Lonely

Today has been a little more challenging than some others. Maybe it's because I felt really lonely. My parents are away on a holiday, and Ryan is doing inventory at work and will be home late all week. My in-laws are preparing for a month-long getaway, and are busy trying to pack up and get ready. Friends are busy, the sky is cloudy, and I'm at home with an almost-two-year-old who doesn't want to do anything today but whine and have tantrums - and is only happy if I let him watch "TB". Sigh. On days like this I start to dwell on the bad things, and slowly lose sight of the good things. I try to fill my time, but it seems to just slip away into worried thoughts, and tearful memories. It's been tough to pray lately, and when the day gets lonely and I feel unable to talk to God it's even more unbearably quiet. I know that this is grieving, and it's normal. I just don't like the lingering cloud over my head today - it frustrates me and I can't just shake it off. Perhaps tomorrow will be sunnier around here...