Sleep Experiment - Night Two

Yuck. That is how I will describe last night. Yuck. It was our worst night ever - since Rayya's birth, no lie. I don't know what happened. She followed along on the new routine nicely all day. Morning nap from 9:00am-10:30am, afternoon nap from 1:00am-3:00pm (though she woke up sporadically throughout), and then to bed around 7:00pm. She needed a little help to fall asleep, but that isn't unheard of (she just needs me to hold her hand). She was then out solid until about 1:00am, and then the fun began!

At 1:00am she just needed a soother reinsertion - okay, no big deal, we were actually still (sort of) awake. Then at 3:00am she woke up, and after that everything is a blur. She was happy and cooing, and I went in about 10 times to put her soother in. Eventually she got onto her belly and was all over the crib and then started crying. I went in two or three times to put her back onto her back, reinsert the soother, and walked out. Eventually she would start up crying again, so I just let her cry for awhile... felt like an hour, but I know it was only about 10 minutes. I was ticked, and I rather gruffly put her onto her back and said sternly "quiet NOW!". And she actually was (it was about 4:30am). I did now want to cave in and give her a bottle - though I knew that would have konked her out for the night. Of course, in true style of my children, she didn't make up for one second of lost sleep and was up bright-eyed and curly-tailed at 7:15am. Yuck.

She fought her morning nap too - so maybe it's not about the sleep. Let's see... what baby thing can I blame? Learning something new (sitting up), teething, over-tired, new introduction of food (mango), constipation? Who the "h" knows?! All I know is that this is one tired mommy. I can ONLY assume tonight will be better.

These are the parts of being a mom that I don't love. I don't like all the guessing, testing, trying, and changing. I seem to level out and really start to love being a mom around the one year mark - which is fast approaching with Rayya, so there is light at the end of the tunnel! I fully admit, I don't love the baby stage for that reason - too many variables. It just doesn't jive with my personality. But that's okay. I've learned that there are others who share this feeling of frustration with babies... including a few "older generation" friends, who have been very encouraging! They tell me that they often found that their friends would complain that they wanted to have babies back in the house, and they were thrilled to finally be enjoying their children once they were older. I totally feel that! I LOVE and ADORE my babies... but I do look forward to them being older.

Like right now, I absolutely can't get enough of my three year-old. Yes, three year-olds have some difficult aspects to them, but the talking and conversations just can't be beat! He's dependent, and independent. He's little, but big. He can walk on his own, but I can still hold him. He can tell me what he needs, what hurts, what he wants for lunch, where his favourite toy is, and can even play outside alone (as long as he stays in the sandbox where I can see him out the window). He sleeps through the night!!! I LOVE, love, LOVE this age! I could push pause on 2-3 years-old easily, and be happy.