I was able to nurse James for about 2-1/2 months when he suddenly seemed to wean himself. He was unhappy at my breast, and would pop on and off and barely drink. By the time I finally just quit (without really consulting anyone for help), my milk supply was so low I didn't even experience any engorgement.
This time around I wanted my nursing experience to be different, and to last longer. I made sure I saw a lactation consultant in the hospital, and explained to her my previous experience. She showed me a few ways to nurse comfortably while lying down - as I had decided I would try co-sleeping with Rayya. I also decided ahead of time to "nurse through the pain", meaning that even when something wasn't going perfectly, I would still keep going. Well, eventually I had to put Rayya in her crib for night. She was sleeping decent stretches anyway, and I just wasn't able to sleep with her next to me.
Things seemed to be going smoothly in all regards. Rayya was a champion nurser - often finished in under 5 minutes, and sleeping well at night. I was so thrilled! Soon I started to notice that she was unhappy at my breast - this was a few weeks after my engorgement had subsided. I diagnosed the problem to be the very forceful let-down reflex I had - and after trying some new positions, she was back to nursing happily again. A few weeks after that, and my supply evened out and the forceful let-down seemed to decrease - or she just began handling it better. Again, she would fuss at the breast - and I noticed it was taking a little longer to have a let-down. I assumed she was unhappy with the fact that she now had to work for her meal, and figured she'd just get used to it.
From there, things have progressively gotten a little worse. Determined not to give it up, I've just been "nursing through the pain". Rayya began to cry when nursing on my right side - which up until then had been her favourite side. I would trick her by putting her soother in, and then quickly pull it out and replace it with the breast. She would pop on and off frequently, and I would have to somewhat manually stimulate the breast to have a let-down (TMI?). Once let-down happens, she nurses happily for a few minutes, and then I have to use compressions to keep her on a while longer. The fussing has grown worse, but I've kept going - using my "trick" technique at each feed on that side. This is particularly difficult if we go out, and I don't feel completely comfortable. Then it's virtually impossible to achieve a let-down, and it's embarassing when she is crying and constantly on-and-off the breast.
I don't claim to love nursing - but I WANTED to love nursing. I wanted to go for three months, and I've done that. Now I want to go longer. The supply is there. The ability is there. The desire is there. But at every turn, it feels that there is something stopping me from achieving my next goal of 4 months. I'm frustrated.
On the bright side, Rayya is happy, content, and thriving. There's no doubt that she is getting enough nutrition, and that is the main thing. However, this week she started fussing at the left breast as well. Thankfully I already knew how to trick her - so I am now using the soother trick at all feedings. In the night and early mornings I don't always have to use it when she's groggy. Then she just seems to be unconscious to the problem. During the day though we have to fight it out each time.
I had suspected thrush for some time now, but at a Dr.'s appointment a couple of weeks ago I had her checked and the Dr. said she had no signs of it. Today I am convinced it is thrush, though we don't have all the typical signs, we do have these:
• my nipples are itchy and sore (still TMI?)
• at times I feel a "pins and needles" sensation in my breasts
• Rayya has a slight whitish tinge to her mouth
• the obvious discomfort she has only when nursing
So, now I am trying to figure out the quickest way to get this fixed so that I don't have to end my milkmaid career. I SO do not want to quit yet. In fact, dare I say it... I think I am growing to love nursing. I want to continue. The directions I'm reading online to cure thrush looks daunting though - and with an unconfirmed success rate at that! Everything from creams, ointments, medications, oils, powders, herbs, purple dyes... you name it, and it seems like almost everything and anything COULD be a cure, but nothing IS the cure. I was sharing this frustration with a mom of four today at church. Her tried and tested recommendation is boric acid. I looked it up online to see how to use it, and found that it's used in rat poison. See, anything really CAN be a cure!
8 comments :
Heather, I have done the thrush thing at least half a dozen times and take it from me - if they give you nystatin (as a liquid for the baby) you should just skip it and ask for gentian violet which is the purple stuff. It stains everything but it cures thrush the fastest and most effectively. Also, MAKE SURE the doc prescribes something for you as well , even if you aren't having serious symptoms or they subside. If you are nursing then you are probably infected and if you only treat the baby then you will reinfect the baby. Both of you need treatment. (sometimes they give you a nystatin cream that you have to apply after every feeding and wash off before feeding - ask for the pills - I had one where I only had to take a couple of pills and that was that - when you are a busy mom that is preferrable to messy creams!). Regardless, the pulling off could very likely be a sign of thrush and you can't treat thrush with home remedies. Get thee to a doctor! It can be persistent so make sure that you are consistent with the treatment and insistent with the doctor (is that enough "istents"?)! Good luck Heather! Thrush can be a major pain but seriously, with gentian violet it can be gone fairly quickly. I hope you are done with it quickly!
Oh and I don't know if you have seen a lactation consultant again but I would encourage you to go back if you haven't. Just because you've been doing it for a few months doesn't mean it would be wrong for you to ask for help now. Lactation consultants are amazing. They can help you troubleshoot situations and give suggestions you might never have thought of. Good luck!
Ugh! Sorry my friend. Praying for you.
However you solve it, I'd love to hear! I didn't nurse Riker at all and Trinity only until 4 months. I'd love to go longer with this one and since Thrush seems to be fairly common, I'd love to know how you got rid of it. I really admire how you're pushing through...I honestly don't know if I would have the persistence.
What can I say except I will pray for of that God will give you a peace of heart
Wow, I haven't been on your blog for a long time! Looks great! I love the changes!
Sorry I am no nursing expert myself... in my opinion you've gone over and above already!
But, change is always hard.... and dreaded.
Remember to be gentle with yourself as well.
Rob.
Well, the Dr. looked us both over thoroughly today, and she feels that Rayya is simply expressing her displeasure about my slow let-down. In the beginning I had a forceful and fast let-down, but since my milk supply has evened out it has slowed significantly. THis is likely the problem, and will hopefully soon rectify as Rayya gets used to it. Otherwise, we're just going to be fighting it out to the end - which I want to be at least one more month. I think I can handle one more month with no life.
Heather, talk to public health and see what they recommend. Sometimes doctors don't know that much about nursing and breastfeeding problems. Your public health nurse should be able to hook you up with a lactation support nurse. Or if you are feeling up to it there are tons of breastfeeding support groups in Winnipeg that could help you through this rough patch. I just survived mastitis this weekend. NOT FUN!!!
Oh I feel your pain.. Hayden was the WORST nurser ever.. around the same time as Rayya too, super fussy and would refuse to nurse.. eventually it turned out that he would only nurse laying down which was a pain in the butt for a while. I almost quit nursing him, in fact i had almost weaned him but he hated the bottle and wouldn't take that either. So, we decided to go back to nursing (that was when he was 4 1/2 months old).. he will now be one next week and we are still nursing... and it's finally easy. We had a million problems with nursing this time, which was so different for me because it was easy with my daughter. You should take acidophilus, it is the only thing that got rid of our yeast (we had it until he was 6 months old or so). I took two caplets a day (instead of the recommended one caplet) because apparently you need to take more if you actually have thrush. And your symptoms do sound like thrush by the way. We tried diflucan and nystatin, but it always came back until the acidophilus. You can keep taking one a day after its gone. I talked a lot with la leche league people and lactation consultants during my troubles and they were very helpful. I won't tell you what to do, but i'm happy we're still nursing even though we went through fire to do it.
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