Beach & Water Park

"Uncle Mat-you" and "Auntie 'Cedes" were out this weekend for a wedding. James had fun bonding with Uncle Matt at the beach on Sunday.

After getting all our stuff cleaned up to go, James was concerned that he wasn't "helping mommy" - so we found the lightest item for him to carry, and then he was happy.

On Monday we had a playdate with Carla and her son Gabriel at a waterpark in Winnipeg. I met Carla online, as our boys are both born within days of each other in November, 2006.

James LOVED the waterpark!

James & Gabriel hanging out.

Dancing Bible Study Divas

Well, after my post about the house-cleaning anxiety I decided to take action. I decided I would try to accomplish one chore - vacuuming. It's quick and easy, and I can do it while James is running around. So, I vacuumed our basement. It felt so good to get one thing done, that before I knew it I had cleaned the toilets, baked an apple crisp, and made a really yummy supper from scratch. It felt good, and now for some reason the house seems 100x cleaner!

I had Bible study at my place last night, and we had a great time - especially because Rebekah was back, and joined us again. I had just come home from Winnipeg, and I told the girls that as I drove home and listened to Christian tunes I just felt really moved by the Spirit. I was sad to get home and turn off the music - it was just feeling so good to be tuned in to God through music. Before long, the group of us was singing together. It sounded beautiful, and I'm sure none of us would claim to be singers! I then popped in a CD with a fantastic upbeat song called "Your Love is Beautiful", that has a "streets of Heaven" worthy bongo section in the middle. Wouldn't you know it - the Spirit lead us to get up and start dancing! So there we were, four girls dancing around my basement, singing, shouting out to God, laughing, and just having a great time in God's presence. What a blessing that was! Sometimes I'm saddened that my Mennonite roots suppress those urges to just get up and dance with Jesus. I do it all the time on my own in the privacy of my kitchen - but why is it so hard to do when others are watching? All that matters is what God thinks. From now on I am going to try a little harder to let my "charismatic" side show a little more.

Anxiety Attack

I was hit with a very out-of-the-ordinary anxiety attack today. It's not that unusual for me to be anxious - it's a weakness that I have been working to overcome - but I don't usually get anxiety about my home! Today I suddenly just felt completely overwhelmed with the state of my home. Everywhere I looked I just saw dirty floors, crumbs on the carpets, cobwebs hanging, splattered mirrors, neglected toilets, tubs, and shower... I just felt like slumping to the floor and giving up. I guess I used to be somewhat of a neat-freak, but since James came along I've really been able to give up that side of me. For a long time my mom would take James once a week so that I could spend time cleaning the house. Now that summer is here though, she hasn't had time to do that, and I've been outdoors a lot of the time too - it just seems that the dirt has caught up with me, and I feel totally disgusted. All that being said, I have no ambition to do anything about it. Maybe I've developed a lazy bone?! I just look at it all, feel overwhelmed and anxious, and then think "I don't want to do it though". What is wrong with me? Maybe just the rainy weather? Anyway, I don't think I have a point to my post - just venting about my dirty house, and my lack of ambition to clean it. I also have no ambition to cook either. Anyone else have THAT problem too?!

Meet Ike...

The latest addition to our family.

And Now to Answer...

In my last post I asked people to ask me some questions. I have spent some time thinking about each of your questions while on our recent trip to Calgary, and now I get to answer them! It was fun to do this little project, but I was hoping for a few more questions. I know that my blog has been a bit boring this summer, due to most of my time being spent outside, and computer issues. Perhaps I've lost some of my audience. Anyway, just so you know, this photo of James was taken at the Calgary Zoo. I thought I would post it so that this long post wouldn't be so boring. Anyway, here goes.

Rebekah asked me to talk about what I'd like to accomplish before I die. Before having James, the one and only thing I ever really wanted to accomplish was to have a baby. Now I have done that, but the next thing I'd like to accomplish is having another one! I loved being pregnant, and I enjoyed labour/delivery very much (yes, without drugs). I'd also really love to see Ryan and I design our own home, and have it built. I would also love to reach as many people as I can for Christ, simply by living a life that reflects Him in all I do - be it walking the street, writing on my blog, or playing with my son. I have a lot of work to do on that - it will likely take up the rest of my life. I'd love to see more of the world - but it's hard for me to say what I'd like to see most. I think I'd really love France, Italy and Spain.

