Potty Training Day 5 & the Twins

Potty training day five was another success! James woke up dry, and had a pee on the potty after we stripped him down in the morning. We went to a playdate, where he wore underwear and pants and he had no accident. Once we got home for lunch he got stripped down to underwear, and went down for his nap with a Pull-up. He woke up dry, and spent the rest of the afternoon undressed. I think he had another pee. I then let him wear underwear, and we practiced pulling it up and down, and he seemed to get it. In the evening he had a pee and I think a poo with daddy at home (unless otherwise noted, I always mean in the potty). Come bedtime, we put him in a Pull-up and tried to get him to pee before bed. After tucking him in, he came out of his room and asked to go pee. He did! Yay! And off he went back to bed. Again, he woke up this morning dry, and peed after his pajamas came off in the potty. He was then dressed all morning, and we tried to pee at McDonald's but it was "too scary". He still hasn't used a big potty. Anyway, he has remained accident-free, and we are thrilled! Here's hoping to continued success. I may or may not continue to document our progress. I might need advice on how to get him to use the big toilet, especially while we're out. I bought a portable potty seat today, the kind that fold up, so I hope that will help.

Also, yesterday marked two years since we lost our "twins" - our first attempt at baby number two. That was my most sad and heart-breaking miscarriage. I had hoped I would never miscarry again, and I was SO excited to make James a big brother, and then things started to feel... not right. I prayed so hard not to lose that baby. As much as the thought of twins overwhelms me, it would have been neat to have that experience. Guess I will just have to wait until Heaven! I haven't named any of our angel babies, but for some reason when I think of these two names from The Lord of the Rings come to mind - the prominent females from the stories, Eowyn and Arwen.

Haiti

I don't think we truly understand.
This is real.
This happened, and is STILL happening.
What if this was us?
Our friends, family, children... piled on the streets. Dead.
It's easy to push it out of our minds, and worry about other things.
What to eat tonight for supper?
What will the kids wear tomorrow?
When will I get around to sweeping?
It means nothing.
What will it take to make us understand?
My heart breaks when I look at this.
Shattered.
And yet I remain unthankful at times.
Lord, forgive me.

Potty Training - Day 4

Today was a great PT day! James woke up DRY in his Pull-up, or at the very least, we couldn't tell if there was anything in it. We stripped him down right away, and soon enough he had a nice big morning pee on the potty. He spent nearly the entire rest of the morning naked, and had one more pee on the potty. He got a Pull-up for naptime, but woke up dry. He had one more pee on the potty after his nap, and then didn't pee or poop at all for the rest of the day. Not sure what that means... we tried to get him to pee before bed, but with no luck. In any case, he did not have any mishaps today, and that is AWESOME! We'll see if he's dry tomorrow morning!

I just thought of something! I just realized that with James not using a diaper today... it's the first day in three years that I have not changed James' diaper, with the exception of the times when I have been away overnight, which are few.

Potty Training - Day 3

Wow! So after last nights success I felt a lot more hope and positivity coming into today's potty training. I was right to be positive, it's been going well.

First, James HAS to be naked. I dressed him this morning, and he peed almost right away. We then went out for a while, and he had no accidents (held it in). When we got home I immediately stripped him down, and let him run. While I was putting Rayya into her crib for a nap, James stuck his head in the door and whispered "I peed on the potty UPSTAIRS mom!". He hadn't used that one yet... so I was a little curious and nervous. But sure enough! Even when I wasn't there, he used the potty! I was PUMPED, and so was he, so we had a big Potty Party with marshmellows and jelly beans.

After his nap, which I dressed him for, I didn't immediately take off his clothes and that was a mistake. Again, he peed in his pants. However, he had TRIED to sit on the potty... so I didn't give him the cold bath. I just stripped him down, and let him run. He spent most of the afternoon doing what you see in the photo. Watching cartoons while on the potty - he actually seems to prefer to sit on the potty while undressed. Eventually, and again while I was putting Rayya down, he came up (with the bowl from the potty with him) to show me he had peed in the potty again! Yay for another Potty Party!

