Modesty seems to be pretty hot, or should I say "going viral", on the internet these days. Even among Christians that I've seen posting articles and commenting on things online I see that there is a great divide among us when it comes to all things modest. I have a very strong view about it, and so with the utmost respect to all those who will not see eye-to-eye with me on this one - please do not post angry comments. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm just gonna write my opinion down here.
I've been feeling HUGELY convicted when it comes to modesty, and that comes from someone who has always felt really strongly about it!
God is calling to me to see the importance of my attire, how it looks to others, and how I want to be perceived by the world, my husband, my kids, my kid's friends, my friends, my friend's husbands... the list goes on. Right off the hop I will say this - I understand that we are not all convicted of the same things at the same time. I will not judge you if I see you in a bikini, nor will I judge your daughter if I happen to see her in shorts that barely cover her rear.
When I was in Bible College in 1999-2000, one of the guys from our brother dorm came to talk to us about modesty. I took some of what he said to heart, but at that time, and at that level of immaturity (both physically, and spiritually) I thought he was being pretty dramatic. I remember thinking, "Wow, this guy needs to get a grip and figure out his OWN problems!". How seriously selfish, inconsiderate, and very UN-CHRIST-LIKE was that attitude?!
He was a guy who had struggled with pornography, lust and other sinful desires in his life. He openly confessed to us many of the things that he had seen and done, and how that had affected him. He also gave us a long list of things that women do that provoke men to lustful thoughts - and they were A LOT tamer than I would have guessed. To name a few things that he mentioned as being the TOP reasons women cause men to lust: bra straps showing, spaghetti strap tank tops and dresses, bikinis, very short shorts, pierced belly buttons, and cleavage. You might already be mad that I've said "women CAUSE men to lust" because you might be thinking "that is THEIR problem, close your eyes, turn away, get some help". That's what I thought too. But that was then.
Now, as I watch a generation of teens growing up in a world where modesty seems to have been thrown out the window in order to conform, or maybe just to keep the peace, I see what we've lost. I'm seeing the value in something that we are losing more and more each day. Honestly, modesty is an endangered species. Not even Christians want to talk about it - let alone take action.
Today in church I took note of how many women had bra straps showing - IN CHURCH - which was totally NOT allowed when I was growing up, and that was on a regular weekday! Let me just say, it was lots. Little tank tops with cute pink bra straps peeking out. Racerback tanks, layered with another tank top, and more bra straps. Mothers in sundresses with bra straps fully exposed. Did you know that bras used to be considered PRIVATE, unspoken about in public? Why do you think the first thing feminists did was take off their bras and burn them? Because that was considered a seriously private matter for women's eyes only - and for their husbands behind closed doors. Now this one thing I do occassionally bend as a rule - because there are times when a strap will peek out. Personally I've bought some cheap little plastic clips that conceal my straps in nearly all situations. I don't usually wear spaghetti straps, because I'm "voluptuous" and my bra straps aren't cute and pink, so I don't want to show them off to begin with. However, I will be raising my own daughter to keep them hidden as much as possible - with church being a 100% hidden zone. The voluptuous thing is another whole problem, and I intend to work on keeping the "ladies" in their place, and unseen as much as possible.
I don't want my son to think about you in your bra - neither do I want your son thinking about me in mine. Or my daughter, or your daughter, or any women. Guys like bra straps because bra straps are attached to a bra, which holds the... well, you know!
Also in church today was one pair of REALLY short shorts. I don't really like them in public much either, but at least in those situations I can have grace. I actually like my legs - one of the few parts of my body I really like - so I do wear shorts. But they have to entirely cover my butt - even if I need to bend down! But seeing them in church... I don't know. I think in the house of God, our Creator, we could do better.
Moreover, I don't really want to get into all the different ways that I think the modesty line has been crossed. I just want us Christian women to consider our role to the men we encounter day-to-day. I want you to know that I respect you, your husband, brother, son enough to cover up so I don't cause him to stumble. I want us to remember that all the reasons we might have to flaunt our stuff always comes down to a selfish desire. When reading comments on a Christian woman's blog post about bikinis, all I could think about as I read them was that no one, and no where, was there any good way to make an argument for the wearing of a bikini (or any immodest dress for that matter) that could be backed up Scripturally. You just can't. There is nothing in the Bible that will advocate for the showing off of one's body. Now, that being said, I don't wear a bikini. The initial decision had nothing to do with modesty - but rather the knowledge that my post-baby belly just really isn't that good looking to most of the public! So perhaps it's easy for me to slam bikini wearing. Maybe I'd be spouting off about guys needing to get it together too, if I had a six pack. I'm not really sure.
What I do know is that I'm going to be practicing modesty, and teaching it to my kids. I want to encourage you to do the same. I'm asking you to think about this for the sake of my son, for my daughter, and for all those men out there who need our help.
Proverbs 11:22 ESV
Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.
1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
1 Timothy 2:8-10 ESVI desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
1 John 2:16 ESVFor all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.
Alright... I'm clicking "Publish". Hope I won't be sorry I did!
3 comments :
Amen! Well said! You should submit that to your local paper. I think people have wandered away from modesty after being over-exposed to it in the media for years. If they took the callousness of exposure away and got down to the heart of the matter they would be shocked at what has become 'normal' & 'appropriate' for them & their daughters!
I was so into reading what you wrote that I burnt the frying pan on the stove hahaha.. I agree with you 100% as well even though admittedly I sometimes slip up!
I love your passion as you write. How are you doing since our phone convo the other day?
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