Nin asked me what my most powerful "God moment" has been. I had to think about that for a long time, because every God moment is powerful! I didn't want to be cliché and say that it was the moment James was born - but that was ultimately the most amazing miracle I have ever witnessed. I think that the most powerful God moment I ever had was one evening when I was questioning God about my salvation. I was standing at the front window of our house praying, and listening to my iPOD. God told me to put my iPOD on shuffle, and that He would speak through the next song that played. I wrote down which song it was, but I can't find it right now - needless to say, it was the perfect song from God. As the song played, I felt God tell me to read a certain verse in the Bible. Anyone who knows me knows that I DO NOT know references from the Bible, so the reference God gave me meant nothing when I heard Him say it. When I went to read it (expecting it to be a verse that meant nothing like, "And Joshua was the son of Levi, and Levi the song of John, and John the son of...", you get it), it said "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". This was my firm affirmation that God plans not to harm me, and that I WILL see Heaven. It was very, very powerful!

Nin also asked what I would rather do, eat a bar of soap, or drink a bottle of dish detergent. I spent WAY too much time thinking about this! Hahaha! At first I thought I'd rather drink detergent, because it would be faster I think than chewing a bar of soap. Plus, dish detergent can come in good flavours like green apple (which I currently own). But then I thought about the small travel sized soaps, like from a hotel, and I think I'd rather eat a small one like that than drink an entire bottle of detergent. Does that answer the question, Nin?

Janelle asked me who has made the biggest influence on my life - spiritually, emotionally, etc. Of course, I could make the cliché answer again and say "Jesus"! But I decided to narrow it down to someone I know here on earth. That answer also required much thought, but in the end I would have to say that my dad has been my biggest influence. We don't see eye-to-eye on everything, but I would have to say that I have always really wanted to walk in his footsteps. He is spiritually strong - and I have admired how he has made certain choices in his life to keep himself morally pure, even when everyone else around him was saying it was okay (he has never consumed alcohol, smoked, done any drugs, etc.). My dad is also the most patient and gentle-natured person I've ever met. I can't really remember him ever raising his voice - ever. He is kind, loves kids, loves people, and always wants to give people the very best that he can offer them, even if that puts him behind. I've had the privilege of working with him, and he is a great boss. He is fair, sometimes too fair, and doesn't hold grudges. I love my dad, and I think that a lot of the things I've learned from him have made me a better person.

Jodi asked if it was weird that she reads my blog, but has never commented before. I don't think it's weird at all! I know that I have many lurkers, and I always hope and pray that I have things to say that will bless everyone who comes across my blog - whether I know you or not. I haven't gone private with my blog for this very reason - I want everyone to be welcome. It may not stay open forever, but I am glad that you come and read about my (sometimes boring) life - and the struggles and joys that I go through each day. Thank you for being a loyal reader, and for thinking that my blog is interesting enough to come and read on a regular basis. And thank you for finally commenting, it's nice to "meet" you. God bless!

Thanks for the questions ladies! I'd still gladly take more if anyone is interested. That was a lot of fun!

Open for Questioning

So I've been in a blogger lurch with little to say lately. It's mostly just that summer is finally here, and I spend most of my time outside with James. I love summer! However I want to write about something, but have no inspiration. What would YOU like to hear about? Ask me about something, and I'll try to come up with a decent blog post about it. I'm open to your questions, big or small. I don't promise to answer all of them, but I'll do my best. Oh, and keep it clean.

Picture Post

James watching the Morris Stampede parade.

The "lellow car" at the Manitoba Children's Museum.

The train table at the Children's Museum.

James' reaction when mommy took him away from the train table for a posed photo.

My precious son in the sun.

Happy 20 Months James!

Wow - where is the time going?! I have a 20 month-old. He is fabulous! I have a million things to say about him, but I also have no time. My internet is still not working all the time, we have family out visiting... and well, I have a toddler running the household! It's so much fun - each day just gets better and better with him. My favourite thing in the world is hearing him talking, especially when he says "Thank you mommy", with a big grin. James is one HUGE blessing from God.

Thank you Lord for my beautiful son. He means the world, and more, to us!

The Shack: Is It Heresy?

