Sensitivity

Anybody who knows me, or reads my blog, knows very well how much my heart aches for women who struggle with infertility, pregnancy loss and adoption failure. It's women like these who are on my mind constantly, and who I devote the most of my prayer life to. Many of my closest, and best friends have walked through (and are still walking through) these kinds of hurts. I would never intentionally hurt or be insensitive to anyone who has experienced these things.

It's impossible for me to be perfect (trust me, I've tried), and so I apologize if I have ever written anything that has appeared insensitive or hurtful. I would feel horrible if I knew I had done something like that. What hurts more? Never holding a baby in your arms, losing a baby that you carried for only a few weeks, holding a stillborn child in your arms in the hospital, being promised a baby only for the mother to decide to keep it? Unless one of us has experienced every single one of these things, we can NEVER compare. We can NEVER know. All we can know is that each of these situations hurts. It causes an eternal inury to a woman's heart. The hurt is excruciating. But we can never, never know that any of these things is worse than the other. What is the same is this: all of the women in these situations long for a baby.

I have walked in the shoes of the person who is envious and finds pain in watching and hearing of other pregnant women. How many times I have been out in public, loathing every pregnant woman who passes me, secretly judging her and wondering why SHE is worthy and I am NOT? I have definately been there, and sometimes... I still am.

It is for this reason that I need to know from here on forward how this particularly special group of women would like me to post about my current pregnancy. Yes, I have walked a painful road, but I still want and need to be sensitive to those who are still in some of their most hurting moments. Should I limit my posts about it? Should I keep from posting pictures? Should I title each post related to my pregnancy as "Pregnancy Update" so that you always know what it is about beforehand, and can either skip it, or prepare yourself? How much can I post about my feelings and my excitement? I really would appreciate some feedback about this. I definately don't want my blog to be a source of discouragement or cause anyone to feel salt in their already throbbing wound. Thanks everyone! I look forward to your comments.