problems (and me) more seriously than anyone else has so far. Basically, I need my mommy! She is away for 3 weeks on vacation, and she is my only voice of reason. A good friend was my listening ear this morning, and that helped - but I just wish someone could tell me why my little boy is so unhappy. I finally just gave him some infant Tylenol this afternoon, and now he is napping. Anyway, I'm going to go back and see the health nurse in a week to monitor the rash. I am just SO frustrated, and I've been praying, and praying... what do I do to get some sanity?
Wednesday, February 7
More Frustrations...
I just need to vent - I hope you don't mind. This has just been a bad week - and it's only Wednesday! James is still fussing a lot when he is nursing, and it's almost impossible to burp him because he gets so upset. He pops on and off my breast constantly, and now he's started to "bite" me - it doesn't really hurt, because he has no teeth - but it is starting to take a toll on my nipples. Then, he has started sleeping even LESS at night - going from an average of 5-6 hours to 2-3 hours. It could be a growth spurt, but the problem is that he now does this fussy nursing thing all night (he used to only do it in the afternoon and evening), and then doesn't want to go back to sleep. Argh! So just when I thought that was enough to deal with, he has now broken out in a rash all over his body. It started on his cheeks, and a little patch on his forehead. He now has red little bumps all over his head, patches on his neck, a really big patch on his shoulder, and all over his arms, tummy and legs - none on his bum, back, hands or feet though. He seems to be scratching it - so it must be itchy. So... I decided enough was enough, and took him to the Dr. yesterday afternoon. She simply said that he has infant reflux, and eczema - and then gave me some things to try. Well, it wasn't helpful at all - because I already feel that I was doing everything she suggested - and it isn't improving! ARGH!!! I told her that, but she didn't really seem to have anything more to add to that. SO... today James got his first vaccinations from the health nurse. She sort of thought the rash was a little odd too - I can't think of anything that I have changed since he was born, so who knows. Thankfully she seemed to take the problems (and me) more seriously than anyone else has so far. Basically, I need my mommy! She is away for 3 weeks on vacation, and she is my only voice of reason. A good friend was my listening ear this morning, and that helped - but I just wish someone could tell me why my little boy is so unhappy. I finally just gave him some infant Tylenol this afternoon, and now he is napping. Anyway, I'm going to go back and see the health nurse in a week to monitor the rash. I am just SO frustrated, and I've been praying, and praying... what do I do to get some sanity?
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17 comments :
heather:
well i am obviously not giving you any baby helpful hints; but i did want to tell you that you are a great mom. babies are suppose to fuss, or else we would all have a dozen or more. asking questions and caring is exactly what you should be dong. good luck on your quest, but remember you are a good mom.
he might be reacting to the formula you gave him. it is something new that has come up in the last little while for him. just an idea.
I don't really know what to say about the baby thing, but I want to say I understand how you feel about it seeming like it's just one thing after another sometimes. That is really frustrating. I'm sure things will start looking up soon :) Oh, and thanks for commenting on my blog :)
Chad's girlfriend,
Jill :)
I agree with Patti - it may be the formula. You can try Soy formula or even just a different brand. Or just keep him off it for a while and see if that makes a difference. Chances are good the rash is keeping him up at night, but he may also be going through a growth spurt.
Be encouraged that this will pass. All of a sudden, James will be 8 months, and these nights will be a past memory. I know it's hard to imagine right now, but it is true! :) hang in there!
First of all - that's a beautiful picture of James! He's such a cutie!!
Secondly - You're doing a great job as a mom. None of us know what we're doing the first time around :) I remember feeling so frustrated and insulted when I would take Micah to the walk-in clinic with legitimate concerns and the doctors would seem to wave it off just because we were first-time parents. So, I understand the feeling. I'm glad the health nurse is on your side and hopefully the rash and extra fussiness will sort itself out.
Micah has had some severe excema outbreaks in the past and even when his skin seems fine we use a cream called "Glaxal Base" on a regular basis. It's a thick non-medicated cream that you can find in any grocery/drug store. We also used oatmeal baths when he got really itchy but I'm not sure if James is old enough for those... Anyway, just some suggestions. I'm thinking of you!