It was brought to my attention this week that there are people from the church that believe that William Paul Young's book "The Shack" is filled with heretic teaching. I was very concerned, because I had readily advertised this book as a must-read, and I would not be happy to endorse any book that had any message other than truth.

After doing my own research, and reading several articles that pointed out the apparent heretical teachings of the book, I decided to ask someone that I trust. She is a very deep-rooted Christian, very wise, and I look to her for spiritual guidance when I am unsure. She told me that she was so glad I had asked, because she had just recently taped an interview with William Paul Young on "Life Today", with James and Betty Robison. She told me that the interview had been really fantastic, and that Mr. Young seemed to have his doctrines straight. He does not confess to have written a theological masterpiece - but simply just his own interpretation of who God is to him, and how he had learned from his own baggage from the past. You can download and watch the interviews here. They are from July 14th & 15th.

I also believe that Mr. Young is not a heretic. I don't agree with all of his ideas and opinions in his book, but I like most of it - and I still recommend it! Something that my trusted friend said really stuck out to me. She said, "I believe when God is doing a great work, the enemy is always there too and messes up the minds of the people". I believe that this is true of "The Shack", and also with the work of Todd Bentley.

What I've learned is to take the time to pray through things that you question. God will not lead you astray, so if something doesn't feel right - then perhaps it is not. At the same time, sometimes things that don't feel right can be Satan masking the truth. Ask God to give you clarity, and He will. He wants us to WALK IN THE LIGHT. I am always amazed by how God is so happy to let me know when something is of truth or of darkness. I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise, but I am still just getting to know this God who speaks. He is amazing!

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

Living the Good Life

Life here has been mostly "sunshine & roses" lately. I feel like we've come to a nice plateau right now - a very comfortable groove. James' sleep schedule is fairly routine now, with the occasional early morning, but nothing too serious. We spend most mornings walking around town doing errands, and visiting grandpa Kroeker at work. We get back in time to play a little bit before lunchtime. I've discovered that James isn't a picky eater, but he is picky about textures. Right now he basically lives off of various forms of pasta and sauces, chunky soups, peas, corn, beans, cheese, apple sauces and yogurt. He's got his mommy's sweet tooth - and loves anything sweet, so I really have to limit his sugar intake. He goes down for his nap like a charm, and usually naps for 1.5-2 hours. After naptime we have a snack, and then we meet up with "Auntie Robin" and Jaxson for a nice long afternoon walk. If the boys aren't enjoying the outdoors, then it often turns into a playdate indoors. Once we get home James will play outside, or watch a DVD (only Elmo's World will do) until suppertime at 6:00pm. Then it's time for our walk to the playground, where James gets out the last of his energy before bedtime at 9:00pm. It's really a glorious routine, and I can say that this part of being a mommy is my favourite!

Other things that are making me happy these days is my hubby. We don't always see eye-to-eye, but lately it just feels like we are on the same page. The communication lines seems to be functioning well, and we seem to be operating like the team we always dreamed we could be. He's a great daddy, a hard worker, and a good friend. I love you honey!

I am also getting to know God better and better. He keeps revealing to me how easy it is to follow Him. I used to think it was work, but these days it just feels like the easiest and most natural thing to do. Not every day is like that, I'm still growing - but He feels so near right now, and I love that "peace that passes understanding" that comes along with that. I'm really learning to talk to Him about everything, even the dumb little things. It also seems like the more I just let Him do the work, the more opportunities for ministering fall into my lap. I don't always take His bait though, and I'm working on listening to Him closer. I also feel that God has been revealing His true heart to me as well. Many of us imagine a big, powerful King on a throne lording over us and telling us what to do. I'm finding that God really isn't so much like that, but rather more like a good friend - walking beside us, calling us up to chat, and going for coffee. Some of these things became clearer to me after reading "The Shack" by William P. Young. Go and get it - you'll like it.

I appreciated being able to share some of this new-found knowledge in the comments section of my previous post titled "Still Without Internet". Someone questioned my belief of Todd Bentley's recent healing escapade, including raising a few people from the dead. What has really become clear to me is two things:

1. Humans cannot perform miracles, but God can - and He can use people to do it. I don't believe that Todd Bentley can heal people at all. However, he believes that God can, so he has let God use him for this purpose. A phrase that has resonated with me lately is "Not me, but Christ in me".

