28 Weeks

These pics turned out kinda weird, and yet I like them!

28 weeks with James seen here.

Overwhelmed

I haven't been blogging much lately, for many different reasons. There are the obvious reasons: life is busy, it's summer, and we're outside a lot! So much stuff is happening, that I don't have time to blog about it all, and if I did - it would be one monstrous blog post!

Then there are the not-so-obvious reasons. One the of the reasons is that I am extremely overwhelmed these days. I have trouble with being overwhelmed at the BEST of time, but particularly now - when I am majorly nesting, and feeling the on-coming exhaustion of the third (and last!) trimester falling upon me, and my body. My body is definately noticing the extra strain, especially because I am also constantly running after my little buddy, James. It feels like there is SO much to do, and I'm running out of time. James' new room is far from ready, and I can't clean up in there and get it ready, and painted until it's time. And if his room isn't done, we don't have a place for new furniture for him, so that has to wait. And if there isn't furniture, I can start moving his stuff into there. And if I can't move his stuff into there, I have no good place to start putting the new baby's stuff. And if I can't do THAT... well, I'm just lost. I need to get these things done, AND SOON, because my energy is depleting, and let's face it - baby could show up early.

On that note, and now that you think I've completely lost it, I've also had to contemplate why I blog. Why do people want to read about my life? Why do I WANT people to read about my life? I admit that the blog has actually brought out a rather bad trait of mine. This is the need for verbal or written acknowledgment that I've done something well, or recognition of an accomplishment, a compliment - that kind of thing. I really have used this blog to fulfill my need for this type of attention. When the comments start to become sparce, my mood is actually directly effected. I wonder if I'm not an interesting enough blogger. Maybe my subject was boring. Maybe I just don't actually have that many friends. It gets bad. Then I find myself getting upset that the most blog attention I get is when I've miscarried. Are people feeding off of my misfortune? Secretly enjoying the journey through the pain and the suffering that goes with it? OF COURSE NOT. But these are the insane thoughts that start flooding my mind when I get hurt that "no one" is reading my blog anymore. Is my self worth starting to become dependent on my blog audience? If so, I need to take a step back. So anyway, that's where I'm at with that. I plan to continue to blog - but before I make a post, I have to mentally prepare. I have to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons, and not just looking to be fulfilled with these kinds of written affirmations that I so enjoy.

In happier news, life is good. Other than the overwhelmed feeling I have trying to prepare for baby - I am PUMPED that we are merely 12 weeks away from meeting the little one! James has also been a blast, and I'm just soaking up all my time with him as my only child. The house is a mess, the yard neglected, the dust bunnies flying, but I am enjoying life with James and one on the way. We spend most of our time outside, and have a calendar packed with events before the arrival of the babe. I really just can't wait - and yet some part of me wants to pause this beautiful moment in time when I can dote all of me to James.

Neglected Things

MY LIST OF THINGS BEING NEGLECTED:

Yard work, cooking (in particular, healthy cooking that involves doing more than opening a box of something frozen or canned), house cleaning (particularly the toothpaste spatter on the bathroom mirror, and the unmopped porch floor), the completion of James' new room, my body aches & pains, leaving blog comments, making phone calls, leftovers in the fridge that are long rotted, cleaning and defrosting the fridge freezer downstairs, the cats, the hamster (although not so much as the cats), my devotions... I'm sure there is more that is mising!

MY LIST OF THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO NEGLECT:

God, Ryan, James, family and friends

Baby Banana

I couldn't resist. I caved in and went to Babymoon to see Baby Banana once last time before he/she makes an appearance into our lives, and our arms. It was so precious - baby looked perfect!

Baby Banana's little foot.

Baby's face nuzzling into the placenta (baby's nose is the whitish thing in the center of the photo).
Baby grabbing for it's toes!

A big alien-looking yawn.

Baby rubbing it's eyes.

Baby with it's arm over it's head.

Pain in the Butt

I wasn't sure I was going to blog about this. In fact, I knew I WASN'T going to blog about this... until I had one of the those moments that made me say "Lord, I'm so sorry", so here it goes.
For about the last week or so I've been living with an extremely royal pain in the butt. This pain is literal. I have been in a super-kamikaze nesting mode, where I suddenly get urges to accomplish large (and heavy) tasks. When these nesting periods hit, I have NO TIME TO WAIT! It must be accomplished NOW, because otherwise I may NEVER HAVE TIME AGAIN to do it. Or so my brain and body believe.
So anyway, besides carrying James, I've been carrying the vacuum cleaner around the house - up and down many flights of stairs, out to the garage to vacuum the van, etc. I also suddenly needed to set up our gazebo, and yanked and pulled the silly thing all the way across the lawn to where I wanted it. Eventually I called my brother to help me put it up, but the damage was done. I had gotten myself a great big wallop of a... pregnancy hemorrhoid. This thing was not only gigantic, but one of the most painful and uncomfortable things I've ever experienced - in the absolute most inopportune part of my body. Thank goodness that I had some medication for this very problem left from post-birth with James. I was also very thankful that I had a weekend away with my mom, aunts and cousin - for which I ditched some of the afternoon shopping to just sit at the hotel, read, and relax my bottom. It wasn't really feeling much better though, and on Sunday night I nearly had to kick myself (preferably not in the rear). I hadn't prayed about it! Who would think about praying for healing for their... bum?! I definately hadn't. So I prayed about it, and wouldn't you just know it... Monday was the first day it felt better. I also bought a big bag of Epsom salt in the US, and have soaked in it for the last two nights before bed. So prayer and salt seem to be doing the trick, and today things are feeling almost back to normal! Hooray!
Now I just hope that by posting this I accomplished a few things. I hope you smiled. I hope you feel more "normal", and I hope that you will be inspired to pray about the littlest (or the biggest) things in your life that you forgot you could pray about.