Hey, Heather. James looks so adorable in that picture. I'm praying that you will get to the source of the eczema issue. I myself have struggled with eczema for the last 8 years or so (ever since I gave birth to my first child), and since my first outbreak ocurred while I was pregnant, I couldn't have the usual treatment of cortizone. My doctor recommended trying either Glaxal Base or Aveeno lotion. The Glaxal Base didn't work for me, but the Aveeno lotion (which contains natural ingredients) REALLY, REALLY helped. I still use it today as a preventative measure. It may be worth a try. You are doing a great job as a mom. I love reading your post as you work through motherhood issues. It's very evident in your writing that you love James beyond measure. If the doctor doesn't seem to be "hearing" you, maybe a different doctor needs to be seen. I'm glad the health nurse is understanding though. Every mom, no matter what age her kids are, needs to feel heard and understood.
Heather: It doesn't seem that long ago when I went thru the same emotions. Believe me better days are ahead for mommy and baby. And yes like the commenter before mentioned Aveeno. I'll second that. I went thru with skin problems on both of my children. Amber was even worse them Tristan. I even went to see a specialist in the city. I tried medicinal creams to herbal remedies. I want to advice you to be careful to not use too many medicinal creams.Long term use of those creams can damage.
Aveeno is natural and soothes doesn't heal but soothes and won't hurt.
They'll outgrow it eventually.[Most cases] The strange thing with Amber [and she had it bad] was, as soon as I stopped breastfeeding her, gone were her skin problems! I breast fed her for 11 months and that meant 11 months of bad rashes and breakouts. Drs said it was exzema specialist said it was psoriosis. I tries everything under the sun it seemed like and nothing seemed to work. I understand your frustrations. We try our best with our children and still we feel helpless and feel like we failed somehow and yet we are good mommies. We love our children, right? Do lots of rocking and cuddling with your sweet little James. It's gonna get better.But yes, try Aveeno lotion. I used it on Amber till she was 1 year old.
Hi Heather,
One of my daughters used to get eczema in fall and winter. As soon as the sun was not as hot and the sweaters came out she was sure to come out in a rash. The sun seems to be the healer. Eczema is terribly itchy. I could reason with her during the day and teach her to rub not scratch but at night it was vicious. The heat under the blankets seemed to make it worse. She would scratch so hard that at one point she had an open wound of about 5 inches. I took her to a homeopathic doctor and things slowly got better. We managed to get rid of the rash one winter and then it showed up the next fall. We treated it again and it went away. Every since then it has never surfaced again. If homeopathy is not your thing then do like the others are suggesting. Stay away from harsh medicines for eczema. They thin your skin and do not heal but rather push the eczema back into the body only to come out somewhere else. Use something more natural like Aveeno.
okay so could james be any cuter??? wow
and i also agree with patti in that, the formula could have caused this outbrake..hopefully he isnt allergic to any of the ingrediants? or is it to early for allergies? i dont remeber.
i think its good that you can vent on your blog..just know all us moms understand. take care my dear.
If it is excema, SLATHER him with Baby Aveeno lotion from head to toe, and I mean slather. That has worked wonders for all of my girls, and they've all had excema. It's good to try before you go the hydrocortisone (sp) route.
Karla
Heather - James is a sweetie looks! I only have advice from my experience so I'm sorry if it doesn't help. Palmer was a fussy nurser until 4 months to the day. Then it was like a switch turned on and it all changed for the better.
Have you been eating anything different lately? I don't know if anyone has suggested this, but when our little guy broke out into a rash that wasn't just eczema my doc said to pay attention to what I'd eaten whenever it happened - turns out bananas were the culprit. Funny how they can be bothered by what's in breastmilk. Although the ladies could have something with the whole formula deal.
Maybe your doc suggested this but a friend of mine whose baby had major reflux said to tilt the crib mattress up slightly with a few pillows underneath.
And boy do I hear you on the change in sleep patterns. I really do think they're growth spurts because Palmer just came out of one where he was up every 2-3 hours as well and he just turned 6 months! I pray for longer nights of sleep & they seem to come when I least expect it!