2. God has only one purpose in mind, and that is to bring glory to His Kingdom. As surprising as it might be to some, God is not actually in the business of giving us everything that we ask Him for. He wants to give us everything that will make us happy - but only if it is a righteous request. Because God has that fabulous ability to see the "BIG PICTURE", He can see just how everything that happens to use will mold our futures - and the futures of others. Thus, if I ask Him to heal a loved one, God can do it - but He will ONLY do it if it will bring the greatest amount of glory to His Kingdom. It's not all about us people - it's about building the future Kingdom of God, and He wants ALL of us to be there.

So anyway, those were my thoughts for today. It's verging on preachy, so I have to stop there. I love you all very much - God bless you and keep you!

Good Moves

A few of James' latest comments:

- After hearing me burp, he laughed and said "Mommy BIG burp... buuuuuuuurrrrrppp! Mommy funny!".

- I told my friend, "James talks all the time", to which James pops his head into the door from another room and confirms "ALL the time".

- We got our new "orange van", and James loves it. We were pulling into our driveway after a ride around town when James started crying "More rides! More rides!".

- I am still without internet, and have been using my parent's computer. While I was here today, I came out of the computer room to see what grandma and James were up to. James took my hand, lead me back into the room, pushed me into the chair and said, "No all done, Mommy, computer". And then left to go play with grandma some more!

Still without Internet

Well, so far I am still without internet access at home. I feel SO out of touch! I can't blog, read blogs, receive email, send email, check Facebook, check websites... it's incredibly frustrating. I now see just how much of my time is used for computer-related things, and how much I rely on it for information and communication. It's not a bad thing, I only use the computer while James is napping or in bed for the night. So I've found myself a little bored while he is sleeping, but I have been trying to make better use out of the extra time, which usually means that I also take a nap!

Some things we've been up to lately have been being outside LOTS, taking many walks in the stroller, playing in the pool in the backyard, visiting grandparents and friends, going to the Zoo, and on Sunday we went to the beach. James loves being outside, and could spend ALL day outside. Unfortunately, sunscreen and chlorine cause his eczema to really flare up - to we have to limit his time in direct sun quite a bit (thank goodness for the stroller), and we can't spend too much time in Ryan's parents pool. It has all worked out though, and James seems to love his little backyard pool a lot.

I can't believe he's nineteen months old now! He is still the star of the show wherever we go. He is a real people person, and smiles and talks to everyone he sees. He is really good with remembering names, some favourites being "Becca", "Menno" (my uncle), "Robert" (Ryan's young cousin), and "Mike" (a guy who works for my dad). He is talking non-stop, and there is no limit to his vocabulary at this point. He will repeat anything and everything we say, and consistently says "no" or "okay" when we ask him questions. He has been sleeping really well, usually from 9:00pm to about 7:30am. He is still taking a 1.5 - 2 hour afternoon nap as well. It's been really, really nice to have a good and consistent sleep schedule.

James also loves animals, and was thrilled to visit several "puppies" on the beach yesterday. He is not afraid of any animals, except if the dogs are excited - then he will keep a distance. At the zoo he would gladly go into each and every cage. Perhaps he will be a vet, or a zoo keeper!

Our summer is slowly getting busier and busier. We have several weddings to attend, and a few short vacations planned. I am excited about a trip to Calgary we are taking with my parents in July, to visit my brother, and his girlfriend too. I want to take James to the Calgary Zoo, which I believe is one of the best zoos in the world. Don't quote me on that. I also hope to spend some time at IKEA, get to the top of the Calgary tower, go on many walks with James, and spend some time with my family.

I have been growing in my faith tremendously as well. A few weeks ago my friend Robin and I went to a special evening at a church in Winkler. Maybe some of you have heard of the huge revival happening at the Ignited Church in Lakeland, Florida with Todd Bentley. You can find a lot of videos of it on YouTube. There has been a huge outpouring of the Holy Spirit there, with many people being healed - a few have even been risen from dead! Anyway, a group from Winnipeg went down to Florida, and came back with a message to spread the power, gifts and healing from the Spirit. So, they had a service in Winkler to which we attended. It was a really awesome time of worship, and it felt so filled with the Spirit that many people, including myself, felt inclined to take off our shoes. The main part of the evening was something they called the "tunnel of fire". They formed a lineup of people praying, and each person walked through the line. Each person would pray over us, share words from God, and give blessings. We could go through several times if we wanted to. My first time through the line, I was blessed with words from God confirming that I can be a leader, a disciple, and a shepherd. I have been doubting my ability to do this - but God has faith in me! My second time through each person seemed to sense my desire for more children, and healing was prayed over me. One woman touched my tummy, and told me good things were to come. Another woman speaking in tongues told me that God will "impregnate your womb with His word... with His love... with miracles... with healing". It was a great night, and I was really inspired afterward to share that outpouring of the Spirit. A couple of weeks later, at Bible Study, God directly answered some prayers within a few minutes. This felt like a sign from Him, and it was a really emotional moment for me to see Him working, and answering my request within twenty minutes of it being said (sorry, can't go into details as it is confidential, and involves other people).