So... we are making serious progress. So far no poops on the potty though, and so far he doesn't seem to be able to get the idea of pulling down the pants/underwear himself to go. But the fact that he will independently go on the potty while undressed is AWESOME! The day is not over yet, but day three has produced a two-for-two thus far.

UPDATE: We have now had a successful POOP on the potty too! Yahoo!

Potty Training - Days 1 & 2

So, we're potty training. Why? Well, because I looked at the calendar a while back and this entire week had not one thing written in. That, and I sure am tired of wiping up big boy poop. James is a super smart kid - he GETS it. I don't have any worries that he isn't understanding the concept, or not knowing what to do. He knows, and he just doesn't WANT TO DO IT. Also, we want to put him into preschool in fall, and he has to be trained. Some say I should wait till summer. Really?! I don't think we'll want to take time out from the beautiful weather to potty train. Also, that means we're that much closer to "the deadline" and it just puts on more pressure. If he'd learn now, he has several more months to have it figured out by fall.

Some have asked how I knew he was ready. I didn't know. I still don't know. He's never ever shown one "sign of readiness". He doesn't care if he is wet or pooped. He has never shown any sign of discomfort. He has never shown any interest in the toilet. He's watch others, and hasn't been interested. The kid couldn't begin to care. Perhaps all this is enough to say that he is NOT ready - even if he is 3.

I feel stuck.

I've done my fair share of potty-training research, listened to the "experts" (moms, friends, others), and I don't know what approach to take. Some say "tough love" is what he needs now, but others say "no, just make it all a happy experience or else he'll never go". I'm trying to do both.

Day 1: Ryan was home from work due to a storm, so I had extra help. Unfortunately, I think that was a little high pressure with both parents constantly hounding him. James was in underwear all day, and peed three times - all in his underwear. Two out of those three times he was given a chilly wash down in the tub, which resulted in tears and sadness. One of those times was when Rayya was sleeping, so we skipped the drama and just cleaned him up and that was it. He never pooped all day, and eventually he was put back in a diaper for night. We were putting him on the potty in front of the TV every 15-30 minutes, and kept him there for about 10 minutes each time. By the end of the day we were putting him on the potty every 30 minutes or more. He doesn't really complain being on the potty if he can watch TV. Desperate to give him an idea of a reward, I started to reward him for taking down his own pants and underwear. That didn't last.

Day 2: Today James got away on Ryan in the morning and pooped in the underwear first thing in the morning. Thankfully it was hard, and just rolled out with little clean-up required (note: always feed kids rice while potty training). For the rest of the morning I put him on the potty once every hour for 10-15 minutes. He drank lots of juice and milk, but still didn't go. During the time I had gone to put Rayya down for her nap, he peed in the underwear. He got a cold bath, cried, and is now down for his nap (with underwear on). I keep thinking that if he would just have ONE pee or poo on the potty he'll be set! I know him. He'll be so thrilled that he'll keep doing it. He just seems unable to relax and let it come out. I even tried putting his hands in warm water this morning while he sat there, and then poured it into the potty and that didn't do it either.

So, what next? I'm going to try the "everything about this is a party" approach after naptime. I've been strictly warned by some not to discipline him for accidents, and yet others say that he knows better and should get disciplined for accidents. Or are they really accidents? Not really, right? Because he knows what to do, and isn't doing it. I just don't know which route to go with this. It's hard! I just want him to get ONE pee or poop in the potty, and then I know he'll stick with it. How do I motivate him when bribes won't work? How can I get that pee flowing?

UPDATE: Well, we didn't have any luck this afternoon, and there were two accidents with pee. However, a MAJOR breakthrough this evening! Ryan was home from work, and watching James like a hawk. We had him naked from the waist down for a few hours. Ryan saw a dribble, put James on the potty, and voila! He peed! We are now having a full-on potty party, with jelly beans and marshmellows. All in time for a major sugar rush right before bed - but hey - this is a START!!!

Just Pics

James in the Bumbo, March 2007

James in the Bumbo, January 2010

Rayya is really loving to ham it up these days!

A rare moment of James holding Rayya.

Gabriel (3), Josie-Grace (2 mths), James (3), Rayya (4 mths)

Daddy's little girl.