Hi Heather,
I know there are few things more frustrating than a baby that you can't seem to help. Both my kids had colic and so I have definitely been there. Kieran's colic manifested itself starting at about one month old as fussy feeding, as you are describing. I am not suggesting that James has colic necessarily, but this is what it was like for him - coming on and off the breast while nursing. After we ruled out a number of problems my doctor thought maybe he just got some stomach pains while in that horizontal nursing position. So James could be getting some gassy pains while nursing. I agree with some of your other comments that the formula could cause the problemss. I've also had a number of friends whose babies were lactose intolerant and when the moms cut dairy out of their diets the babies did much better. If you decide to try cutting out dairy try it for at least one week so it has time to fully get out of your system. As for the eczema, the dairy could help that as well. But some babies just get eczema. Both my kids have gone through it, too. I basically slather Kieran in vaseline every night after his bath. You can buy a non-prescription cortizone cream at any pharmacy. It's the lowest dose and it can help. You aren't supposed to use it for too long (more than a week at a time) but it can help get over the hump of healing and then after that just finding a lotion or vaseline that works for the baby. I recommend Vaseline Creamy (it comes in a tub). It's a lotion, not actually vaseline, but it works well. We have also used Glysomed (a lotion that comes in a green bottle) that is a nice, thick cream.
Anyway, hang in there. It can be frustrating when you can't find anything that makes it better. If the breastfeeding continues to go poorly I would strongly encourage you to see a lactation consultant. They are sooo helpful and even if they can't do a whole lot for you, they are so encouraging and make you feel like you are such a champ for hanging in there and I found that this encouragement made such a difference for me. I wanted to give up on it with both my kids. People make you think breastfeeding is so easy and natural and it really really isn't. Oh, and try using Lansinoh on the sore nipples. It is very soothing. It is usually in the aisle with the baby items (diapers, baby lotions, diaper rash cream etc.).
Ok, this was a really long comment. Sorry about that! :)
/Shannon B.
Heather, You just go right ahead and vent girl! Vent away! Goodness knows we all need to once in a while! Keep your chin up-and hopefully your mommy will be back soon. In the meantime, remember that if you ever get too frustrated it won't hurt James to just put him in his crib for a few minutes and clear your head. I had to do that with my kids just to maintain my sanity sometimes. Even if they are crying, just take a little break, it's worth it!
It's an amazing support network you've fostered here, Heather. Pretty incredible, really. I was going to offer some advice, but I think it's pretty much been covered off by your web sisters already. A few extras...
Like Nicole, Tannis definitely isolated a few foods she was eating that seemed to get into her breast milk and cause problems for the girls -- tomatoes were one of them...maybe she remembers others as well.
On a more general note, I remember keenly that feeling of frustration when things didn't seem to be working very well with a newborn. Two things helped me over time.
The first was recognizing (after much angst) that everything is a phase with kids and they change so fast. You feel like the current problems (with eating, sleeping, rashes, pooping, whatever) will last forever, but they don't. Thank goodness.
The other was simply recognizing that I was doing my best, and that it was good enough, even if it didn't always feel that way. Babies use crying to communicate, right? It doesn't mean they're unhappy or being critical of you. As long as they're cuddled, fed and washed, you're doing your job. And I know you're doing an excellent job with James -- keep your head up and try to relax your expectations of parenting perfection.
Venting is good! Sometimes that brings the patience back for a little while! As for a fussy nurser, Rowan was definately like that. I figured out pretty quicly that tomatos and onions, and other things like chocolate and pineapple were really bad for him. When I stopped eating those foods, he was much better, although he was always very agressive and not very calm when he was nursing. Not fun, but hey, you made it to your first goal, and you can do it again if you want to!
I get what patti said about the formula too. Some babies just don't take to certain kinds of formula. Rashes are probably more common than we know!
You are very entitled to your venting on bad days! Just hold onto the fact that things are constantly changing, there will be ups and downs, and that he's turning into a handsome little man!
Hi Heather, I've been "lurking" on your blog, I hope you don't mind. I'm an aunt to Stacy mentioned aboved. My oldest son broke out into exzema as an infant, it was so bad he looked like a burn victim. Covered head to toes! We used a prescription hydrocortison and that worked well. Just spread on a very thin layer. By the time he was a year old he had pretty much outgrown this "itchy" problem. Hope this helps!
hes prob. going through a growth spurt.. normal for the 1st year... they happen often... wish ic oudl tell you that will be his last haha, but it wont.
caleb had some ezema patches... Taite I think may have some.. but nothing yet. I have exzema pretty bad.. so it wouldnt be a surprise.
Hope things get better w/ nursing though.. that can be really frustrating!
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