No, I don't really think I'm lacking faith... I just seem to ebb and flow in my excitement for it. I'm told this is normal, and that we all "drift" - but I don't like drifting. I suppose coming off the high of Rayya's miraculous birth has caused a sort of anti-climactic feeling in me. That, and toss in life with two kids, a husband, exhaustion and you have a recipe for someone who lacks ambition to pursue almost anything - nevermind devotions, Bible Study homework, quality prayer time, and in general, a vivacious life in faith. I foresee this improving however, perhaps with more nice weather, and an influx of vitamin D back into my life.
I certainly think I've hit the doldrums of winter. I feel a little... blah. I'm finding myself being very negative, easily irritated, bored (with the exception of my new quilt-making fetish, which is helping the boredom disappear), and sometimes just downright angry. This, I don't believe, is me. So I am eagerly awaiting Spring, and all the fun things that I have to look forward to with that. I can't wait to puddle jump with James in my new rubber boots from Superstore (I love the Joe line), take the kids for walks in the stroller again, let Rayya lay on a blanket in the sun, go to the playground, walk to the store, have picnics, chase tricycles, swim in the pool, play in the sandbox... the list goes on and on. Oh, how I cannot wait for Spring!
4 comments :
I think this "lack of faith" is just a stage MOST mom's go through and one point or other. Winter months are tough. But Spring is JUST around the corner. Yesterday I puddle jumped with Annika for a bit - that really boosted the "happy meter" for me!
This stage of winter is hard. It seems that it will never end. Look for the little things... It is staying light out longer. THe sun is coming up just after 7am. The sun is getting warmer when it is shining in the windows. Slowly, slowly the world is waking up!! Hang in there!
there is light at the end of this winter tunnel! hang in there!
i LOVE the jellybean picture :)
Shortly after I had Isaiah I felt like my devotional life was lacking. Then I found my "Ten Minute Time Out For Mom's" devotional by Grace Fox and really felt like those 10 minutes were filled with much joy. God knows and understands the stage you are in. You are busy.
You are loved and missed dealy.
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