So Much to Say!

Wow! It feels like it has been a long time since I've blogged. Maybe it's just because there has been a lot going on.
The big house painting project is nearly done. With the exception of a few minor things that need to get done, it looks fantastic! You can view some of the before and after photos here.

This week was very nice, with many sunny days to spend outside. My best friend Robin and I took our two little boys out to a farm and did a photoshoot with them. The photos turned out great - some of you have already seen them on my Facebook album. Here is the link for the rest of you if you want to see them (the one of James by the car is part of that photoshoot, I didn't want to put them on here, as I already had them on Facebook).

Many things have been on my mind lately. I've been challenged in my faith on many different levels this week. God has such a neat way of teaching us, especially through others. I've been challenged this week to:

Pray differently - I get so caught up in "ask and ye shall receive", that I forget to pray "Thy will be done". I really want to start focusing my prayers on thanking God for what He has given, praise Him for what He is going to do, and stop spending so much time trying to convince Him that I know what those things are!

Use my heart not my ears - Lately I've been spending a lot of time trying to hear God. I've been making such an effort to hear Him audibly speaking, that I've stopped hearing the "still small voice"! I've also been spending so much time listening for God to answer my questions, that I haven't been noticing Him subtly pointing out the answers. I've been self-absorbed in my problems, and without knowing it I made a nice open door for satan to feed me lies. I was so eager to hear God speaking that satan stepped in and started feeding me the answers I wanted from God. This lead me to believe that God had deceived me, when in fact, I hadn't even been hearing from God in the first place. I have learned two new things: "evil will come like a wolf in sheep's clothing", and when God speaks I'm SURE I'll know it!

Get into the Word - I am not a good Bible reader. I've been getting better at doing daily devotions, but after the last miscarriage that went down the tubes. I'm back at it again, but I still find it difficult to use the Bible as my sword to fight off daily attacks. I want to get better at that. I want my Biblical knowledge to be sharp, so I can use the Word and speak the Word more. My aunt gave me some really good insight about God's Word this week. I was telling her about how I wanted to hear more from God, and how I was mad at Him for deceiving me (see above), particularly in regards to the miscarriages, and how I thought He had told me the babies were going to make it. She reminded me that I can't expect God to just speak to me audibly all the time - there are times when the answers are right in front of me, and God wants me to go to His Word to find them. God gave us His Word for a REASON, not just as another means by which to fill our time when we're bored. The Word are His chosen promises for us, and we should look to it often. I want also to really start praying the Word, and claiming it's promises. I haven't done this much, and I need to. I believe that this can and will change my life, but I have to be diligent.

Fight off fears - Many diseases, and problems with the human body can be traced back to fear and anxiety. I would usually say that I am not a person who is very fearful. However, I believe that some spirit of fear (in regards to having children) has been lurking around me. My blog also became private because of a fear of losing James, or having him be victim to some kind of abuse - even if it was only his photos. I've probably been watching too much Without A Trace, and Law & Order: SVU. (Perhaps I need to be more convicted about watching shows like this?) These fears have been manifesting in me, and although they may be justified, I don't want to live under them. "God has not given us a spirit of fear", "If God is for us, than who can be against us?". I want to start getting rid of these fears, and allow God to completely rule my thoughts. This is a big task, and not an overnight one at that! Wish me luck on this journey!