So that is the big long post of all that is going on here while I am without internet at home. Don't lose touch - I will hopefully be up and running really soon! Pray that someone can figure out what is going on with the silly connections.

Technical Difficulties

Sorry my posts have been rather sparse! One of our trees has sprung it's leaves, and is now blocking our internet connection. We hope to have that branch removed soon so that I can be back online again. Wish us luck - that branch is REALLY high up!

A Word from God for You

I've been totally into reading lately. Reading sort of comes and goes for me - I'm not always in a reading mood. A book also has to grab my attention within the first few pages too, otherwise I lose interest very quickly and I won't pick it up again.

I have been loving the book "Can You Hear Me?" by Brad Jersak. The changes I have found in my prayer life have been amazing. The things that I used to think were figments of my imagination have now germinated into actual ideas and suggestions from GOD! I never knew that my imagination could be used by God to communicate with me (duh, He created my imagination). It's been really a phenomenal journey, and I highly recommend the book. I was praying today specifically for all my blogger friends. God gave me this verse for you - yes, you - the one who is reading this right now:

So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 (The Message)

I also just recently finished reading "The Shack", by William P. Young. This book offered me a LOT of food-for-thought! I reread a lot of the book, because I found that the concepts wouldn't sink in upon my initial reading of it. It is a fictional story, but I think it is based on a true incident. If you want a BRAND new idea of God, and what He thinks and feels, this book is for you. I don't agree with all aspects of the book, so I'd be curious to hear from you if you've read it. Or, go out and read it and get back to me about it! It is a book that could be read by anyone, Christian or not.

GROSS!

James' first woodtick. Click on the photo for a larger, and more disgusting view.

Summertime Fun

The Friesens & the Pletts - we'll miss you guys.

(To get both boys to look at the camera we put a toy sheep on top of it!)

Um, James... you are totally in the picture.

I picked up this Little Tikes water play table in Grand Forks for $29!

Playing with Isaiah.

The boys in the 'hood - James (18 mths), Jaxson (4.5 mths) & Isaiah (13 mths)

Busy Boys

Our friends and neighbours Trevor, Rebekah and Isaiah came over last night for supper. It was our last time together as families before they leave on missions. We had a really great time with them - but the boys seemed to have an especially good time. Below is just a glimpse of what these two boys can accomplish in just two and a half minutes.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

The Last Couple of Weeks

The past few weeks have been very busy, and at the same time I feel like God is teaching me so many things.

My brother Matthew and his girlfriend Mercedes came out to visit for a week. Mercedes is from Mexico, and just recently moved to Calgary where my brother now lives. She is trying to get settled in while looking for a job, but they decided first to come visit for my grandma's wedding. James adored both of them, and it was so nice to have a few extra hands to entertain him during the week. He still asks for "Matt" and "Cedes".

My grandma got married last week Friday, at 74 years old. My cousin and I were her bridesmaids, which was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I am so happy for her, as she has been single for 35 years. Her husband John is an absolute sweetheart - he writes her poems, sings to her, and has that charming eye-twinkle that is so endearing. (In the photo from left-right: my cousin Heidi, myself, my grandma, John, John's sons Reg and Randy).

Amidst all this good stuff, my very good friend's mother passed away from cancer. Her mom was also a very good friend of my mom, and I knew her as "auntie". She knew she has little time to live, and yet when my mom called to tell me that she had passed away during the night I was still shocked. I've been feeling really helpless in knowing how to love and support my friend. I'm terrible with words when it comes to death and sympathy - I just don't know what to say. However, the funeral was actually really inspiring to me. I came away with a new appreciation for God, and how I want to be more open in talking to people about Him.

