The last three nights have been almost the worst we've ever had with James since he was born. I just don't know if I can blame it on teething, or what?! He had a good night from Friday to Saturday. He was up only once between 11:30pm and 7:30am. Then we went to a cabin from Saturday to Sunday, and he was up several times between 8:00pm and 1:00am, and then finally slept until about 6:30am. I figured it was just the strange surroundings, and the playpen that he slept in. Then came Sunday night, which was really bad. He woke up numerous times throughout the night, and then woke up early. So then there was last night. He was up three times between 8:00pm and 2:00am, and at that point I told my hubby I was ready to just let him cry. I should mention that before bed I gave him teething tablets, and Motrin in the case he was having teething pain. My hubby didn't want to let him cry, so he went in at 2:30am and tried to give James a bottle. I should also mention that during all of these night wakings, James hasn't wanted a bottle or a soother - he is just awake, and upset. I fell into bed exhausted, and didn't hear anything until I woke up this morning. However, my hubby reported that James was up numerous times during the night after that - and he held him and let him sleep in his arms for a few hours. This is seriously NOT working for us right now!
In all other regards, James has been great. He naps well during the day (usually two 1.5-2 hour naps). He eats well, and is happy and content for most of the day. He seems to be going down relatively easily at bedtime, around 8:00pm. I know all of the usual suspects too: it's a habit for him, he is teething, he's gassy, etc, etc. He hasn't been gassy, and although it may be a habit - it's not a habit for him to be up THIS much!
I'm actually not really seeking advice this time around. I know that I need to just implement a plan and go with it - and be CONFIDENT in my decision. I don't want to let him cry though if he is having teething pain - but I find it curious that he would have that much pain even after the teething tablets and Motrin? I never imagined being this exhausted. I want to have fun and have energy to play with James during the day, but I feel like I am just dragging myself around. I know many people tell me this is normal, but it sure doesn't feel normal. In fact, it doesn't feel healthy at all - and I think it is even bad for our marriage at this point! Basically, I can say I am looking for comments from anyone who can relate. Don't tell me if you can't relate, because that isn't what I need right now! Where are you tired, not-sleeping-through-the-night mamas?! Let's join forces, and fight the evil lack of sleep!
16 comments :
Girl, I. Have. Been. There! There is no frustration like being completely exhausted and still not knowing what to do. My guess is teething pain isn't keeping him awake if you've given him motrin. I noticed that both my kids went through phases in the first year where they suddenly became super attached at night and just wanted to be held for no reason except that they just want me or their daddy. At that point there was nothing we could do but let them cry because we certainly weren't going to hold them all night every night. You are not a bad parent for feeling discouraged and tired. We need sleep and when we don't get it we get cranky. And you're totally right when you say it is hard on your marriage. Kids are HARD on MARRIAGES! But I PROMISE it will get better eventually. He will learn to sleep better. I know "some day" isn't all that comforting right now but some day this WILL feel like a very short period of your life in the grand scheme of things. Hang in there. It will get better!
Don't have much time to comment. sounds about right....mom=tired. kids definitely go through stages of sleeping well and then not sleeping well (or at all!). I have days too where I just drag myself around, and then some days I'm so tired I don't even know what happens. (not so good, but then I know that the next night just CANNOT be as bad as the previous one) On that note, I'm going to take a nap because everything aligned just right today and Hailey & Jayda are both taking a nap. Rare. zzzzzz. Hope you get some sleep soon!
ditto. been there. and we're there again. it's totally stages. you see some hope, and then it all goes down the drain. You said you're not looking for advice, and I don't really have any to give, but i know what you are dealing with. It is SO stinkin' frustrating. so i'm with ya.
The one thing you may want to check out before you just let him cry is his ears. A lot of times, if a baby has an ear infection, it bothers them when they're laying down. I also hurts their ears to suck, whether it be on a bottle, or a soother. Other than that, it's probably just a phase. I know, when Chloe went through one like that, we just brought her to bed with us. Not the most ideal situation, but at least the way we got enough sleep to be able to deal with her the next day.
Just wanted to say, that I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
sigh.....Heather.....sigh.....James......
