I was hit with a very out-of-the-ordinary anxiety attack today. It's not that unusual for me to be anxious - it's a weakness that I have been working to overcome - but I don't usually get anxiety about my home! Today I suddenly just felt completely overwhelmed with the state of my home. Everywhere I looked I just saw dirty floors, crumbs on the carpets, cobwebs hanging, splattered mirrors, neglected toilets, tubs, and shower... I just felt like slumping to the floor and giving up. I guess I used to be somewhat of a neat-freak, but since James came along I've really been able to give up that side of me. For a long time my mom would take James once a week so that I could spend time cleaning the house. Now that summer is here though, she hasn't had time to do that, and I've been outdoors a lot of the time too - it just seems that the dirt has caught up with me, and I feel totally disgusted. All that being said, I have no ambition to do anything about it. Maybe I've developed a lazy bone?! I just look at it all, feel overwhelmed and anxious, and then think "I don't want to do it though". What is wrong with me? Maybe just the rainy weather? Anyway, I don't think I have a point to my post - just venting about my dirty house, and my lack of ambition to clean it. I also have no ambition to cook either. Anyone else have THAT problem too?!
Monday, August 11
Anxiety Attack
I was hit with a very out-of-the-ordinary anxiety attack today. It's not that unusual for me to be anxious - it's a weakness that I have been working to overcome - but I don't usually get anxiety about my home! Today I suddenly just felt completely overwhelmed with the state of my home. Everywhere I looked I just saw dirty floors, crumbs on the carpets, cobwebs hanging, splattered mirrors, neglected toilets, tubs, and shower... I just felt like slumping to the floor and giving up. I guess I used to be somewhat of a neat-freak, but since James came along I've really been able to give up that side of me. For a long time my mom would take James once a week so that I could spend time cleaning the house. Now that summer is here though, she hasn't had time to do that, and I've been outdoors a lot of the time too - it just seems that the dirt has caught up with me, and I feel totally disgusted. All that being said, I have no ambition to do anything about it. Maybe I've developed a lazy bone?! I just look at it all, feel overwhelmed and anxious, and then think "I don't want to do it though". What is wrong with me? Maybe just the rainy weather? Anyway, I don't think I have a point to my post - just venting about my dirty house, and my lack of ambition to clean it. I also have no ambition to cook either. Anyone else have THAT problem too?!
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14 comments :
I have that problem ALL THE TIME! I used to clean my house every Thursday - so that during the weekend I had a clean place. But now since Annika has graced us with her lovely, yet messy, presence - my motivation to clean up after her is 'ZERO'! I mean, I do what has to get done - dishes, laundry, vacuuming...but for the most part, our house is quite untidy most days. I hope you can find some motivation, but try not to stress over it TOO much - you're being a great mom to James, spending time with his outdoors...that's something to be very happy about.
ur not alone... praying for you.
Im forever feeling overwelmed and sometimes get upset and just ill because of the never ending duties in the home. I think the Lord uses these times to shape us into the daughters He wants :-)
Oh- sorry you had a nasty day! See... if it wouldn't have been raining, we would have been outside walking, and not thinking about house work :)
I totally relate about housework tho. But, just for the record, every time I've been at your place, its been very nice and tidy. You are doing a great job sista, keep it up!!
I am so glad to hear that other people have the same problems too! I definitely look forward to my kids getting back to school and getting back to routine, cause I am so not into anything but chillin...
Yes, I have that problem too. I complain about my mess but am too lazy to clean by myself. When I ask Trev for help he things the house is clean and doesn't need it. Oh well. Your house looks cleaner than mine all the time. I love you.
You are not alone at all Heather! I am a very organized, clean person by nature too and it drives me nuts that I can't keep my house clean and organized all the time! It is something that I am learning not to stress too much over...one day I hope!
I think the thing about having the kinds of busy boys that we do, is that we are in fact cleaning ALL THE TIME, just to keep things semi-normal, nevermind all the "extras". There are days I look around shortly before my husband gets home and feel dumb, cuz it looks like I haven't done anything all day, when the reality is, I've been following Daniel around picking up mess after mess after mess after mess after mess after mess.... ok you get it. It's a season. I've heard the saying "trying to keep your house clean with small kids is like shoveling in a snow storm". Ring true?
If James is anywhere near as busy as Daniel and makes anywhere close to the amount of little messes everywhere, then props to you if you can even manage time for clean dishes. Or are those dirty too? lol :)
I constantly feel that way. Even when I have some time to myself and I know my house is a disaster, I really should clean it but just don't! I get done what absolutely needs it but I would much rather spend my free time reading a good book then cleaning a toilet.
I feel the same way about meals. I hate cooking in summer... it's too hot to make "winter food" as I call it, and then I end up making nothing!
my dearest heather....
I can totally relate to everything you just said. Juggling the house duties with outside duties, plus being outside and enjoying the summer is a hard adjustment. take it easy and just remember that you're not alone. I had some fellow bloggers encourage me when I was just recently feeling like you are now. (it comes about once a month at least!) They said to rememeber that the summer will be over soon and your kids will never be the age they are now again. So just relax, enjoy the summer, enjoy your children. Fall will be here with the hustle and bustle before I know it.
It'll get done. my dear friend, 'flowerlady' (you can find her link on my blog) she has 6 kids. I think of her often when I want to complain about laundry or dishes or dirty toilets, because she has 4 busy boys and a baby girl! She has learned and still learning to let go by God's grace. Take time to sit with God in his lap or by his feet and let him remind you of the important things in life....marriage, kids, and Him!!!
next time i have a moment, I will post it just for you k? (it may be today.....you never know~!)
oh my...i totally went on a rant on my family yesterday about this exact thing. i told them all i was tired of being their maid! i simply can't keep up with 3 people in our house and then get to the point that i am too lazy cause i'm so overwhelmed. hope you can find a way out of the slump, and if you do...give me some hints!!!
I can completely relate to how you're feeling. I'm pretty much a neat freak and I thought that while Chad was away I'd take some time to clean the apartment. All I managed to do was clean the bathroom the day before he came home. So much for being productive. I wanted it to be clean; I just couldn't seem to muster the interest to do it myself. Oh, and I NEVER feel like cooking :P
I could have written this post-you're not alone ;)
I think most moms at some point or another deal with this. Especially when you have young kids like us, it's hard to keep on top of all the stuff! When the kids get old enough to just send them outside or to play a video game or something, I think it becomes easier, but still it's a challenge because it's so mundane. Believe me, I as well could hav written this post! lol The big thing is not to get overwhelmed...which I know is tough, because I used to be a lot cleaner than I am now...but that was before kids! haha
It will work itself out, when James gets older you'll have an easier time with it! Just don't sweat the small stuff...enjoy your times outside with James and spend time with your hubby! It'll eventually all get done!
Love ya!
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