God has been continuously giving me an image of a drop of water falling into a pool. So many times throughout our lives we question the "big picture", and why we have to experience certain things. God has told me that our actions can speak louder than words. We will never know, until it is revealed to us in Heaven, how our actions, words, and life affected those around us. It is like the drop of water falling into a pool. That drop of water is like our life (our actions, how we treat people, our words, etc). The ripples that the drop of water makes are like the people that we touch and plant seeds in. We can never see where that ripple ends... just like we may never see how things we've done have impacted others. But somewhere along the line, something we've done will affect someone - and so it makes me SO much more aware of things I say, and do. Just because my life may not directly impact someone to make a decision for Christ, my life might affect someone else, who then affects someone else... until finally it affects a person I don't know to decide to follow Christ. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I spent this past weekend in Grand Forks with my mom, two of my aunts, two cousins, and a family friend. We literally shopped until we dropped, and had a great time. It was my first weekend away from James, while he stayed with daddy. I really enjoyed it, even though I missed him like crazy. When I got home, it felt like I had missed a month of his life - he seemed so grown up! He is madly teething right now, getting his eye teeth. He also seems to be on an eating strike, so I am making my goal this week to be getting him off pureed foods, and onto table food.

Eighteen Months

There has been a lot going on in our lives lately. It's been a week or two of emotional ups and downs, and I haven't had the energy or ambition to blog about it. However, I could HARDLY let James' 18 month birthday go by without a post! James is everything we could ask for in a son, and far more. He keeps us laughing constantly. His latest antics mostly revolve around his talking. He is talking A LOT! He really says almost anything we say, as well as having memorized a few books already. He sings a song my mom taught him called "Wind, Wind, Wind the Thread", and does all the actions. If you ask him what he likes to watch on TV, he will say with great enthusiasm "HOCKEEEEEY!". I have about a million things I could say about him, but above all, I am so proud to be his mommy. I love every day that God gives us with James. My cousin Leanne was here today taking photos - I can't wait to show them to you!

I'm a Believer!

James has had dry skin and eczema since he was pretty much a newborn. It isn't severe, although his first breakout was terrible while we tried to find solutions to the problem. We've been able to keep it under control using the following "rules": James has to wear 100% cotton most of the time, but especially at night and in the summer. All his clothes (and now ours as well) are washed with Tide Free, a detergent without any fragrances or dyes. I also use no fabric softener. Up until now, I only used Johnson's Baby Wash on him, and ONLY to wash his hair and diaper area. He only gets a bath 2 times a week. After his baths, we would lather him in Glaxal Base cream. On flare-ups I would use a prescription hydrocorisone cream. Also, he can only wear Huggies Natural Fit diapers, and unscented wipes. That WAS our ritual, but I am now a firm believer in something new!

I sort of stumbled across a website that advertised a great soap for people with eczema. After reading all the reviews, I decided I would order some online. I was excited when I saw that they had an actual store in Winnipeg, at Polo Park mall! We went there on Saturday, and I purchased their eczema treatment package which contained a bar of soap, and a stick of body butter (as seen in the photo). The price was reasonable, and I was willing to try anything. I used the soap on James on Sunday, and was very nervous that it would cause a major flare-up. Bar soaps are SO horrible on his skin! I did it anyway, and then put the body butter on all his eczema spots. His worst ones were behind his knees, and they were quite red. I continued to put the body butter on at each diaper change. Today, his eczema is GONE. That's right folks, it might sound like an info-mercial, but it is completely gone! I am so excited, I've been telling everyone about Rocky Mountain Soap Company, Pumpkin Patch Soap, and their unscent Body Butter. It's an answer to prayer!

They also have a line of baby products, with soap and body butter for babies. I am definately going to use it when we have baby No.2, if God blesses us that way.

My Mother's Day Speech

So this is what I've come up with to say in church tomorrow. I dedicate it to all my mommy readers. Happy Mother's Day to all of you! I love you!

What does motherhood mean to me? Wow. That is such a hard question to come up with a half-decent answer for! Motherhood means a million things to me. I thought about talking about what Motherhood doesn’t mean to me – like sleeping in on Saturday mornings, clean floors, fancy suppers, or being able to listen to an entire church service uninterrupted. I thought about how motherhood makes me love things I never thought I could love – like crumbs on the rug, boogers on my shirt, and toys all over the house. But I love these things because they are proof that my son lives in our home. Having him, and the joy he brings, is impossible to describe. To us he is a treasure, a miracle, just amazing. He is what makes me a mom – and I love being his mom.