5 Reasons Women Hate February

By Nicole Johnson

It may come as a huge surprise to the men of America, but many women hate the month of February. If you try to discuss this with them, many men will say, “C’mon, you women love that sort of thing.” What sort of thing? Therein lies the problem.

Here are 5 very important reasons that we wouldn’t mind if February were a leap MONTH and we could skip it all together.

1. The Football Season still isn’t over. We used to be able to resume our marriages and important conversations with men before the end of January but now that the NFL Season has been stretched into February, we have to wait another week for the trash to go out. While most women actually enjoy the Super Bowl with its parties, commercials, and crazy half-time show, having it in February rather than earlier in the year is a real bummer.

2. Valentine’s Day. The patron saint of greeting cards is now remembered by overpriced meals with bad service at crowded restaurants. Men face unbelievable pressure to “step up” for this occasion and buy flowers three times too expensive, and worse yet feel compelled to buy something with a heart on it. They willingly rely on a greeting card conglomerate to personally express their “intimate feelings,” which goes about as well as skipping it all together.

3. Couple Mania. If we’re not single, we care about someone who is and we can imagine how it feels during the month of February. The whole commercial craze creates “holiday” feelings of loneliness (that many have just spent January in therapy for) in order to capitalize on the ever important “couple’s specials.” It’s painful.

4. Cheap Chocolate. Mass quantities of chocolate hearts begin to appear. The Christmas chocolate has been melted and reshaped into the forms of Valentine Love, which explains the taste. This “quality” chocolate appears in the most unlikely places, places you would never see chocolate on any other occasion—the pumps at gas stations, the lumber isle at home improvement stores, the check out counter at the Jiffy Lube—trying to catch the attention of the gender that doesn’t understand chocolate and persuade them to buy it now, right now, for their true “love.”

5. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Not only is women’s swimming suddenly the most popular sport, the magazine arrives in the dead of winter. Many of us haven’t hit the gym in a month or two because our car is frozen solid. We haven’t seen the sun in months and our legs are pasty white or coated with dry winter snakeskin. We’re carrying the few extra pounds from cheap chocolate we felt compelled to eat over Valentine’s Day, and we get sand kicked in our face from a beautiful woman frolicking in pot-holder sized swimwear from some warm beautiful location. It’s just too much.

A few hopeful ways to survive one of the worst months of the year:

• Create a Super Bowl commercial score sheet for everyone that will determine your group’s winning ad.

• Host a Valentine Party with couples and lots of single friends. Your friends will appreciate going anywhere other than a restaurant.

• Order or pick up some nice chocolate (like Godiva) for your husband or significant other early in the month (i.e. before they buy any for you) to enjoy “together” for Valentine’s Day.

• When the SI issue arrives, paste the head of your mother on the bodies of all the models.

Dragged Down with the Drama

I'm not sure about all of you, but one thing I didn't love about junior and senior high school was all the drama. Everything was about who said what, when they said it, who was there, who was your best friend, and who wasn't. I really hated it. All I wanted was everyone to be friends with everyone, and to have a few friends that I could trust and rely on.

I couldn't wait to move on after high school. I went off to Briercrest Bible College after I graduated. It was refreshing to start new. Everyone was more mature, and before long, I had found a nice little groove that I fit into perfectly. I decided that I never wanted to have that kind of drama in my life anymore.

Well, I have pretty much been able to avoid the drama. However, there are some people you can't just ignore, or not include as a part of your circle of friends. I have fairly recently allowed someone I've known for nearly my whole life into my circle. I was hestitant to do so, and now I am fast realizing why. I don't know why I let this person in, after years of living happily without having them be a close part of my life. I suppose it started out with Facebook (curse you Facebook!), and our communication there just naturally caused us to grow closer.

