I'm having a bummer of a day. I don't really know why - nothing about my day has been horrible, in fact, I even got some really good news about a friend who is expecting after having lost her first baby. I've tried to look at the bright side, and count my blessings, and all those things. Then I realized something, I hadn't spent any time with God today. Usually that would snap me out of my bad mood, I would pray about it, or put on some music and worship - but today I just feel even more bummed that I forgot to hang out with God. Perhaps I can blame hormones, I'm not sure. I'm just having a rotten day.
I also feel discouraged. Sometimes I feel like I try so hard to be a great person, and it just backfires on me. I try to make everyone around me happy, and though they aren't complaining, they aren't exactly sending me praises either. I'm at my best when I'm on good terms with God, feeling lead by Him to do things for others, and then seeing them happy. I guess I haven't had any of those moments lately. Being discouraged sucks on so many different levels. It makes me want to quit trying, and dampens my mood. I know that this post isn't going to be profound in any way - and that makes me feel even more discouraged. I like it when I can post something that encourages YOU. But I don't have anything like that today. I just feel blue. Perhaps it was because we didn't go outside much today. It was windy, and neither James nor I are big fans of wind. Maybe I just didn't get enough vitamin D. Ya, maybe that's it.
I also don't like friendships "changing", "drifting away", or any of those other terms that people use, like "growing apart". I am a loyal-till-the-end friend. You can hurt me, and I'll stick by your side. You can go through something I'm not, and I'll try to follow along side you. You can move far away, and if you keep in touch, I most definately will. I don't like losing my friends. So, when I find out that I am, I get really, really sad. That's also a part of this I think too. I can sense that I'm losing a friend, I have no control over it, and I hurt.
7 comments :
hugs for you! i know how you're feeling and i always blame it on the weather - seems to make a huge difference for me to see sunshine without wind!
you're not losing me!! i'm actually moving CLOSER! :) yipppeeee!
Sorry you are sad. I'm gonna email
You said you weren't going to say anything profound or encouraging, but it was encouraging to me to read that you have days just like I do. I'm not alone in them...I'm not the only one...thanks.
I know exactly how you feel about losing a friend...I have been having that same situation for awhile now and it hurts like CRAZY! I want to fix the problem but just don't know how. Thank you for sharing.
oh heather! I wish I had some wise and happy words for you. It is hard to have friends drift away - especially when it's not because anything went wrong but just a change of life.
Well said, Heather. I agree that friendships changing is one of the toughest things to go through and it's just so awful that it feels like it's out of your control. Hang in there.
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