I have a blog on the internet, and this week I asked my readers what motherhood means to them. These are just a few snippets from the responses I got, and I had to completely agree with all of them.

Motherhood truly fulfills me, and brings out the best in me. It's got to be the BEST job in the world! It’s rewarding, irreplaceable, indescribable. A God-given role, a privilege, an honor. Blessed beyond measure. Best of all, my children love me despite my short comings and feel thankful to have me in their lives.

It’s the greatest gift I have ever recieved. Being a mommy sometimes is so very challenging but yet is something that is the most rewarding. Indescribable joy that can never be replaced.

Another woman said, “Motherhood has finally driven home the true power and meaning of God's sacrifice of his son. When I really think about just how overwhelming my love for my son is, and realize that God loves all of us like that and infinitely more, and because of that love he sent his Son to suffer and die for us. It makes any frustration of motherhood completely disappear. I don't think anything but parenthood would have driven that message home in such a way.”

For myself, I know that motherhood changed how I see God, and how I want Him to see me. Motherhood pushed me to know God intimately, and to seek Him with all my heart so that I can learn how to better take care of my son. Motherhood has pushed me to take up the motto “Fully Rely on God”. Motherhood made me realize that I want to stand before God one day, and know that I did all I could to show Christ’s love to my children, that they would want that same love in their lives. Motherhood made me realize that I want my children to rise up and call me blessed. Motherhood made me realize that I want nothing more in my life than to be able to confidently say to my children, “Come, take my hand and follow me”.

A verse that has helped me through the mystery of motherhood has been James 1:5. I keep it on my fridge, and I read it daily. I like the Message version, which says “If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open”.

So to all you mother’s out there, or soon-to-be-mothers, mothers of adopted children, mothers who have angel children, or those that are hoping-to-one-day-be-a-mother, happy mother’s day to you. May God richly bless you today – you deserve it.

I Need Your Help!

I've been asked to say a few words in church on Sunday about "What Motherhood Means to Me". I don't really know in what direction I want to go with it, and I'm looking for inspiration. What does motherhood mean to you? This is a question for moms, soon-to-be-moms, dreaming-of-being-a-mommy, or perhaps just something about your own mom.

It's Ordered!

Friday Photoshoot

A BIG Mistake

I decided that I was allowed to get a treat for myself at SuperStore yesterday. As I made my way through the aisles, I thought about what I wanted to treat myself with. At first I thought, "flip flops!". I went into the clothing section on the lookout for some new shoes. Sadly, there were no flip flops that interested me. Then I thought, "A book!". So I went to the book section, but didn't have the patience to look through all of them in hopes of finding something I'd like. And then it hit me! Following the leading of what could only be my "Aunt Flo is coming soon" hormone-induced craving, I found myself parked in front of the freezers. I'm not proud of what happened next, but it looked just like this...What a BIG mistake! This treat seems to be making frequent half-hour visits out of the freezer, as well as loosely being labelled "breakfast" and "lunch". In all honesty, I wasn't really concerned about the 290 calories per 125mL serving until I had polished off half the container - and realized that was about 250mL. This little wicked delight packs into one small pint a mix of both chocolate and vanilla ice cream, laced with brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough. Wow. It's amazing, actually. So thanks to Ben & Jerry for making me the happiest ate-too-much-ice cream-tummy-aching woman in town. I was bloated before the ice cream binge, but now I find myself having to crack open the fly on my jeans just to breath. Ick.

So if you are looking for a yummy treat today, don't delay! Get to your nearest Ben & Jerry's dealer and pick up a pint of Half Baked. Nothing would really make me feel better than knowing I have company in my gluttony. Enjoy!

