Well, guess what everyone?! If I make it to tomorrow (which I suspect I will), I will officially have come farther in this pregnancy than the last one! PRAISE GOD! I am so excited, mostly because things are going so well, and I've started to feel much better in the last week. I am not nearly as tired, and the nausea is pretty much completely gone. Some days it still feels like I am expecting something to go badly, but most days now I am positive and looking forward to the future with this new little life. My tummy is definately showing now - I'll have to take a picture soon.Just five months ago, at this point in my pregnancy, I called the doctor because I was having some strange symptoms. I just thought it would be some kind of infection, and she's put me on some meds and I'd be good to go. She examined me, and felt there was a serious problem. I was given an immediate ultrasound appointment, which Ryan and I went to that evening. The news was grim. We watched little Baby Plett's motionless body on the screen, and then the technician confirmed, "I'm sorry, but it looks like the baby has died some time ago". I'll never forget that horrible feeling that washed over me. My throat ached as I held back my sobs. The technician left us alone, and the tears flowed.
Looking back, I'd have to say that was the most heart-wrenching time of my life. I was so hurt, so angry, and all I wanted was to have that baby back. It amazes me how God has used that experience to get me to the point where I am now. Just five short months, and I think I am changed, hopefully for the better. How amazing that He took care of us, even when we were cursing Him for allowing our baby to be taken. How incredible, that even through great loss comes great gain. What a miracle, that He has blessed us again with a new life. God is good. I pray His blessings on each of you today, no matter what you are going through - I promise you that you can get through it if you rely on God. All you have to do is ask Him, and He'll carry your load. You can leave all your baggage at the foot of the Cross. He'll take it for you. Don't try to carry it all on your own - you were never intended or created to carry such burdens.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV)
1 comment :
You're faith and perseverance is so encouraging to me. It's amazing to see how far you have come in your walk, even from reading your posts over the last few months. You have excersized your faith muscle beyond where it was able to go before any of this. It's weird, I wondered why I was lead to your blog when I was. I had recently found out to be pregnant myself, thn I stumbled across your blog, and read from start to finish. I wondered why I would've been lead to read something so awful, right when I found out to be expecting, i really had to lay down some fear that the same might happen to me. But as I kept reading and reading, I found so much hope and grace in your story, I knew God was completely in the midst of it all, and that He would show His greatness in your testimony. There was no way I was going to miss that! God IS good. He has blessed you with a new little life, but I think the biggest blessing is what He has done in your heart. He must have big plans for you two, and your upcoming family. So happy that your pregnancy is still going well, can't wait to see a pic of your belly! :)
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