Waiting

Well, today wasn't the best day. I woke up in the morning with signs of trouble with the pregnancy. I called my OB and she sent me for an HCG Beta test. While I was at the hospital, the signs of a problem got worse, so I went into emergency to see a Dr. He confirmed that my uterus was measuring right for 11 weeks, and my cervix is closed - but these things have always happened with my other miscarriages too. He did schedule me for an ultrasound tomorrow morning at 10:45am. This feels like the story of my life... back to that same horrible ultrasound room... the room of gloom. Later when we got home the OB office called with the results of the beta test. My levels are dropping, which is not good. They should be doubling. So, it is with a huge sadness in my heart that we prepare for the worst tomorrow. Admittedly, I've lost hope for a miracle. I wish I could, but the hope is gone. I was sitting here staring at the phone, wondering who to call. Who can help me? And then I realized, God doesn't have a phone number. He is the only One who can help. He is the only one who can heal. But He doesn't have a phone, and I can't call Him. So, now we wait...