Reconciliation is Good

I met up with a friend this week whom I haven't connected with in a while. In the last year or so we had grown distant, and it was nice to catch up and enjoy a walk together. I hadn't intended on talking about the distance that had grown between us, but the moment came where it felt right to bring it up. I shared with her the circumstances for which I had sort of put her on the "back burner", and I told her that I missed her. I was somewhat expecting her to be angry, and to come back at me with hurtful words - not that she is that type of person, but that was what I believe Satan wanted me to think. Instead, she told me that she too was missing me, and that she had been feeling a little hurt over the fact that I had pulled away. I promised her that I was definately going to make sure that we would now reconnect. That reconciliation felt so incredibly good that I had to call her this morning and thank her for making it so easy! I was so proud of us for talking openly, with love and compassion, and above all - with maturity. I felt like I could feel God just smiling down on us, as two of His daughters made amends the way He would have wanted us to. It's been almost like a drug to me today - I just feel good inside.

Thank you Lord for friends. Thank you for the reconciliation I could have this week. Thank you that this is exactly what you have done for us.

James does his Chores

To have a toddler-sized Swiffer sweeper, simply remove the middle two sections of the handle. Voila! Hours of sweeping entertainment (okay, well at least a few minutes anyway). The floor was actually cleaner once James was done!

Heather Recommends

The following is a list of books that our ladies Bible study group has taken over the years. Each of these books have been really amazing, and I just wanted to share with you a little bit about each one - and how it impacted me. Hopefully you'll be inspired to pick one up (or all of them), and grow a little bit in your walk with God.

It's Not About Me by Max Lucado


This book was great, not only because it is written by the ever-popular Max Lucado, but because it really reminded me of what our purpose is, and God's too. I came away from this book with better understanding of how ALL glory is to be given to God. Everything that happens here on Earth, be it good or bad, will be for the greater good of His kingdom. Knowing that, I have a lot more peace about things that happen in my life that are disappointing. Just knowing that it will have brought the greatest amount of glory to God's kingdom is encouraging.


Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer


Wow! This book challenged me in almost every chapter. I felt very convicted about my negative feelings, speech and thoughts. I'm still working on applying these things to my life, and it sure it noticeable how much better I feel!

Traveling Light by Max Lucado


If you were to choose any one of these books to read, let it be this one! This book changed my life, and also the lives of all the other women in my group. I've given this book as a gift, and recommend it highly. I don't want to give too much away, but just imagine the freedom of handing over everything that is burdening you to someone else. Wouldn't you feel great?! The truth is, if you can give even one of your burdens over to Christ, you will feel lighter.


Can You Hear Me? by Brad Jersak


Even though we are only on Chapter 2 of this book, I am still going to recommend it - because I am hooked! I am now a complete "listening prayer" addict, and God has been speaking loud and clear. It's been amazing, and I would love to see and hear more of you out there learn about hearing God's voice. If you have read it, I would love to hear what God has spoken to you.

Sometimes I'm Sad

I haven't really spent a lot of time blogging about our last miscarriage. It's not that I don't think about it, but honestly, I really don't have a lot of time to think about it! There are definately moments where I have a clear enough mind to say, "Wow, I have two or three children waiting for me in Heaven". I say two or three, because it was never entirely determined whether or not our last miscarriage was twins. The ultrasound showed two "clusters", one that was definately a baby, and the other was unclear. It might have just been a large blood clot, but the way the Doctor talked about it sounded like he was leaning towards twin pregnancy. There are no twins in either side of our immediate families, so this would have been one of those one-in-a-million fluke twin pregnancies. That fact alone could be the reason for the miscarriage, as my body was unable to process twins, and thus, they did not thrive.

Today I am a little more emotional about it, because when others around me get pregnant or are thinking about having another baby, my heart starts to ache. I am still very, truly excited for them - my aching heart does not quench my love for other children, and my excitement and joy for the expecting parents. It just reminds me that I want to be in their position, and be fearlessly expecting my next baby.

There is a reason and a purpose for everything - and in many ways, I have already seen some of the blessings in not being pregnant right now. I definately have a lot less stress, and even thinking about a baby coming along a little later seems far more do-able now. I am looking forward to spending the entire summer running after James, and NOT being a sweaty, pregnant woman while doing it (no offence to those of you that will be, hehe)! I am also looking forward to our winter vacation without a newborn, and just James to pack for and entertain. He is at such a fun stage, I'm glad I can take this time to enjoy it longer. I still wish I was pregnant, but I don't really see the point of lamenting about something that I can't change.

Many people ask me if we want more children, or how many children we hope to have. I keep telling them that right now I am happy to be thankful for the ONE that I already have. Don't count your chickens before they hatch, as they say!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.