Most days have been pretty good, but today was a tough one. I had an early morning meeting with a committe I am on, and two of the other ladies on the committee had not heard of my miscarriage. They both asked how the baby was doing, and both times I had to explain that the baby had died. Of course, they felt awful for having mentioned it - but how could they know. At the same time, I felt awful for having to tell them, putting them in a awkward situation where they would feel forced to say something. Oh well. I was proud of myself for not tearing up, and I kept a strong and brave face on. Funny thing is... I actually felt strong and brave too! God is obviously still helping me out - not that I really doubted that He would, but it's nice to reassured.
I've received a couple of booklets and books lately too that have been helpful. One booklet is from Focus on the Family, and it's called "Permission to Grieve". It outlines the stages of grief - which has been good, because it makes me feel "normal".
The other is a book called "Empty Arms". I haven't read much of it - but after reading the first three pages, I thought I was reading my own book! I think it will be a good one too.
1 comment :
This poem was sent to me after I had my daughter. I know that you don't have any earthly children as of yet, but once you do, I hope that this poem will bring you comfort, and maybe it will during this time as well. Take care.
A Different Child
poem by Pandora MacMillian
People notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."
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