Now, I'm back into the drama again! I am constantly offending this person, or causing some kind of misunderstanding. I don't have this problem with any of my other friends! I feel I have to walk on eggshells, and even when I do that, I still seem to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

What also seems to be backfiring is my response to these dramatic episodes. I used to use the phrase "disarm them with love" back in my high school days. I've tried that same tactic in this situation, but that hasn't worked. Now, I find myself just becoming defensive and irritated, because I'm not so concerned about preserving my reputation, or appearing cool, or needing to have all the right friends. These days, I just want peace and quiet. I don't want to fight or argue. This person though, loves to fight and argue - and most of all - this person really has to have the last word. It is beyond irritating. And the trouble is, I can't just walk away and make it all go back to how it used to be. Argh.

Very Unfunny

So... last night I was feeling particularly hungry, and kept finding new snacks to keep my tummy happy. I was also feeling a little funny, with a touch of light-headedness. Ryan took note, and made a comment about me being pregnant again. Har. Har. Not a chance. Or was there a chance? No. NO! Definately not... right?

Well, that comment planted a seed of paranoia in me. When Ryan left to go do a few things out of the house, I went straight to my room to find a lingering pregnancy test someone had left me (thanks a lot YOU). I thought I was just being silly, and because I hadn't bought the test then hey - it was something to do. Right?

I did the test, and IMMEDIATELY a line comes up boldly in both little windows. Oh. My. Word.

Envision complete shock, followed by a giggle, then nearly tears, and then just numbness. Oh. My. Word. This CANNOT be happening. No. NO. This is not the time. This baby would be due ON RAYYA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY. No.

I awkwardly went to find Ryan. Um, honey... I think I actually AM pregnant. He made a reference to needing some Scotch. What on earth! This can't be happening to me. I am NOT ready, SO not ready! I paced the floor a while, until I decided that I should perhaps call the original purchaser of said pregnancy test. Just to make sure. So I call and ask her if she recalls what the positive sign on this particular test was supposed to look like. I told her what mine looked like, and she was unsure, but kinda thought that "ya, I think that's what a positive sign is supposed to look like". Oh. My. Word.

But I was not convinced, and wasn't quite ready to allow this to be a reality. Sure, I would have been happy eventually - but let's all admit it, this would be too soon to really be in the PLAN. So I did what all good parents do when they don't know what to do... I Googled. I Googled "positive pregnancy test images". I searched and searched until I finally found one that had a picture of the same (or similar) test that I had taken. And there it was...

The BEAUTIFUL photo proved to me that I had to have a PLUS SIGN in the first window to be positive - not just a LINE! YAY! I was so relieved, so very, very relieved. But perhaps this was a delicate reminder that it may be time to look into some methods of "family planning" soon.

Funny now, but SO unfunny as it was happening yesterday.

Four Months

Wow, I don't recall any other time in my life when four months flew by so incredibly fast! My little baby Rayya is four months old already, crazy! Rayya continues to be a joy, and perhaps it's just simply the fact that I am now a second-time mom, but she seems so much easier than James was. Here are just a few things that she is up to in a day:

• Usually up at around 8:00am every day, and when she has had a good sleep, she will always be ready to greet us with a big grin, with her arms and legs waving wildly with the excitement of seeing us.

• She is drinking about 4oz. of Nestle Good Start every 3 hours during the day.

• She is all over the map with her daytime sleep. I don't really mind, as long as she continues to sleep through the night!

• She is usually sleeping through the night now from 8:30pm to 8:00am, with the occasional wake-up for a soother.

• She has not yet rolled over, but has come pretty close!

• She hates tummy time, so we don't do it much.

• She loves getting kissed, taking baths, being undressed, and being on her playmat.

• This week she started holding toys and sucking/biting them. She drools constantly, and I have to put a bib on her.

• Rayya won't take a bottle from anyone but me, and sometimes my mom.

• Rayya doesn't like to drink when I'm not moving - I have to hold her, walk around the house, and try to keep the bottle in her mouth all at the same time.

• At her last check-up she weighed 13lbs, and is now wearing 3-6 month sleepers.

• Her bottom gums are really swollen, so I think we'll be seeing those first teeth soon.

• Rayya says "hi", or at least she makes a sound that sounds an awful lot like it if you say "hi" to her.

• Rayya makes strange, and is extremely fussy in a crowd. Even when there are a few too many people in one house, she doesn't like it.

• Despite the above point, like the good girl that she is, Rayya loves the mall!