I completely agree with your last paragraph. This is not the time for advice, it's the time for Sargeant Mommy to come in a lay down the law, whatever that law may be, and feel condifent that it is right, and to be followed. It may take a while, a few nights, a week....but stick with it, and you will see results. I do not believe it has to be this way. (just had to add my teeny tiny little itsy bitsy advice in *blush*)
And I also agree with Cindi, I have heard that as well about ear infections. (although if James is super happy go lucky during the day, then that probably isn't the case)
I've heard a saying that goes something along the lines of 'Once you have a baby you get no sleep for the next 2 years'!! Sounds about right. That is exactly why I stopped having kids....I could not go through one more infant stage. (Only took 4 of them to lose my mind, but I finally stopped:))
And girl, kids are rough on a marriage. At first its a bonding experience, but stand by. I am a girl who needs my sleep and when I don't get it...watch out. But we made it through and you will too. To this day we still have our battles. One parent is always more lax(me) than the other parent(him)!!! But it is so, so worth it!!
Hang in there.....and James be good for your Mama!!!
Jamie II
Lack of sleep is definately what I'm going through, and my baby isn't even born yet!! Rowan sleeps like an angel, but I'm up so much and so uncomfortable that it makes my days pretty much suck sometimes. Rowan is so busy during the day and with potty training ARGHH!! I just need a break sometimes. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help during the day so you can rest a bit. It may be the only thing that will keep you sane!
We are definatly experiencing the same thing here. We had two great weeks of Olivia only getting up twice a night and now she is getting up at least 4 times a night again. My son was not like this. Once he was sleeping through the night, he was sleeping through the night! I am not at the stage yet where I can let her cry it out because she is only 5 months old and chances are she is still needing her nighttime feedings. So I am just trying to press through the best I can. It's tough but keep reminding yourself that one day it will be over and then he will be a teenager and you won't ever be able to wake him up!
i don't think tired is the right word for how i feel most days. hannah has decided to make going to bed a 2 hr endevor. and well jackson is a newborn; and we all know they wake up often. i feel like i have forgotten how to function.
I had the hardest time with Hailey, i know you probably don't want to hear this but she was the way and it lasted about 5 month!!! I seriously thought i was going to fall over dead from lack of sleep. I didn't want to let her cry because like you i was afraid she was in pain, but around 11 months old i was fed up with the night time routine and finally let her cry, she only cried for about 10 minutes for the first 3 nights and now she sleeps all night! I never thought that day would come. Just hang in there and soon you'll get your sleep again...i promise!
I have been there,Heather, and it does suck. Now I know how to pray for your family. The Sargeant Mommy approach (as Nin put it) worked for us. BUT WITH THAT SAID, not everyone can take/handle doing that. You're so right...you need to find something that works for you, James & hubby. If your hubby isn't game for the crying method, then I wouldn't do it...because you need all the support POSSIBLE when enduring hearing your baby cry for what could be hours! I'm praying for you today.
hang in there heather.. i wish i had advice to give you... but i dont.
Oral gel i hear works well for teething babies but you have to be careful not to apply to much.
I never had to use any sort of teething tablets or gels w/ Caleb... he got all 16 of his teeth in less than 6 months.... Taite doesnt have any yet.. hes almost 7 months. I know the day is coming. Caleb got his first tooth shortly after he was 7 months old....
Just remember what a blessing he is....
Sign up for the baby skidpants contest on my blog if you want, you dont have to mention it on your blog if you dont want, i know your busy. Might cheer you up if you win them :-)
Tired mommy here! I'll pray for you!
It's funny.....we are all so afraid of trying the "cry it out" method, in fear of coming across as a mean mom, yet so many people have commented on your blog time and time again, that they have tried and succeeded with this method. I have heard this too from many of my mommy friends, and they too have said it only took one night. And what Erica said is true.....not everyone can "handle" it, everyone meaning the mom and dad, because really, it seems to hurt us more than it really hurts the baby. (like the time my daughter needed stitches in her forehead, I was way more traumatized from that experience than she was!) But if we're determined, and our eyes are focused on the goal, it's amazing what we can get through. It's food for thought, but it definately seems to be a method that produces successful stories.
Hey Girlie: Coming form a mommy with 2 children,I'm not gonna give you all kinds of advice just to let you know I am thinking of you and I understand. Brighter days are ahead.
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